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[inthewar]

[ He has no idea what the fuck is going on, but he knows he's never felt like this before. He's reflected on the things he regrets, of course, and he's been haunted by the choices he made in certain situations, but he carries on with the business of living well enough. He takes what he can get, what joy he can find, and he focuses on that.

So, what the fuck. ]

Anyone else feeling pretty shitty almost non-stop?

[ He has no shame in talking to people, why the hell not? He has nothing to hide in expressing his emotions, though that doesn't at all mean he's ready or willing to just confess all his sins to whoever the hell is listening right now. He's got some measure of control still. ]

I was a fucking asshole once. I get it. I know it.

But whatever this feeling is now - shit. It's this place, right? It's gotta be.

[ And he has this desperate, almost suffocating need to fix the terrible things he's done, but he can't. He's just paralyzed by this overwhelming feeling of being an irredeemable asshole. ]

Comments

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[evocation]

[Kyna is getting off easy here. She feels guilty, yes, but there isn't anything that keeps her up at night normally, so it's just a general sort of regret, not something overwhelming. Still, it's enough to clue her in that something is wrong. Kyna looks vaguely uncomfortable, chin propped up on her hand. ]

Yeah. It's probably some present to us from one of the douchebag gods.

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[inthewar]

[ His own regrets have usually just manifested in horrible fucking dreams that sometimes pull him out of a dead sleep in a cold sweat. Horrible and uncomfortable, but even then, nothing compared to what he's feeling now. What makes it worse is he feels so unsettled, like he needs to do something to fix it, make up for it all, and he can't because he's trapped here. ]

Fuck. [ He rubs a hand over his brow for a moment, and his entire demeanor is such a stark contrast to how he'd been on his first day here. ] Any clue how long we'll be stuck feeling like this?

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[evocation]

I don't think I've ever seen it last longer than like... a week? Usually a few days. Uh... Are you okay?

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[am_i_a_monster]

By shitty, you mean guilty? I'm feeling that. I was worse than an asshole.

[She feels responsible for all the deaths her father caused and feels it more deeply now. Hannibal's murders feel like her fault too, even the ones she wasn't around for.]

I don't if it's just this place, or if I'm losing my ability to repress everything.

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[inthewar]

[ Worse than an asshole. What the hell could a kid have done that'd be so bad? ]

Yeah. Really fucking guilty.

What kind of shit are you dealing with?

[ Hey, misery loves company, right? No better time than now - when he feels like an absolute shitshow - to talk it out with someone who feels pretty terrible, too. ]

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[am_i_a_monster]

I'm dealing with ghosts of all the people who are dead because of me. I see them when I sleep, even when I simply close my eyes. I feel so guilty.

[It's the best word she has, and yet it doesn't seem enough to describe how overwhelming the feelings are.]

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[knifecollecting]

[Jo's pretty certain that this has something to do with Sorrow, but...It's still getting to her.

Still, this video makes her laugh quietly as she starts to respond.]

Do you mean one time or once for a period of time?

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[inthewar]

[ If this were any other time, he might be laughing, too. Because this all feels like such a bunch of self-loathing, self-righteous nonsense. But he's stuck just feeling like absolute shit instead, and it's an awful feeling. ]

When I was younger. I was an asshole for a long time to a lot of people.

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[knifecollecting]

Everyone's a little shit when they're a kid. [She's taking this seriously, mostly.]

What did you do?

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[abyssalarcana]

no guilt here so it must be you
whatever you did must have been pretty awful
they say if you talk about it youll feel better though have you tried that

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[inthewar]

awesome. yay me.
I've been talking to myself about it a lot, does that count? I've found out I'm really not helpful

[ And yes, what he did was pretty awful. ]

[abyssalarcana]

sounds like you answered your own question
not only did you do something terrible but also cant even help yourself
guess the gods just want to remind you of all that failure

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[toiletseat_girl]

I always feel pretty shitty almost non-stop, but not gonna lie, this has been a whole 'nother level of shitty.

Same here.

It's this place being a fucking bastard.

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[inthewar]

[ He doesn't tend to be the type to feel shitty non-stop, so this is something he's just not used to handling. He tries to live the good life, for the most part, in between nearly getting killed on a regular basis. But all of that's changed now, of course. This is a whole new fucking ball game. ]

Got here at the right fucking time then, I guess. Would've been pissed if I missed all this fun.

[ He sighs a little. ]

Shit. Well. At least you get it.

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[toiletseat_girl]

[George is the type of person to feel shitty non-stop, unfortunately. it's a lack of self-esteem thing. she's trying to get better at it, but then something like this happens and it kind of sets her back to square one]

Yeah, it just isn't Hadriel if some fake god or another isn't making you feel all kinds of feelings you'd rather not be feeling.

I should hope so. Been here nine months.

[roseofthetyrells]

[Margaery has been feeling terribly ever since her ordeal with the demon, but now she's been having feelings of guilt over the people she had to step on in order to become queen and she does not like this feeling one bit, thank you]

It likely is this place, but that doesn't make the feelings invoked any less real.

[inthewar]

It sure fucking doesn't. Never felt this bad in my life. Shit.

[ He lets out a breath, frowning a little. ]

Sorry. I mean. Wish no one else had to go through it, honestly.

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[hasitsthorns]

Welcome to the party, dude.

[ Interestingly enough? She doesn't actually sound totally sarcastic. For as bad as she feels, it's hard for Rose to really be down when she knows what it means.

This is the first time in a while she's truly felt sorrow. He'll be back soon. ]

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[inthewar]

Lucky I got here when I did. Would've been pissed to miss out on this.

[ Because he, you know, feels so great right now. ]

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[64th]

Did I forget to tell you? We're all assholes here. [ joking but also not really joking tbh ]

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[inthewar]

Even you, honey? Fucking hard to believe. [ It's kind of almost impossible right now, but there is the barest hint of a smirk on his face before it falls away quickly. ]

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[a_shadow]

fucking hell

[ Guess who hadn't thought about it being the work of the so-called gods until now? And Tex had even been warned about this when she arrived. ]

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[inthewar]

Yeah. Fucking right. Shit sucks right now.

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[sneaklizard]

[ It came like a wave. For the first few hours of the first day, she wasn't sure what it was. Just a bad day, a bad morning, thinking about a lot of stuff at the same time.

But, by the sound of it, it's not just her. Or him, by that matter.]

Yeah, huh, feels like it's a little too...intense? To just be, you know, a normal thing.

I think they're doing something.

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[inthewar]

You've had experience with this?