>> video.

[inthewar]

[ He has no idea what the fuck is going on, but he knows he's never felt like this before. He's reflected on the things he regrets, of course, and he's been haunted by the choices he made in certain situations, but he carries on with the business of living well enough. He takes what he can get, what joy he can find, and he focuses on that.

So, what the fuck. ]

Anyone else feeling pretty shitty almost non-stop?

[ He has no shame in talking to people, why the hell not? He has nothing to hide in expressing his emotions, though that doesn't at all mean he's ready or willing to just confess all his sins to whoever the hell is listening right now. He's got some measure of control still. ]

I was a fucking asshole once. I get it. I know it.

But whatever this feeling is now - shit. It's this place, right? It's gotta be.

[ And he has this desperate, almost suffocating need to fix the terrible things he's done, but he can't. He's just paralyzed by this overwhelming feeling of being an irredeemable asshole. ]

Comments

Video

[knifecollecting]

[Jo's pretty certain that this has something to do with Sorrow, but...It's still getting to her.

Still, this video makes her laugh quietly as she starts to respond.]

Do you mean one time or once for a period of time?

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[inthewar]

[ If this were any other time, he might be laughing, too. Because this all feels like such a bunch of self-loathing, self-righteous nonsense. But he's stuck just feeling like absolute shit instead, and it's an awful feeling. ]

When I was younger. I was an asshole for a long time to a lot of people.

Video

[knifecollecting]

Everyone's a little shit when they're a kid. [She's taking this seriously, mostly.]

What did you do?

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[inthewar]

I wasn't a kid. [ It would have been easier to dismiss it then, maybe. ] And it was a lot of shit. But it's shit I've carried around for a while so I don't know why it's worse all of a sudden here. You been here a while? You have any idea why I might be feeling like this?

Video

[knifecollecting]

Oh. [She's quiet for a moment, looking down before she shrugs.]

The gods can influence emotions.

Video

[inthewar]

Nice. Another perk of being here. I feel really fucking blessed.

Video

[knifecollecting]

Yeah, it's all part of the vacation package. [She laughs bitterly.]

At least there's sun now. Sometimes too much.

Video

[inthewar]

Can't say I care about the sun right now.

[ In all honesty. Sitting in total darkness sounds much better. ]

Video

[knifecollecting]

Better to be depressed in the sun than in a freaking cave. [Well, maybe.]

So, what's your problem?

Video

[inthewar]

For some people, I guess.

[ He shrugs a little. ]

A lot of shit, like everyone else, I guess.

Video

[knifecollecting]

Shit like "once I wore all denim" or actual shit you should be sorry for?

[She's only listen to one end of this spectrum, Damien.]

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[inthewar]

Since I'm not an extra in a music video from the '80s, no, I haven't worn all denim. But who the fuck talks about it like it's some big regret?

[ He's a little sidetracked now. ]

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[knifecollecting]

Someone without real problems, I bet. [She shrugs. Her opinion of Rita is only gathered from the two network posts she's seen from her. Jo is not impressed.]

You'd make a good music video extra though.

Video

[inthewar]

You're saying that now but you haven't seen me dance. I think I'm pretty good, though. Despite uh, the wrong opinions of others.

Video

[knifecollecting]

Maybe you can show me when you're not feeling too guilty to dance.

[And she will probably laugh.]

Video

[inthewar]

Maybe I will.

[ He smirks a little, but he's just a little deflated right now, with everything. Not up to his usual caliber of flirting. ]

Re: Video

[knifecollecting]

[Well, she didn’t quite mean to be flirting. Mostly.]

I’ve got alcohol if you wanna talk about it.

Video

[inthewar]

[ He'd apologize for himself but it's just the way he is, and he rarely ever passes up the chance to flirt. ]

If that's how you wanna spend your day, up to you, honey. Where should I meet you?

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[knifecollecting]

[Why would he apologize?

As it is, there's a brief moment of surprise on Jo's face. It's been a long time.]

You're new. Where do you know how to get to?

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[inthewar]

Got a map on my phone, and I've been here a few weeks now. Not the expert, but I can find my way around.

Or you tell me what you want.

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[knifecollecting]

[She shrugs. Good enough.]

Inside or out?

Video

[inthewar]

Whatever the fuck. I'm not picky.

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[knifecollecting]

Meet me at the Orchard. I'll be there.

[inthewar]

Alright. See you soon. [ He doesn't get there in record time or anything, but eventually he's there, waiting for her. ]

> action

[knifecollecting]

[Jo didn't get there too long before he did, honestly, but she already has a blanket spread out underneath a tree. There's no food, but she's got some cups and alcohol out.]

Over here.