hadriel | >> video.

[ He has no idea what the fuck is going on, but he knows he's never felt like this before. He's reflected on the things he regrets, of course, and he's been haunted by the choices he made in certain situations, but he carries on with the business of living well enough. He takes what he can get, what joy he can find, and he focuses on that.

So, what the fuck. ]

Anyone else feeling pretty shitty almost non-stop?

[ He has no shame in talking to people, why the hell not? He has nothing to hide in expressing his emotions, though that doesn't at all mean he's ready or willing to just confess all his sins to whoever the hell is listening right now. He's got some measure of control still. ]

I was a fucking asshole once. I get it. I know it.

But whatever this feeling is now - shit. It's this place, right? It's gotta be.

[ And he has this desperate, almost suffocating need to fix the terrible things he's done, but he can't. He's just paralyzed by this overwhelming feeling of being an irredeemable asshole. ]

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[ That prompts him to finish the rest of his glass in one large sip, and when she's done, he just takes a moment to absorb and process this. So that's most of her story, in a nutshell. And it all sounds like it was pretty fucking terrible. ]

Cash - fuck. I don't even know what to say. [ It's not because he thinks she did anything wrong, just that she had to go through all of that. But then he sets his glass down, reaching out to cover her wrist lightly. ] That was a horrible, fucked life you had to live back there. No one should have to go through that. Now I get why here's a better place to be and I mean - shit, I don't want you to ever have to go back there.

[ she moves her hand - not away, but so that she can intertwine her fingers with his. ] I don't want to go back either. [ she chuckles: ] Besides, I'm dead and there's a big war. It really puts a cramp in my retirement plans.

[ the weight in her chest feels a little lighter having gotten most of her fucked up life summary out. the rest can wait till some other time. ] I know none of that is normal but I don't know who I'd be if I hadn't gone through all that and I like who I am. Is that crazy? That I don't regret all of it? Sometimes I don't regret any of it. I was surviving.

[ Now he knows where she picked up her skills, too. It all makes sense. But he also gets what she's saying. With their fingers laced together, he strokes his thumb across her wrist lightly. ]

Yeah. You're not going anywhere, not if I have anything to say about it. [ Fuck, and she's dead, too? Not like he has much say in any of what happens here, but he'll sure as hell try. He wants to ask her more about that, her death, but it's a lot of terrible stuff to bring up all at once so he'll give them both a little breathing room. ]

And no, it's not crazy, honey. You did what you had to do, and as far as I'm concerned, you turned out pretty fucking awesome. [ At last, a smile breaks through. More like his authentic self, and not this guilt-ridden sad fuck. ] I like who you are, too. I like you a whole lot.

[ she smiles back. ] Of course I'm awesome. I'm beautiful, smart, and funny. I can kick almost anyone's ass. And I'm very modest about all of my talents. [ in honesty, she appreciates him saying that. after hearing about other people's worlds it can be hard to not feel damaged, or at the very least like she got a really raw deal. ]

I like you too. I'm glad you're here even if it is some weird alien hell hole. It's nice having someone around who gets it. I can tell you get it.

[ He gets a kick out of it when she talks herself up. Firstly, because he agrees with her entirely, and secondly, he hopes she really does believe all that about herself because she is beautiful, smart, and funny, among many other things. ] You're the coolest person around here, honey. [ She must have a ton of people chasing after her, he thinks. Maybe not to settle down - who the fuck could, in a place like this - but just to be close to her, connected to her. ]

It means a lot to uh...kind of feel known. Understood. I know what you mean. [ So yes, he definitely gets it. ] And just so you know, you can kick my ass anytime. Please. [ He adds that last part with a grin. ]

Now that you're here, you're a close second to me.

[ Cashmere keeps to herself a lot, because sometimes she's not sure she knows how to connect with someone in a normal way. maybe it's some of those same survival she relied on at home.

her expression brightens at the suggestion of kicking his ass. ] Really? Cause I could use someone to workout with and if I can't hold my own against someone your size, then I might as well just give up.

Guess I am pretty cool.

[ He grins, and it's clear that he's at least coming out of the fog of pretty terrible, dark thoughts that had been weighing so heavy on him. ]

And yeah. Anytime. But if you bang me up real bad, promise to kiss and make it better?

[ beautiful women make excellent distractions. ]

Why do I feel like you're going to purposely take a punch to the face at first opportunity?

[ All that power over him now. ]

You really think I'd do that? [ He pretends to look offended for a moment, but the slight twinkle in his eyes gives that away. ] Shame I have to wait that long, but you know what they say about good things.

[ she shrugs at him, and teases: ] You never know. A place like this, you could get smacked in the face and need my assistance at any time. I'm just a call or a text away.

I'll put you on speed dial. [ He grins and lets out a breath. ] We should get that workout in soon, though. Counting on you to teach me a few things.

[ Cashmere nods. ] Absolutely. How do you feel about knife tricks? Cause you look like you've got some good arms on you.

Well, I've never done anything like what I saw you do, but I'm all in for learning. It's all about the right teacher, right?

Might as well put these arms to good use. [ He smirks a little, patting his own bicep and flexing it momentarily, in an exaggerated way, not taking himself too seriously at all. ]

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