>> video.

[inthewar]

[ He has no idea what the fuck is going on, but he knows he's never felt like this before. He's reflected on the things he regrets, of course, and he's been haunted by the choices he made in certain situations, but he carries on with the business of living well enough. He takes what he can get, what joy he can find, and he focuses on that.

So, what the fuck. ]

Anyone else feeling pretty shitty almost non-stop?

[ He has no shame in talking to people, why the hell not? He has nothing to hide in expressing his emotions, though that doesn't at all mean he's ready or willing to just confess all his sins to whoever the hell is listening right now. He's got some measure of control still. ]

I was a fucking asshole once. I get it. I know it.

But whatever this feeling is now - shit. It's this place, right? It's gotta be.

[ And he has this desperate, almost suffocating need to fix the terrible things he's done, but he can't. He's just paralyzed by this overwhelming feeling of being an irredeemable asshole. ]

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[abyssalarcana]

[She nods slowly, hiding well her satisfaction that he's behaving as she had hoped. She just has to try not to overdo it - she doesn't really care for being pitied, especially over a false story.]

Thank you. But it was long enough ago now, I don't mind. It's nice, actually, having someone who will listen.

[She gives him a reassuring smile, pauses, then leans against the countertop, standing nearer to him.]

It was just hard, in little insidious ways I hadn't seen at first. I was an outsider. Everyone there had perfect pale skin and I stood out like a sore thumb. I fell in love and had a son, but the boy's father left us - and how could I hunt bounties or defend villages from threatening monstrosities if I had a son to raise?

[She seems to stop herself, and sighs.]

Sorry, I didn't mean to get on this topic, I had intended to tell you the exciting stories only.

[inthewar]

[ He hadn't really known what to make of her when they'd first started talking, and part of that was simply due to the inadequacies of communicating solely through text. When he'd been able to see her face, well his first thought was that she was beautiful. His second thought was she could understand him on some level. Nothing about her has struck him as odd, other than...well, okay, the crazy ass thorns outside are a little odd, but he's not here to judge.

Hearing her story now, he feels compelled to comfort her, far beyond just the usual platitudes people typically dole out when someone has a sad story. The story of her son's father leaving cuts particularly deep, as Damien himself had left his ex and his child many years ago. He'd been a coward then. He hadn't left because they were a burden to him in anyway, he'd left because he would have screwed up their lives, of that he was certain. What good was he ever gonna be for them?

That's a story he doesn't want to tell. Just like the story of killing Daniel. But he can't seem to help himself. ]

Fuck. He's a fucking asshole for leaving you. And I'm a fucking asshole, too. [ Whatever he was hoping to do - hoping to comfort her, if he could - that's all about to be ruined, he's sure. ] Long time ago, I left my girl when she was pregnant with my kid. Just...left 'em. Never went back.

I'm sorry. I didn't wanna talk more about my shit.

[abyssalarcana]

[Oh wow, no, this is perfect - though she manages to conceal the delight on her face as he reveals that bit of information. She's getting all the juicy secrets today, what a treat. Her look of surprise and the little gasp that accompanies it are genuine, but she frowns and bites her lip, trying to look concerned instead.]

I - well. It's in the past, now, right? I won't hold it against you. We've all done things we shouldn't have. This place can give us a second chance.

[She moves closer as she says this, holding her cup as she leans against him a little. Yes, that's right, two broken people who need each other. That's what this is. She'll have to turn things around at least a little though, if he's receptive, since him moping like this isn't exactly a turn-on even if he's pretty fucking hot otherwise.]

[inthewar]

[ Unfortunately for Damien, she's saying all the right things. Underneath his posturing lies a sensitive soul with a tender heart. He sleeps around all the time, he's good at fucking and running because he moves around so much that it just works out well for him. He gets to avoid the mess of becoming emotionally attached. But the thing is, it happens easily for him despite his best efforts to pretend otherwise. If someone's been knocked down in their life, if they're in a vulnerable place, he feels compelled to help.

His method of "helping" usually involves sex, at least in part. So, he wants that now. He's good at it, so he thinks he can help her, help the both of them.

Nodding a little, he smiles softly, feeling relieved that she doesn't seem to think less of him for his confession. It's almost too good to be true. ]

I'm a big fan of second chances. This stupid fucking...whatever this is that's going on right now - being fucked with by the gods around here - that aside, there's a couple of good things about this place.

[ He leans in a little closer, intent on turning this around, making her feel better. ]

Beautiful women, for one.

[abyssalarcana]

[Perfect, she's read him well, but the current way of things makes most everyone an open book. They're still in the kitchen, so all she has to do is reach over and set her nearly-empty cup of coffee on the counter, then lightly places an arm around his waist as her other hand traces up one of his arms, feeling out muscle beneath his shirt.

The look on her face is probably one he's quite familiar with - that of a woman who is all too eager for some physical affection from him. It pains her to go slow, but she's still trying to let him take the lead. He seems like the type who prefers it that way, and honestly, she does too, but the current pace is agonizing.]

I... I didn't expect this place to bring me someone like you. I know I called you "not bad" earlier but - in person, you're so much more. Please, Damien.

[inthewar]

[ Damien usually moves much faster than this, but he wanted to be sure he wasn't taking advantage of her in a vulnerable situation. It's clear to him, though, that she wants this, too, he feels assured of that, and now he's far less inhibited. ]

You only have to say that once. I'll take good care of you, honey. Promise.

[ He smiles softly, and then he takes her face between his hands, kissing her deeply. It's a tender touch, just to start, but then he moves his hands after a moment, caressing down her neck until he reaches her waist, anchoring there for a moment. ]

(cw: gettin a little pg-13 style nsfw-ish)

[abyssalarcana]

[She sighs into the kiss, pulse quickening as she presses against him. Finally, someone here hasn't run off or turned her down. What is it with these people declining a fun time together? It's like they're worried she'll kill them in their sleep or something.

To be fair, the thought would probably cross her mind at least.

But the physical intimacy is something she aches for. She can't remember the last time she had had to go this long without sharing someone's bed. Murder is better than sex, but sex is still a necessity.

As his hands reach her waist, hers travel up his back and shoulders and while she can't quite loop them all the way around his neck easily due to her height, she can still hold him close. It only lasts a moment though before those hands slide around to his front and she pulls back a little with a smile as she seeks to remove his shirt.]

[inthewar]

[ Technically, it really hasn't been that long since he slept with someone. He's only been stuck in this place a few weeks, and he'd had some fun with a local girl on a mission back home, just before getting here. But a few weeks is still longer than he usually goes without sex, so he's definitely missed physical intimacy, too. Now that they've started, it's like an itch being scratched and he's hooked, he wants this. She's fucking beautiful and she wants him, and hey, bonus points, he can make her feel really good for a little while, too. Take her mind off some shit. He's just a second away from letting her take his shirt off, when some sense of reason kicks in. It's rare for him, but it happens.

On the whole, he's made some questionable and fairly terrible choices in the past when it comes to sleeping with people. Nothing about Caedra herself really makes him doubt his choice to have sex with her right now, but rather, it's his own issue with what comes after. He can't remember the last time he slept with anyone and then actually had to see them again after the fact. If he sleeps with her now, then what? They're stuck in the same place for who the fuck knows how long. She's a nice girl, she even gets him on a level that's rare for him to find in other people. That's an alluring quality, no doubt, but for once, he's actually considering the consequences. Maybe she won't care about hooking up again later. Maybe his modus operandi of fucking and running will serve him just fine. But he can't be sure, and he doesn't honestly want to make things worse for her. She's been through enough. His motivations aren't entirely selfless, but mostly, he doesn't want to inadvertently heap any extra shit on her. He's a fucked up guy with weird attachment issues, no need to get her caught up in his disaster of a life.

So, despite really wanting to take good care of her like he said he would, he stops himself, kissing her one last time, but then pulling back with a heavy sigh. ]


Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, I'm sorry. I know what I said, but - we gotta stop. I have to.

[abyssalarcana]

What?

[She blinks, a little breathless. She had just been getting into this, too. What the fuck is he going on about?

The only thing she can think of is that whatever the gods have done is ruining whatever they had been about to have. And, particularly, that Damien here - so easy to fool, so sensitive and so eager - is much more susceptible to their work than she is.

She's angry at the gods, mostly, but he's the one who will get the blame, as her expression shifts from confusion to anger. Betrayal, just a little. How dare he let her get worked up like this and then try to get away?]

Damien.

[Her voice isn't pleading, as she is separated from him. She doesn't beg. Instead, her tone is low - a warning. Her little victory has been torn away, and it hurts, and now she's not quite sure what to do other than let the anger feed on itself and multiply.]

[inthewar]

[ He's honestly never done this before, and he feels like shit for it. She doesn't deserve it, both his contradictory behavior, nor his fucking mess of a life. ]

I'm sorry, honey. I'm a fucking asshole, trust me, I know it.

[ He's hurt her, and honestly it's just a terrible feeling. ]

It's not you. Not you at all. It's me. I just - I gotta get outta here before I screw this up anymore.

[ And just like that, he turns to go, ready to leave. Normally, he'd at least give the girl a parting kiss but that would just make things worse in this instance. ]

[abyssalarcana]

[He turns his back and she reflexively summons her sword to her hand. He's in his own head, he doesn't suspect a thing, and she can see exactly where she would strike if she wanted to pierce through his heart and drop him dead in an instant. She can vividly picture the creep of blackness as the tissue around the wound dies and rots. It has been quite some time since she killed something that wasn't one of the pathetic monstrosities that lurk at the edges of the city and she yearns for blood.

But, wordlessly, she lets him go instead. When the time is right, she will kill so many of these pitiful mortals and pile their bodies up as a monument to the powers of the Abyss. Until that time, she will try to pretend she has given up on her plans. Many of them know what she is, and they won't forget, but at least they might grow as complacent with her walking among them as they have with the gods and with this prison. She simply needs to bide her time.]