[Glacius doesn't even bother to hide the way his expression falls as he hears his partner's condition relayed back to him. It may be a plight he has become well familiar with over the months, but it does not make it any less terrible to him.] So nearly all of it, then. The loss of vibrance to his body, in appearance and function... his greying hair, his fatigue, the way his joints lock up and protest after any considerable exertion... it all goes back to that. I will not speak on the secrets of my partner as if they mine to tell... but there is no point trying to hide from you what you already know, and he and I both agree that we have to expand our efforts to stop it.
... And you and I both agree that we will do whatever it takes to see that through. Still, we have to be careful and measured in our approach. I so desperately want to make things better for Carlisle too, but I... I cannot endanger him. [And making a phylactery certainly seems plenty dangerous. He knows Kate doesn't need to hear that, though; she doesn't need him to lecture her.]
( He might not have told her every part of his condition, but it can be seen anyway. The changes to his pallor, the difficulty that it causes in moving. She recognises the problems well enough, even more so when her eyes flare bright white and the state of his powers comes into clear view. )
It's not- ( An exhale, a loud one. She'd hoped, when posting, that any price could be paid by her and Carlisle would reap the benefits. But that clearly isn't the case. She won't put him through something which sounds altogether worse than death, but they can't just give up, either. )
It's not like tears in someone's powers. Can't just... send him into surgery and have it be fine. ( Which is pissing her off more than anything. She can see this, but Carlisle's world and the things that occurred within it don't follow the same rules as hers. Her powers are likely nothing more than a HD viewing of her friend's slow death. )
[They can't just give up, but they can't go making important decisions that involve Carlisle's life for him either--especially when said decisions involve them sacrificing themselves, something the cleric very much would not want them to do. It is, undoubtedly, a complicated issue... but they have to find something to do about it. Kate had the right idea in that regard, and her penchant for action is something that Glacius knows will be useful, especially if tempered by his scrounging for information.
That's something he still needs to do here, he realizes.] That is how it works in your world? You can just... perform physical surgery to fix something like that? [The ice alien lets out a huff of disbelief.] I only wish it was so simple, here. Our answer will likely have to be something on the metaphysical level... he has responded well to my Mote, but it does not quite seem to be enough on its own.
( There may be, just may be a slight note of panic to her actions here, spurred on by the things she sees in Carlisle as well as her own impotent frustration at the things recently told to her by Ignis. If she can't stop those, can she at least stop Carlisle from dying?
Can the multiverse give her that much? )
Powers, sure. As physical as anything else.
( If it was just Carlisle's power, she could probably help balance it, sustain it in some way, even without the surgery. But it's not. )
How the hell does anythin' even damage a soul, anyway?
( It's a mostly rhetorical question, but the concept of a soul to Kate has never been anything more than a vague wondering. A figure of speech or something from the kind of people who ramble about gods and...
Not always. My own are tied to my energy, yes, but that in turn is fueled the strength of my spirit... my will.
[Of course, that too is something that Carlisle struggles with, though lately Glacius has also witnessed moments of great determination poking through the despair and worry. It is always heartening to see... but unfortunately it is not enough to sustain his partner from here on out.
As for Kate's more rhetorical inquiry, Glacius can only frown and shake his head.] I do not entirely understand it myself... I believe it happened when he suffered an injury that should have killed him, but that he was able to live through. How that physical wound someone became a metaphysical one is unclear to me... perhaps despite the talent of his healers, they weren't able to fully restore him.
But where they failed, we cannot. We will not. I believe there is a solution, and with your help, I know that we can find it. But we have to keep Carlisle appraised of our efforts. It is is his life... and thus, ultimately, his decision.
Regardless, Glacius' answer to her venting actually... clears it up a little for Kate. Not that she can claim to be an expert on the idea, when she dismissed the idea of souls as vague nonsense for the majority of her life, but-
She grabs a pen and paper to scribble down a drawing that looks vaguely like Carlisle lying dead. Adds a blob above him, a soul flying out of his body. Essentially, as far as she understands it, he was killed, whatever happens to souls trying to get to the afterlife started happening, but didn't finish.
And now he's stuck between both states. And looking at a fate worse than death because people came too late. The thought is so eerily familiar that it makes her shudder with the realisation that it could have been worse for Marc. )
Don't think any healer could fix a soul leaving the body.
( They stopped Faith from healing Marc because she was so exhausted and he was so close to the edge that it would have made no difference. But if they did, if souls were anything more than vague garbage back home...
She's just. Going to be quiet for a while. This is all bringing up too many familiar things. )
I cannot say. There is an order of my people dedicated to communing with our souls... but the way our own manifest is very different from how other species' seem to. And even if there was not such a difference, they are not here, and I do not have the same training... but my Mote is helping. Perhaps... perhaps I can give him more of myself.
[A pause, as he notices Kate's shudder into silence; he knows here well enough to pick up when her being rendered wordless is actually saying a fair bit.] ... Are you all right, my friend? Has something occurred to you?
( Which could just make it harder for Glacius, she doesn't know. She's already intimately familiar with how bright his influence is within Carlisle, how much it's already doing to keep him alive.
She doesn't say any of this though, because it's all just extra worry and impending deadlines. And because Glacius asks about her before she has a chance to try and explain.
Kate draws in a shaky breath. )
I... told you my brother was killed, aye?
( There's a pause that isn't long enough for Glacius to give an answer either way. )
I- They'd been fighting. Trying to stop The Agency and what we'd been doing. Fighting our colleagues. Their friends. I was too tired to care. Thought they were stupid for trying. Marc didn't.
( None of this would be coming out if it wasn't Glacius she was telling. Answers would have ranged from It's nothing, I'm fine, to a taciturn response that doesn't really explain what happened that night. )
It kept going. I left to find them. Realised I couldn't leave him - ( Or any of them ) - to fight alone. But I waited too long. They were exhausted. No one reacted quick enough when they cut his throat.
( She has to stop to swallow back a lump there. )
Faith was there. She heals more than any Superhuman out there. But she was just as tired. Couldn't let her do it - she'd have died and he might have anyway. Blamed herself for not trying anyway.
( All of which is to say that; )
Point is, I always thought the only thing worse than death were living without people you love. Everything happening to Carlisle making me think I'm wrong about that.
( And making her, perversely, glad Marc's dead. It sits unnaturally, painfully in her stomach to realise that. )
[Glacius listens to the story that he's heard bits and pieces of before gradually get put together, his expression gentle, but clearly affected.] And that is why you could not stand to wait in this regard. Not again, not after what happened the last time you risked inaction. [It explains a lot about her impulses, gives the alien the context he new he must be missing... and stands fit to break his hearts. Loss affects everyone in different ways; he's seen it in himself, when he had to kill Emily or when Kate was torn from this place... he's seen it in his partner, and now in his best friend, and he will likely see it many more times before his life reaches its end.]
I think... that there is a case to be made for both. And one of the worst things about one is that it will always engender the other—every death means that someone must live without one that they care about. We cannot always avoid it, but in this instance we have been given the chance to try. This attempt might have been misguided, but... I cannot blame you for it... and I am glad as ever that I have someone that wants to change things as badly as I do.
( She's quiet through all of it, barely moving, shoulders slumped over and head bowed. Just explaining that was exhausting, the weight of earlier arguments over the network only adding to how tired she feels.
They have to do something, somehow. But how do you even stand a chance to fight against something like that, which isn't physical at all? Which - until she started learning about Carlisle's condition - she didn't even think was real in the first place?
She huffs out a noise that almost sounds like a half-defeated laugh. )
Be easier if we could just fight it.
( She knows how to stop creatures, people who are attacking, even if she doesn't enjoy doing it. If it was a Null, or even the creatures from Sharon's hellscape of a world, it'd be easier. )
We are. [Glacius echoes the vocalization with a little empty chuckle of his own, knowing that's not what she meant.] Or perhaps you wish to get into fisticuffs with this problem? Ah, I wish it too. If it were something that could be physically defended from, I like to think that I would have defeated it soundly by now.
[The alien pauses, then extends a hand palm-up towards Kate; it's a little showing of support, one that gives her the option to reciprocate if she so desires, given that he knows they can both be adverse to physical contact. Glacius does not mind it so much if it's with someone he likes and trusts, but it's important that he always gives her a choice.] But no mistake, we will win. I refuse to believe otherwise.
( Fisticuffs. Her lips quirk upwards, though the overall effect is more bitter and resigned than anything else.
It would be so much easier. But when has anything in her life taken the easy path? )
We have to.
( It's the same logic she applies to dealing with The Null. They have to win, and they have to make it the only acceptable outcome if they want to keep fighting. )
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> action
... And you and I both agree that we will do whatever it takes to see that through. Still, we have to be careful and measured in our approach. I so desperately want to make things better for Carlisle too, but I... I cannot endanger him. [And making a phylactery certainly seems plenty dangerous. He knows Kate doesn't need to hear that, though; she doesn't need him to lecture her.]
> action
It's not- ( An exhale, a loud one. She'd hoped, when posting, that any price could be paid by her and Carlisle would reap the benefits. But that clearly isn't the case. She won't put him through something which sounds altogether worse than death, but they can't just give up, either. )
It's not like tears in someone's powers. Can't just... send him into surgery and have it be fine. ( Which is pissing her off more than anything. She can see this, but Carlisle's world and the things that occurred within it don't follow the same rules as hers. Her powers are likely nothing more than a HD viewing of her friend's slow death. )
> action
That's something he still needs to do here, he realizes.] That is how it works in your world? You can just... perform physical surgery to fix something like that? [The ice alien lets out a huff of disbelief.] I only wish it was so simple, here. Our answer will likely have to be something on the metaphysical level... he has responded well to my Mote, but it does not quite seem to be enough on its own.
> action
Can the multiverse give her that much? )
Powers, sure. As physical as anything else.
( If it was just Carlisle's power, she could probably help balance it, sustain it in some way, even without the surgery. But it's not. )
How the hell does anythin' even damage a soul, anyway?
( It's a mostly rhetorical question, but the concept of a soul to Kate has never been anything more than a vague wondering. A figure of speech or something from the kind of people who ramble about gods and...
Okay, so that last one is Carlisle, too. )
> action
[Of course, that too is something that Carlisle struggles with, though lately Glacius has also witnessed moments of great determination poking through the despair and worry. It is always heartening to see... but unfortunately it is not enough to sustain his partner from here on out.
As for Kate's more rhetorical inquiry, Glacius can only frown and shake his head.] I do not entirely understand it myself... I believe it happened when he suffered an injury that should have killed him, but that he was able to live through. How that physical wound someone became a metaphysical one is unclear to me... perhaps despite the talent of his healers, they weren't able to fully restore him.
But where they failed, we cannot. We will not. I believe there is a solution, and with your help, I know that we can find it. But we have to keep Carlisle appraised of our efforts. It is is his life... and thus, ultimately, his decision.
> action
Regardless, Glacius' answer to her venting actually... clears it up a little for Kate. Not that she can claim to be an expert on the idea, when she dismissed the idea of souls as vague nonsense for the majority of her life, but-
She grabs a pen and paper to scribble down a drawing that looks vaguely like Carlisle lying dead. Adds a blob above him, a soul flying out of his body. Essentially, as far as she understands it, he was killed, whatever happens to souls trying to get to the afterlife started happening, but didn't finish.
And now he's stuck between both states. And looking at a fate worse than death because people came too late. The thought is so eerily familiar that it makes her shudder with the realisation that it could have been worse for Marc. )
Don't think any healer could fix a soul leaving the body.
( They stopped Faith from healing Marc because she was so exhausted and he was so close to the edge that it would have made no difference. But if they did, if souls were anything more than vague garbage back home...
She's just. Going to be quiet for a while. This is all bringing up too many familiar things. )
> action
[A pause, as he notices Kate's shudder into silence; he knows here well enough to pick up when her being rendered wordless is actually saying a fair bit.] ... Are you all right, my friend? Has something occurred to you?
> action | TIME FOR MORE PAIN
She doesn't say any of this though, because it's all just extra worry and impending deadlines. And because Glacius asks about her before she has a chance to try and explain.
Kate draws in a shaky breath. )
I... told you my brother was killed, aye?
( There's a pause that isn't long enough for Glacius to give an answer either way. )
I- They'd been fighting. Trying to stop The Agency and what we'd been doing. Fighting our colleagues. Their friends. I was too tired to care. Thought they were stupid for trying. Marc didn't.
( None of this would be coming out if it wasn't Glacius she was telling. Answers would have ranged from It's nothing, I'm fine, to a taciturn response that doesn't really explain what happened that night. )
It kept going. I left to find them. Realised I couldn't leave him - ( Or any of them ) - to fight alone. But I waited too long. They were exhausted. No one reacted quick enough when they cut his throat.
( She has to stop to swallow back a lump there. )
Faith was there. She heals more than any Superhuman out there. But she was just as tired. Couldn't let her do it - she'd have died and he might have anyway. Blamed herself for not trying anyway.
( All of which is to say that; )
Point is, I always thought the only thing worse than death were living without people you love. Everything happening to Carlisle making me think I'm wrong about that.
( And making her, perversely, glad Marc's dead. It sits unnaturally, painfully in her stomach to realise that. )
;n; this poor sweet girl!
I think... that there is a case to be made for both. And one of the worst things about one is that it will always engender the other—every death means that someone must live without one that they care about. We cannot always avoid it, but in this instance we have been given the chance to try. This attempt might have been misguided, but... I cannot blame you for it... and I am glad as ever that I have someone that wants to change things as badly as I do.
sobs hello i exist i think??
They have to do something, somehow. But how do you even stand a chance to fight against something like that, which isn't physical at all? Which - until she started learning about Carlisle's condition - she didn't even think was real in the first place?
She huffs out a noise that almost sounds like a half-defeated laugh. )
Be easier if we could just fight it.
( She knows how to stop creatures, people who are attacking, even if she doesn't enjoy doing it. If it was a Null, or even the creatures from Sharon's hellscape of a world, it'd be easier. )
no subject
[The alien pauses, then extends a hand palm-up towards Kate; it's a little showing of support, one that gives her the option to reciprocate if she so desires, given that he knows they can both be adverse to physical contact. Glacius does not mind it so much if it's with someone he likes and trusts, but it's important that he always gives her a choice.] But no mistake, we will win. I refuse to believe otherwise.
no subject
It would be so much easier. But when has anything in her life taken the easy path? )
We have to.
( It's the same logic she applies to dealing with The Null. They have to win, and they have to make it the only acceptable outcome if they want to keep fighting. )