text

[evocation]

hey to all the new kids.
i'm kyna. i'm a wizard, which means i can use magic, and i've been offering lessons and shit.
i know half of you are going to start with that whole "but magic doesn't exist" stuff or "i can't do it" but i've got a 100% success rate, so save the negativity.
my thing is mostly evocation, which basically means i can set shit on fire or zap it, but i know a lot of defensive spells, too.
i'm not teaching anyone any necromancy or anything, so if you guys have more cool ideas to go lich or want to try some other stupid shit, find another teacher.
everyone else can step right up though.

p.s. don't vote for the ice planet

Comments

[text]

[lifetothefullest]

What if, hypothetically, you already voted for the ice planet.

[He's totally messing with her but he also totally voted for the ice planet.]

[evocation]

then you're hypothetically dead to me.

[lifetothefullest]

Wow, I'm hypothetically dead to a lot of people at this point.

[That was absolutely a morbid joke that's still vague enough to avoid suspicion.]

Besides, I'm not a big fan of waterworld but apparently everyone else thinks it's going to be great.

[evocation]

jesus

[She'd call him out on that, except she can't. What an asshole!]

if the water planet wins i'm pushing you into the ocean so i can see how much your hair will frizz up.

text

[proselytise]

i know you said you won't teach it but does that mean you know necromancy......

[lifetothefullest]

[Victory.]

Somehow I'm not convinced you could push me anywhere. Magic is cheating.

[evocation]

not really.
just a spell or two, and they're not the raising the dead soul stealing kind.
i just don't want anyone getting any ideas.

[evocation]

just because you're freakishly tall doesn't mean you're stronger than me.

[He's totally stronger than her.]

[lifetothefullest]

I don't have to be stronger, just heavier than forty pounds.

[Which, for the record, he is.]

[evocation]

are you saying i'm scrawny or something?

[text]

[tongueamok]

At least someone has their priorities in order when it comes to necromancy.

[lifetothefullest]

I didn't say anything like that, but it's interesting that you did.

[If this weren't text, he would totally be doing the exaggerated tv psychologist voice.]

[proselytise]

that's fair, alright

how do you teach something like that anyway?

[evocation]

i'm ready for my diagnosis, doc.

[evocation]

necromancy sucks
and anyone who says it doesn't is wrong

[tongueamok]

As someone whose homeland has been ravaged by necromancy for generations, I could not agree more. It is as much a plague upon the common folk as it is upon those who endeavor to practice such vile arts.

[lifetothefullest]

If you want a diagnosis that'll be like three hundred dollars. Or some food.

[evocation]

wtf are you going to use money for here?
but i can make you food

text;

[epsilol]

fuck the ice planet sideways
i'll pass on having frostbite for the rest of my fucking life

[lifetothefullest]

I have no idea. Kindling in case we do end up on tundra planet?

I'll always accept food, though.

[evocation]

dude, seriously.
and i don't want to deal with 1000% humidity in a gross ass jungle, either.

[evocation]

okay, then come over.
but i might poison it because you voted wrong.

[epsilol]

if life has taught me anything it's that bad shit happens in the snow
i don't give a shit where we end up as long as it doesn't involve ice

[lifetothefullest]

Fair enough, I'll take the chance.

[And he'll be there soon, knocking on her door. It's been surprisingly long since they've met up in person.]

[evocation]

what?
haven't you ever watched planet earth or whatever?
have you seen the fucking bugs they have in the jungle?
forget the null, those things will destroy us.