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[evocation]

hey to all the new kids.
i'm kyna. i'm a wizard, which means i can use magic, and i've been offering lessons and shit.
i know half of you are going to start with that whole "but magic doesn't exist" stuff or "i can't do it" but i've got a 100% success rate, so save the negativity.
my thing is mostly evocation, which basically means i can set shit on fire or zap it, but i know a lot of defensive spells, too.
i'm not teaching anyone any necromancy or anything, so if you guys have more cool ideas to go lich or want to try some other stupid shit, find another teacher.
everyone else can step right up though.

p.s. don't vote for the ice planet

Comments

text;

[epsilol]

fuck the ice planet sideways
i'll pass on having frostbite for the rest of my fucking life

[evocation]

dude, seriously.
and i don't want to deal with 1000% humidity in a gross ass jungle, either.

[epsilol]

if life has taught me anything it's that bad shit happens in the snow
i don't give a shit where we end up as long as it doesn't involve ice

[evocation]

what?
haven't you ever watched planet earth or whatever?
have you seen the fucking bugs they have in the jungle?
forget the null, those things will destroy us.

[epsilol]

i've never been to earth why the fuck would i watch a documentary about it?
and honestly if the bugs are gonna eat anyone it'll be tucker since he's stupid enough to sleep naked

[evocation]

that could apply to either tucker but i'm guessing you mean yours.
so if i run into a giant centipede are you cool with me pushing him in front of it?
and you watch planet earth because it's super chill, that's why.

[epsilol]

jesus christ is it like a universal constant that dudes named tucker sleep naked?
the universe is stupid

couldn't you just sacrifice wash?
dudes a cockroach he'd be fine taking on monsterpede

[evocation]

do i want to feed my boyfriend to a centipede?
wow, that's a hard question to answer
what do you think i'm going to say?

[epsilol]

did you miss the part about him being a cockroach?
he's literally been hit by a fucking truck and been fine
he'd just scream a bit and then stab it to death

[evocation]

dude, still.
wait, are you serious?

[epsilol]

about which part?

[evocation]

about the truck thing
and kind of about the screaming thing

[She's only heard Wash get screechy once, unfortunately.]

[epsilol]

totally serious on all counts
the reds kind of ran him over when he was being a dick

[evocation]

oh
yeah, i guess there are a lot of stories like that.

[Oh, Wash.]

does he scream a lot or something?

[epsilol]

just ask him about his relationship with cars sometime

and his screaming is memorable
just wait till someone makes him shrieky

[evocation]

i heard it once
it was pretty awesome.

[epsilol]

give it time
someone in this house will drag it out of him again

[evocation]

probably tucker.
what's his issue with clothes, anyway?

[epsilol]

i think he likes to let his junk breathe or something like that

[evocation]

wtf gross
maybe if you guys didn't all live in your armor he wouldn't have to worry about that.

[epsilol]

it's tucker
he's gross
you get used to it

i'm sorry

[evocation]

don't your suits have little dick fans or something?
they should

no you're not :|

[epsilol]

sounds like a fast way to get your dick mauled by a fan
also i fucking hate you for making me read those words in that order

i'm def not

[evocation]

there could be a cage thing like on normal fans
not just a bunch of razor blades next to your ding a ling.

[epsilol]

you've seen the suits we wear, right?
it's not like there's space in there to just shove a fucking fan down your crotch