[Video] [Filtered from Lup Taaco]

[barold]

[There's a fidgety middle-aged man on your screens, a bespectacled man who looks like he has absolutely no clue what he's doing. Evidenced by the fact that only about half of his face is even in frame.]

Hello. Uh, no that's... G-Greetings! No that's worse...

[He sighs.]

Okay. Say that you, uh... completely hypothetically... haven't really seen your significant other in a while. Couple months. 'Cause of somethin' you did. Hy-Hypothetically. And you're hypothetically lookin' to get'em a little somethin' now that you're uh, back together again. Just a little present, like, nothin' special, j-just somethin' nice t'show y'love'em.

Your hypothetical significant other also already has everythin'. And they're magic.

[Barry hasn't gotten any answers yet, and he already looks demoralized.]

Any suggestions would be appreciated. Uh. Thanks for yer time. How do I make it stop record--

Comments

[barold]

Uhhh.

[that's easy??]

Well... Say that, hypothetically, you've been married for uh... sixty-some years, and you're both, hypothetically, bound for eternity by a pact of immortality. [It sounds weird when he says it out loud.] Then whaddya get'em?

[unnature]

[That gives her pause. She gives a little nervous laugh.]

Well. Is that all?

[Gods. People go hard here.]

I don't know, a divorce? That's a long fucking time to be married to someone and not know what to get them as a "sorry I cheated on you" or whatever.

[barold]

First off, [he says emphatically,] it's not a "sorry I cheated on you" or whatever. Let's get that clear right off th'bat.

[Barry might be bristling a little. He's already humiliated enough putting himself out there sincerely asking for help, he doesn't need this.]

If I coulda thought of somethin' good enough myself, I wouldn't've asked.

[unnature]

[Avisheh rolls her eyes.]

Alright, well, full disclosure: I've never been married, nor have I been in a serious relationship for that matter, but from what I hear married couples tend not to so much have "date nights" or whatever? Wine and dine them, I guess.

Gifts are whatever, if they already have everything then they don't need anything. Forcing it will be obvious. Gifts are meant to be thoughtful, not excruciating.

That's some legitimate advice I've actually put some thought into, so you're welcome.