[Video] [Filtered from Lup Taaco]

[barold]

[There's a fidgety middle-aged man on your screens, a bespectacled man who looks like he has absolutely no clue what he's doing. Evidenced by the fact that only about half of his face is even in frame.]

Hello. Uh, no that's... G-Greetings! No that's worse...

[He sighs.]

Okay. Say that you, uh... completely hypothetically... haven't really seen your significant other in a while. Couple months. 'Cause of somethin' you did. Hy-Hypothetically. And you're hypothetically lookin' to get'em a little somethin' now that you're uh, back together again. Just a little present, like, nothin' special, j-just somethin' nice t'show y'love'em.

Your hypothetical significant other also already has everythin'. And they're magic.

[Barry hasn't gotten any answers yet, and he already looks demoralized.]

Any suggestions would be appreciated. Uh. Thanks for yer time. How do I make it stop record--

Comments

Video

[dreamsallotted]

[There's a very amused person on the other end, maybe male, maybe female. Hard to tell. Seel's arms are crossed in front of him.]

Yourself wrapped in a bow.

[video]

[pocketspa]

I can put a bow on your dick and get Angus out of the house for a few hours Barry, all you have to do is fuckin' ask.

[He doesn't even flinch at that sentence. Get with the program, Barry.]

[barold]

[Barry chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck. There's a flush of pink over his cheeks already.]

That's-- Th-Thank you for th'nice suggestion, but I was thinkin' somethin' a little more... [He looks himself over, sheepishly.] Li'l more pocket-sized.

[pRIVATE VIDEO]

[barold]

[There's a sudden sound from Barry then - like he choked on spit or air or his dignity - and while his face is beet red, he hurries to tap the little icon that privates his conversation with Taako.]

Taako that's completely inappropriate in a public forum. [It's hissed in a single breath. Barry's buttons are so huge and easy to press, he wonders how it's even fun anymore.]

If yer not gonna take this seriously, I don't want yer help!

[dreamsallotted]

Your loss.

[Seel thought about it, trying to imagine what he might give Swift.]

It's not always about the gift itself. Is there anything that they want that they can't necessary get? Even though they're magic? Like a day to themselves? A quiet dinner?

Hypothetically. You know.

[Yeah Seel's not falling for your shit.]

private video;

[nonscriptum]

[Oh, boy.

Nate wouldn't consider this his area of expertise by any stretch of the imagination, in the sense that he doesn't always know where to start reparations. Fuck everything up? Sure. Panic at the thought of commitment and not-so-gently swerve away from the girl you're dating by leaving the country? Got it. Get cold feet and walk away from your marriage and pray your significant other doesn't serve you with papers? Definitely.

Fixing things?]

Jesus.

[Having never met the guy on the line Nate can only sympathize in every respect. He has a few ideas, just give him a moment, he's processing the timeline of his own screw-ups and looking for things he might have done right.]

I don't wanna pry too far, buddy, but can you tell me who you're with?

video;

[braveoff]

[ Barry. Barry please. Drake is already grinning in the video feed, because he did know they were back together but this is sort of adorably inept. How long have you guys been married? Come on.

But he came up against the same problem when trying to figure out what to get Lup for her birthday, so. ]

I know it sounds like the others are joking about the bow, but you is really all she wants, buddy. You're probably better off with a gesture than a gift. Do something for her, make a nice new memory to make up for the slip.

video;

[storyseeker]

[Okay. This is going to be graphic, but if he's really looking for advice, he should be prepared for that.]

I'd say you should go down like a rock off a cliff, but if you aren't already, you're probably past hope.

video

[sciencelizard]

[At least unlike most people on this hellthread, Alphys isn't here to give The Sex Answer. She also has the benefit of knowing Lup semi-well, so she's trying to put some thought in.]

Well, uh-- gosh, that is sort of hard. Maybe like... if she already has a lot of stuff, you can find something really sweet to do together! Or even m-make something together that she can keep.

[unnature]

[What do people who actually date others and don't just FWB or one night stand them do...]

That's easy. Just save their life. They'll be indebted to you forever, and all the rest is just water under the bridge.

[IS SHE JOKING? Maybe. This is hilarious, okay.]

video

[faithliss]

[ Faith is only a little annoyed at the replies to this particular post, her nose wrinkling at the suggestions. Love can be shown in more ways than the sexual (but this is coming from a young woman with a fair amount of hangups in that department). ]

You could cook them a meal. It may be a simple gesture but I think it's one of the sweetest. [ Don't people show love through such means? A homecooked meal, an extra hour in bed, an evening of quiet in one another's company; those are gifts that many don't consider when it comes to their significant other. ]

[Audio]

[drabsolutelynot]

Perhaps a thoughtful note demonstrating your affection for them?

text

[abyssalarcana]

something with a personal touch! the heads of her enemies is always a thoughtful one.

Text

[murderpotato]

if you dont know what your own fuckin wife would want then there aint shit that anybody could say that would help you

but you fuck this up again and there aint gonna be enough of you left for these asshole gods to fuckin bring back

we real fuckin clear?

anon text

[abbatis]

you shouldn't need to get them a present if they're your significant other.

They should know about your love even without it.

text.

[puzzlingly]

「That is... actually one of best answer he's seen here... huh.」

touche

video

[outofthefire]

I'm gonna have to second all the other people here and say you. That's what she wants, just you.

[barold]

[At least the stranger on the horn was kind enough to private their conversation. Barry tries to get comfortable on his end.]

Uh... Sure, bud. 'M not sure if y'know Lup? Lup Taaco?

[He gestures, his hand about a foot over his own head.] About yea high, dark, blonde, beautiful. Elf, pointy ears. Got a twin brother.

[It honestly wouldn't surprise him if this man knows Lup - as far as he knows, she's befriended half the city at this point.]

She's th'one.

[barold]

['Adorably inept' is one of the more charitable ways Barry Bluejeans has been described, honestly.

Barry sighs, nodding softly at the young man's suggestion.]

Y'have a point... Gifts are just... easier, y'know? I mean, you know her. She's real tactile.

[barold]

[sweet merciful Pan. Lup's friends go hard.]

That's--!

[Nope. Not gonna let her get to him. Taako has already humiliated him - he should've seen this coming when he took this to a public space.]

That's not quite what I was thinkin', Elena. But thank you for yer contribution.

[barold]

[Bless Alphys. Bless her and her kind, gentle soul. Barry smiles, relieved.]

Y'know, that's a real good idea, Doc. Thank you. [like, yeah, actually thank you for this] Any idea what we could make together? I don't think either of us are much for craftin'.

[braveoff]

[ Well it's a little less adorable with that comment. Drake looks vaguely displeased. ]

Yeah, I know her pretty well, and Barry? You should not be looking for "easier" right now. You should be really sitting down and thinking about something she'd appreciate from you, whether it's an item or action, because it means something. Not because it's shiny.

There are other "tactile" suggestions here, for later.

[barold]

Uhhh.

[that's easy??]

Well... Say that, hypothetically, you've been married for uh... sixty-some years, and you're both, hypothetically, bound for eternity by a pact of immortality. [It sounds weird when he says it out loud.] Then whaddya get'em?

[barold]

That's a good idea! Thank you, ma'am.

[Finally, someone here gets it!] Any particular recipes y'have in mind? She's the chef around here so I uh, I'd wanna try somethin' she wouldn't expect.

... Hypothetically.

[audio]

[barold]

Hmm... Y'thinkin' like a letter? Or a poem or somethin'?