hadriel | [video] You only THINK I guessed wrong!

I fell victim to one of the classic blunders- do I seriously have to read this?

[You may recognize the guy on your screen as local parkour enthusiast and history nerd Nathan Drake. What he is wearing, however, differs so resolutely from his typical "jeans and a Henley" aesthetic that the broadcast appears to be hosted by a man whose sartorial sensibilities make him look like the quintessential Harvard professor: tweed vest, bow tie and all.

He gives a pleading expression to someone out of frame, who appears to have no mercy. Nate takes a fortifying breath and continues his recitation with approximately zero enthusiasm.]

...the most famous of which is "never get involved in a land war in Asia" - but only slightly less well-known is this: "never challenge an FBI psychologist to deliver a line with a straight face."

[He looks directly at the camera, then at the figure behind the camera, and mimes a finger slicing across his neck at the figure in question with a mouthed I'm going to kill you.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Perhaps somewhat petulantly, Nate crumples his script up and lobs it at Lance. When it falls short of its goal he shifts uncomfortably in place, fidgeting with the tie.]

You're a monster.

[Lance just... Watches the sad flight of the paper before looking back at Nate, utterly pleased with himself.]

Yeah, so I've been told.

[He doesn't look even slightly bothered by this.]

I am amazed you can't tie a tie correctly, by the way.

[Stop looking at him like that.]

I'm not a tie person,

[defends the man who generally has to have his ties straightened by his wife, and under formal circumstances until he was twenty-four had to have the damn thing adjusted by his older brother.]

It's like wearing a small noose. Why do people do this?

[He will never stop.]

Do you want the complicated answer or the simple one?

Don't give me a thesis, professor.

[Comes the less-than-scathing reply, the sentiment of which is weakened by merit of Nate's tacit acknowledgement that the Formal Job life was never for him. It all started with his First Communion at the orphanage wearing a too-large tie, and went downhill from there.]

Just- fix it. Please.

[Lance just rolls his eyes, though he's still smiling as he moves to help with the tie.]

People do it because it's considered a sign of class, and it's a sign of class because it's annoying and no one else would ever do it otherwise. If formalwear was comfortable enough to wear every day, it would kind of lose the effect.

Pretty sure that's not actually why.

[Nate points out helpfully, trying to stay still as Lance tidies his otherwise disaster-ridden attire.]

But then, I don't wear suits every day.

Yeah, and why don't you?

[Lance finishes fixing the tie, stepping back to admire the effect.]

It does look surprisingly fitting. You could give an archeology lecture or something.

Because I'm usually wearing a scuba suit?

[Not that he doesn't think a regular suit and tie would actually work under a dry suit similar to the one he throws on every time he dives in the Mississippi, but it seems kind of stupid to dress up for the few hours he actually spends behind a desk at the salvage company.

Nate fidgets with the vest.]

You know I wasn't fucking with you when I said I did salvage. It's pretty blue collar.

Yes, and most people have jobs that would be impractical to wear a suit to, and so they end up reserved for formal situations.

[And that said, Lance pulls out his phone to begin glancing through other conversations on this post while he responds.]

I knew you weren't lying about your job, just that there was more to the story than that.

[Meanwhile, Nate attempts to surreptitiously move closer so he can steal Lance's phone. One would think that being the impetus for his embarrassment is enough.

Apparently not.]

Next time just ask for my résumé.

That wouldn't be as challenging. Also, you reach for my phone and you're getting zapped.

[He's still an FBI agent, okay, it's hard to sneak up on him when he's turned the correct direction, even if his gaze is still fixed on his phone.]

That hurts.

[Caught out, he makes a play for being offended instead of taking it in stride and admitting to an embarrassing attempt at circumnavigating his current situation.]

Haven't you done enough?

[Lance smirks to himself a little at that response, still staring at his phone.]

I'm not going to do anything else. I'm just enjoying the fallout.

[Smugness is unbecoming, doctor.]

So take a picture, it'll last longer.

[Lance glances up from his phone, but doesn't raise his head to do so and therefore just looks even more smug.]

All of these messages will last just as long. And the video conversations are in motion.

[video] You only THINK I guessed wrong!

[action]

[action]

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject