hadriel | [video] You only THINK I guessed wrong!

I fell victim to one of the classic blunders- do I seriously have to read this?

[You may recognize the guy on your screen as local parkour enthusiast and history nerd Nathan Drake. What he is wearing, however, differs so resolutely from his typical "jeans and a Henley" aesthetic that the broadcast appears to be hosted by a man whose sartorial sensibilities make him look like the quintessential Harvard professor: tweed vest, bow tie and all.

He gives a pleading expression to someone out of frame, who appears to have no mercy. Nate takes a fortifying breath and continues his recitation with approximately zero enthusiasm.]

...the most famous of which is "never get involved in a land war in Asia" - but only slightly less well-known is this: "never challenge an FBI psychologist to deliver a line with a straight face."

[He looks directly at the camera, then at the figure behind the camera, and mimes a finger slicing across his neck at the figure in question with a mouthed I'm going to kill you.]

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[He's still giggling. It's cute how you think he'll do something you told him to do, Nate. Adorable.]

Puh-leeze flex that until the seams pop later. It would be amazing.

[He makes a voice like a fake old timey radio announcer.]

Watch as archaeology man transforms before your very eyes!

[To his credit, Nate is being an exceptionally good sport about this. It's hard not to smile a little bit at Taako's impression of a 1950s radio disc-jockey.]

You just want to watch the buttons fly everywhere. I know how you work.

[His grin only goes wider as he sees the humor on Nate's face. See, there we go. No point in setting up a grand conversation dance when your partner isn't down for the tango.]

Listen, it would be absolutely hilarious for anyone involved. Though I guess it would be some kinda crime to see a nice piece of clothing destroyed. Y'ever think about getting something nice tailored? Actually look like you fit in a shirt instead of getting one two sizes low so everyone can see the outline of your pecs on a humid day?

[Fabric stretched beyond its wearable capacity? Buttons scattering hither and yon? Seems kind of dangerous, someone might get blinded when one of them flies across the room at Mach 3.

The last "nice" thing he got tailored was the tuxedo he wore to his own wedding, and it hasn't been worn since. Nate has a tendency to destroy his clothing with surprising efficiency. He does scoff at the suggestion, however, gesturing to his face.]

Wow. My eyes are up here, you know.

[He snorts.]

So-rry, hard to tell your pupils from your nipples in that thing.

[Jesus Taako this is harassment.]

You don't have even ONE nice thing to get all dressed up in. Not one.

[Why are you the way that you are.]

Not here, no. [Nate says defensively, crossing his arms over his tweedy chest.] I'm always active so I just wear what I wear at home.

[It's all he has to hold in his giggles, but he gets himself back to the topic at hand.]

I mean, yeah, but you've been here like a year my man. Nothing that isn't totally covered in dirt? Jeez.

[A pause while he grins.]

I could help you with that. No like, I just wanna see your pecs or whatever, seriously. You gotta dress up sometime.

[He frowns a little, because only a couple of his shirts here are reasonably dirty, but he understands that Taako's exacting standards are probably vastly different from his own when it comes to dressing up (or down, for that matter).

Nate raises a judgmental eyebrow.]

Taako, if I let you dress me, you'd put me in a crop top.

[Hey, he spent 10 years in a world primarily without indoor plumbing in most places, ok, you CAN not be a total schlub. He laughs at the comment through, still grinning.]

I mean, yeah, but like-- a variety, my man. No well cut jackets? Stylish pants? You need a whole look, not just somethin' tight on the pecs.

[Do you see these abs? Do these look like schlub abs to you???]

Well...maybe you can help me look around the shops sometime.

[Seeing as he lived an early life fraught with hand-me-downs, Nate has never been inclined to spend a lot of money on a lavish wardrobe. Serviceable things, useful things - those are his priority.]

[Then stop dressing like one, sclub boy!!!]

You know it babe. We'll get you lookin' nice.

[He fully intends to burn some spell slots on this. Not because he like, likes Nate or anything, that would be so fake, shut up.]

Good luck getting out of that outfit later, provided it hasn't, uh, totally fused into your skin by that point.

[In spite of the tremendously massive roll of his eyes, Nate does cough out something that sounds like a laugh.]

Oh, my God. Fuck off.

[He bursts into another round of laughter, holding on to his head a bit, and then decides that's the best outro he could think of and cuts the feed.]

[video] You only THINK I guessed wrong!

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