[video] You only THINK I guessed wrong!

[nonscriptum]

I fell victim to one of the classic blunders- do I seriously have to read this?

[You may recognize the guy on your screen as local parkour enthusiast and history nerd Nathan Drake. What he is wearing, however, differs so resolutely from his typical "jeans and a Henley" aesthetic that the broadcast appears to be hosted by a man whose sartorial sensibilities make him look like the quintessential Harvard professor: tweed vest, bow tie and all.

He gives a pleading expression to someone out of frame, who appears to have no mercy. Nate takes a fortifying breath and continues his recitation with approximately zero enthusiasm.]

...the most famous of which is "never get involved in a land war in Asia" - but only slightly less well-known is this: "never challenge an FBI psychologist to deliver a line with a straight face."

[He looks directly at the camera, then at the figure behind the camera, and mimes a finger slicing across his neck at the figure in question with a mouthed I'm going to kill you.]

Comments

[nonscriptum]

[Don't let your dreams be dreams, you should see how gangly Nate used to be!

He whistles in appreciation. Montana sounds fucking awesome and at this point, Nate would kill to see an environment a little more varied than "something that looks like the Hebrides." It might not be so bad if it didn't feel like an extension of where he was back home before he showed up.]

I lived in New Orleans before...this. People watching's definitely declined.

[theweakhavepurpose]

Is New Orleans really the way the commercials make it out to be? Party all the time and buckets of great food? No inhibitions and all that?

This has gotta be depressing after being there.

[What he means but is not asking is: do women flash their tits at you constantly? Because that sounds amazing.]

[nonscriptum]

The commercials make the whole city look like Bourbon Street.

[Nate offers half a grimace, because the assessment isn't altogether great and neither is the reputation, but there are more than enough good things to outweigh the frighteningly drunken.]

Food's amazing if you like things spicy, it's warm year-round but some people think it's pretty unbearable in the summer. [Nathan Drake, a man who thrives in jungle-like climes, is not bothered.] It's got everything, though. Architecture, history...Kind of cool to walk downtown and hear live music from every corner.

[His priorities are clearly less tit-inclined.]

[theweakhavepurpose]

[Yes the... architecture. That's definitely what he meant. He gives Nathan an "Are you fucking serious?" look, but he's not gonna comment because he met this guy three minutes ago.]

I'm not sure if I like spicy food. There isn't a lot of it around. Montana isn't really known for it's cuisine.

[Ask him about the Testy Festy, you know you wanna.]

Sounds entertaining at least.

[IN SOME WAYS MORE THAN OTHERS NATE. NON-ARCHITECTURAL WAYS.]

[nonscriptum]

[It is Pratt's slightly-awkward tone that has Nate wondering whether he had misstepped somewhere, or said something wrong, but he realizes (too little, too late) that the guy had probably been hoping for a better description of New Orleans' bawdier scene.]

...you just wanted to know about Mardi Gras, didn't you?

[theweakhavepurpose]

Sorta.

Foods good too though, I guess.

[Except the idea of eating food for fun makes him want to hurl. It's amazing how all your tastes can change when you've been fed your dead friends. ]

Admittedly I don't know anything else about the place.

[He found it rated highly on a list of "Best places to go to see topless women" right under Cabo.]

[nonscriptum]

It's...very European? French and Creole languages are still spoken there.

[Which he can understand well enough and sometimes communicate in, just not with an especially talented accent. The patois languages that combine Spanish come easier to him.]

We moved there when I was trying to find a new job after I left the old one.

[Or...slowly made the transition from the old one, anyway.]

[theweakhavepurpose]

[Okay he has no idea what 'european' means. He's starting to get the sense he's not going to get any info about potential spank bank material out of Nate. Moving on.]

And into your new job as a librarian from the 1920's?

[nonscriptum]

[They are not nearly close enough yet for Nate to tell Pratt about hot babes and/or his sex life. He does laugh - a little deprecating, but fair - at the accusation.]

Ha ha, cute. I do marine salvage.

[It used to be less-than-legal, but he's got a wife and a house now.]

[theweakhavepurpose]

For sunken ships and stuff? That.. actually sounds really awesome.

[Good thing you didn't mention the less than legal cuz...]

It doesn't look like it when I'm wearing this horrible thing, but I'm a Deputy. Deputy Pratt of Hope County, Montana.

Not that it means much here.

[He shrugs, maybe he can use his shiny badge to start a fire or something.]

[nonscriptum]

Ships, cargo, you name it.

[A year ago Nate might have had more reservations about sharing his former profession with others - particularly those in the law enforcement sector - but even if they did take umbrage, what would they do to him? What could they do to him? Pratt looks about as intimidating as a baguette.]

But yeah, probably doesn't.

[Which isn't to say that Nate hasn't vastly underestimated people in the past, but Pratt doesn't come across as someone with a whole lot of power under the surface. Everybody's got secrets, but the guy seems pretty forthright.]

If you wanted a similar job, guess you could always join the Guard.

[theweakhavepurpose]

[ He is at least a croissant.]

Nah, there's plenty of people better suited for it than me. People here who can fly, people far stronger than I'll ever be.

I don't plan on being here that long anyway. Though I suppose everyone says that, as if I have any say in the matter.