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[completelycrazy]

Hey, everybody. I'm Newt, if you're new here. Welcome aboard, I guess. I've been studying the monsters coming in through the Door every month. Hope sort of messed up my plans and all given that he eliminated, like, the entire monster population a few months back, but the bestiary's ready for it's public debut now. So, uh, here!

[He attaches a file.]

I nixed all the monsters that were in the caves and crap before I got here. Didn't see the point in including 'em since my research was, uh, limited. They're gone now, anyway. Some quote-unquote extinct monsters are still on the list, but only if I was able to really spend some time with them. I haven't gotten down to the coliseum to check out the new arrivals yet, but everything else that's currently in town is on the list.

[He's... pretty sure? It'd be tough to miss anything these days, what with the islands and all.]

Anyway, if anyone has biology experience—I'm talking, like, hands-on lab work, people—I do my research down at the lab. I'm also never gonna turn down a, uh, fresh or well-preserved monster specimen. Living is cool if it's something that's, y'know... Manageable. Can fit in a bedroom, or I guess a now-empty paddock outside that I used to keep the death worms in. Nothing too deadly, okay? Thanks.

Comments

[survivethis]

Uh...

[Guess she's on the spot.]

Barker. Brancher? Mons..tree?

[Is he buying any of those?]

[completelycrazy]

[Well, "monstree" does get a laugh out of him, at least.]

The first two don't make any sense, and the last one isn't any better than "evil tree".

[survivethis]

They make perfect sense!

Trees have bark and branches. And the last one is at least one word instead of two. When communicating with others about danger, you should be as quick as possible.

[But the names are hardly inventive. Then again, it wasn't a stroke of genius calling a creature a long tongue a Licker, either, but in the field it works.]

[completelycrazy]

You really think one syllable is going to make a difference? Look, thanks for the suggestions, but I'm gonna stick with my long and descriptive names.

[survivethis]

You'd be surprised at how little time it takes for someone to get killed.

[Jill's been on one end of a walkie with a person, only to have them gone mid-sentence. Things can happen fast.]

But fine, have it your way.

[completelycrazy]

Uh... I guess? Still not sure how one syllable would make any difference. Like, if all they have is that fraction of a second, they're probably goners anyway.

[He's no soldier, but that seems logical?]

[survivethis]

[What was meant as a joke to begin with was turning into a debate, and Jill wasn't sure he got the joke at all at this point.]

Uh.. nevermind.

[It's not really important, of course.]