☢ audio

[completelycrazy]

Hey, everybody. I'm Newt, if you're new here. Welcome aboard, I guess. I've been studying the monsters coming in through the Door every month. Hope sort of messed up my plans and all given that he eliminated, like, the entire monster population a few months back, but the bestiary's ready for it's public debut now. So, uh, here!

[He attaches a file.]

I nixed all the monsters that were in the caves and crap before I got here. Didn't see the point in including 'em since my research was, uh, limited. They're gone now, anyway. Some quote-unquote extinct monsters are still on the list, but only if I was able to really spend some time with them. I haven't gotten down to the coliseum to check out the new arrivals yet, but everything else that's currently in town is on the list.

[He's... pretty sure? It'd be tough to miss anything these days, what with the islands and all.]

Anyway, if anyone has biology experience—I'm talking, like, hands-on lab work, people—I do my research down at the lab. I'm also never gonna turn down a, uh, fresh or well-preserved monster specimen. Living is cool if it's something that's, y'know... Manageable. Can fit in a bedroom, or I guess a now-empty paddock outside that I used to keep the death worms in. Nothing too deadly, okay? Thanks.

Comments

[Audio]

[bespectacledsnake]

...a bedroom?

[completelycrazy]

[A BIG SCOFF.]

I can hear that look you're giving me in spirit. Calm down, dude. I have some free space in the monster room, and we have, like, a whole fourth bedroom that has since gone untouched.

[bespectacledsnake]

Just wanted to clarify.

I still have to tag you back in our other thread this is audio

[demonsional]

Yes!

[It's a helpful and encouraging response! You're welcome!]

[completelycrazy]

...Wh— Yes to what?

audio

[64th]

Those "mimic birds" [ yeah, you can hear the air quotes. ] are from Panem. We call them Jabberjays. They're mutts. The Capitol made them.

PRAISE

[completelycrazy]

Oh. Really?

[brb making some adjustments.]

I mean, in fairness, I don't see how I could've known that. What do you mean the Capitol made them? Like, genetic engineering?

Audio

[itsnotaonesie]

I am so reading this later.

Hey so this month there's giant fleas? They're really cool, except that metal stuff gets all rusted if the fleas get too close to it. I don't know where you would want to keep something that ruins metal, but I can totally get you one if you want.

[completelycrazy]

Whoa. Neat.

[It's sincere. He's already brainstorming options for giant corrosive flea housing though, so he's also a little distracted.]

Hm... How giant are we talking? And how aggressive are they? I think I can pilfer enough wood from the ruins and stuff to make this work, maybe.

[audio]

[blazingsword]

Useful, thanks.

I'll see what I can do for catching one of the things that was there when I arrived.

[completelycrazy]

Those giant fleas that corrode metal, right? Do you know if they do damage to other types of material?

[text]

[aroundthecoroner]

Don't tell people I'll put anything in my mouth.
That sounds bad.

text

[completelycrazy]

Have you instead considered not putting anything in your mouth?

Video

[survivethis]

Evil tree, huh? We couldn't come up with a better name for it?

[Jill is only teasing.]

I guess it's pretty bad when even the plants are out to get you.

audio

[completelycrazy]

Look, I could make up cool names for everything on the list, but I figure clarity is better in the long run.

[Newt should not be in charge of naming anything though.]

Those are the only monster plants I've come across, at least.

[Audio]

[theweakhavepurpose]

You ate the kabutops?

[completelycrazy]

Well, I didn't. One of my interns did.

[They're all interns now.]

Text

[bitemefightme]

And what do we get out of it? Bringing you monster things?

text

[completelycrazy]

Uh you get a fun challenge and the sanctification of contributing to a community resource.

video!

[hellosirs]

[ Newt has intrigued +1 tiny nerd! ]

I remember some of these! This is a fascinating read, sir, thank you for compiling it!

audio

[completelycrazy]

[NICE.]

Hah, thanks, little dude. You spend a lot of time around the coliseum?

[audio]

[sciencelizard]

[It's been difficult not to like, trip over these things around the lab, but. He's been so proud of it, so she endures. Plus, studying the monsters was never her forte, so it's good someone's handling it.]

So, uh-- n-none of them ate each other recently? It sounds like it's going well!

[completelycrazy]

[Newt will forever secretly appreciate that Alphys tolerates him way more than Hermann ever does. Did.]

Hey, thanks. It is. The mimic and the salamanders don't seem all the interested in each other, thankfully. How's your Door-studying going?

[Video]

[imhisaunt]

Death worm....evil tree.....

[Delmar frowns, fretting]

Surely they would like to have nicer names than that.... how about, um, BIG worm...or....or strong tree?

audio

[completelycrazy]

[..........]

Why give them "nice" names? Nothing that comes through the Door is ever "nice".