hadriel | 002 [Video]

[Aside from having a new--or maybe not new, but different--hat that may have suffered a little bedazzling, Connor looks pretty much the same as last time he spoke on the network. He has something somewhat less abstract to talk about this time, but it's even more serious.]

Although the Clinic is well-suited to the needs of many here, and that's a great accomplishment in this situation, it's unable to provide assistance to a portion of the population that needs non-standard medical treatment.

[Mostly, as far as he knows, that's a problem for individuals who might be mechanically-based, although he isn't ruling out that there might be other types of beings he doesn't know about who also can't be helped with standard medical treatment. So he's being general right now, trying to account for everyone, which also helps in keeping things vague as far as individual people and what they might need.]

Because worlds vary, finding those with the skills they need to help these people might be difficult, but at the very least we can make sure those who can't go to the Clinic have the basic supplies necessary to take care of themselves. But again, because worlds vary, we won't know what all those supplies are unless we compile a list. I know there's an option on these phones to hold private conversations, if anyone may be concerned about giving specifics information about themselves, so supplies on the list can be added mostly anonymously.

[With any luck that means he can add some things to the list himself and no one will know who they're for. He'd like to avoid ending up in a situation in which he bleeds to death from an otherwise treatable injury just because there's no thirium available here.]

Additionally, since necessary items are likely to require making arrangements with the gods, if anyone is willing to help with that please let me know.

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[Connor wasn't actually bothered too much by the event; it was inconvenient and he disliked being separated from the few people he actually cares about here, but it didn't have a strong emotional impact on him.

But he still feels some genuine sympathy at Drake's admission, because he can imagine how the event might've been worse for some people.]

I'm sorry to hear that. What happened?

[ This is where things get dicey. Talking about his... condition. He's gotten it down pretty well, though, so it should be safe enough even though he doesn't really know Connor yet. ]

I've got a medical condition that Hope supplies me a treatment for. When he disappeared with the others, I ran out, and it came back.

[That sounds reasonable enough, and if Drake doesn't want to extrapolate further Connor wouldn't think to question him about it, at least aside from--]

Are you okay now?

[ The best case scenario is when someone doesn't push, so this works just fine for Drake. He nods at the question. ]

Yeah. A friend went and picked it up right away when everything went back to normal, and I'm fine now. Just not happy about the fact that they'd risk a life for a trick... Fear was the one who wanted power, sure, but Hope went along with it when it would've been more work for him. I know Fear used to do some seriously fucked up shit back at the start of it all when they were desperate, but in the year I've been here it hasn't seemed as malicious as those stories?

[ He shrugs. ]

I don't know. Another reminder they don't care about us, I guess.

[Well, it's good to hear he's fine now, but the rest of that is... Kind of surprising, after all the responses Connor's been getting about giving the gods a chance and how they shouldn't be blamed for what they're doing. It's a nice change, and since this conversation is private, he decides to go ahead and say--]

Many here seem willing to ignore that.

I mean...

[ God (haha), this is complicated. Drake seems to be puzzling through his phrasing before he speaks again, at which point he's completely honest. ]

So was I, honestly. They need to survive, too, about half of them actually did seem to give a shit, and nothing they've done since I've been here seemed designed to actively harm us. Just engineer the situation to get a specific emotion out of us because they need to eat. They need power to keep us alive, to protect us, and to keep moving the city. They let us have input on the major decisions, and if we want something we can make a deal for it even if it's frivolous. I also got here about when the Null showed themselves, and survived that attack, and... they're a serious threat. I get it, the desperation. So I've been really working with them, giving even the less endearing ones the benefit of the doubt for a year now.

I guess this really hit a nerve, you know? Or maybe I'm just tired, after a year of manipulation and losing almost everyone I care about because this has been going on way longer than I've been around and they still don't know the first thing about how we're brought here or sent home.

...sorry, this is the second conversation I've had where I make this place sound miserable. It's usually not so... I'm usually more chill than this. The first guy I met here told me there was a difference between living in shit and living under a boot, and compared to my situation at home this felt like the former. But lately it's more like the latter.

[ Drake eases back a little, realizing he's tensed up during that mini-rant. Which was delivered very calmly, but he does need to find some way to unwind right now. Shit's grating on him. ]

Edited 2018-09-05 22:10 (UTC)

[Well that was quite the small rant, though Connor isn't really judging; he'd done something similar during a talk with Rose about a month ago, so this is one of those emotional things he actually gets on a personal level as opposed to from his social relations program. Sometimes things just build up.

So he doesn't lecture Drake about how emotional manipulation is still harmful--especially for people who might be very susceptible to it, like deviant androids--and how he really doesn't care that they're doing it to survive, because that doesn't justify it. There's no need to go into that, especially since Connor does have a strong sense of empathy when he decides to listen to it, and he can feel this is all a lot for Drake at the moment and there's no reason to make him feel any worse.]

It's okay.

[He doesn't mind the ranting or making this place sound terrible; this place is terrible, and Connor doesn't thing pretending otherwise helps anyone. He isn't willing to go into explaining how and why he understands the feeling of being manipulated and mistreated so well, but he can still offer some sympathy without giving too much away.]

Even if you're understanding about the gods' situation, that doesn't make dealing with what happens here any easier.

[ Objectively, Drake would recognize those points. But the fact is he's been here a year and has had to roll with it somehow -- that's kind of what his entire life has been, and trying to understand and relate to the gods' plight has helped him deal. It's still harmful, and having to do these things to survive doesn't make it right, but he doesn't have a better solution for them so he's adjusted his thinking.

You do what you have to do to survive. ]

No, it doesn't. I think I'm hitting my limit, kinda. But we're stuck, so... we still have to live like this, with them.

I'll cool down.

[ Maybe shifting the topic back will help. Give him a goal again, since obviously he can't get on a boat with his condition. The only people he would've been comfortable going out with had other groups and arrival day is coming up now. ]

How's the post going? Did you get other volunteers? I've been trying to talk Nick into letting me deal for him but he's understandably not into the idea of replacing whole limbs with whatever the gods would give him. This is just more damage than he's ever taken, and I'm worried his mechanic can't rebuild his most of him with just scrap.

[ It's pretty obvious he cares about Nick a great deal and isn't bothering to hide that this is a personal investment. ]

[Connor does understand the idea of adapting and doing what you have to to survive; he done it for most of his existence, even before becoming deviant and truly realizing how many of his decisions had been made out of a fear he was denying he could even feel. But now that he is deviant, and he made the choice at home to fight right before arriving here, he doesn't want to go back to just trying to survive; everything in him is telling him not just accept all of this, and to do something, but that doesn't seem to be a popular opinion here.

So he forces himself not to argue, because he doesn't believe that'll help--the negotiator part of him says it's better for Drake to just think about things awhile--so he focuses on the change in topic.]

I've had a few volunteers to talk to the gods, but finding out what people need is not going as well.

[He doesn't want to say that he's talking to Nick right now about the issue Drake's brought up, since the conversation is private, so instead he tries being vague.]

I've heard they aren't particularly good at creating technological or mechanical devices; is that true?

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