text;

[aroundthecoroner]

So, uh, anybody seen any gods lately?

[No, this isn't the start of a shitty comedy set, it's the start of a shitty network post. Michael doesn't make these often; this might be his third in more than a year. But this situation seems to warrant it, and if no one else is talking about it yet... well. Someone's got to.]

I don't think it's a coincidence that the power's out, the water doesn't work, and those monsters are coming into the city whenever they feel like it.
That and, um, I haven't been able to contact any of the gods?
They don't show up in the temples, either.
I'm probably the last person to notice this, but I think something's, uh, pretty wrong here?

[Anyone familiar with him will know that this isn't a result of speech-to-text; he really does just type that way.]

Or I could be completely wrong and just missing them.
So, um, discuss I guess.
What's our plan if they really are gone?

Comments

[completelycrazy]

Uhhh it was your question first, dude. Youre the one that put up a post to the whole network asking about what our next move is gonna be.
Do you not want me to weigh in because you're all offended now?

[aroundthecoroner]

I don't want you to weigh in if you don't even think I'm important enough to remember.
Names are kind of a big deal.
Whatever.
We're going to end up in some chicken and egg situation if we keep trying to figure out how the network works.

[completelycrazy]

Wtf I remembered you? I misspelled your name by ONE letter. If we'd been talking instead of typing you wouldnt have even noticed.
I'm garbage at remembering names dude so the fact that I remembered yours without having to look it up is a miracle. Focus on that instead of getting hung up on one stupid letter.
Or consider that English vowels are weird and I will constantly mess them up so now you're discriminating against me because it's not my first language.

[aroundthecoroner]

Okay first of all it's Gaelic.
Second of all, you're fluent in English.
Just call me Michael if it's that hard to remember.

[completelycrazy]

Omfg you are dense sometimes dude I don't really care about the origins of the name I'm saying the vowels function like English vowels like there's hardly any difference between u and o in the case of your last name.
So what I'm fluent in English therefore I'm barred from spelling mistakes? It's a last name not a word.
Jeez why are you all up my ass about this?

[aroundthecoroner]

I'm the dense one, and you're the one asking me why I'm even upset.
Whatever.
I'll drop it.

[completelycrazy]

Hey what? No yeah sue me I dont get why you're choosing this hill to die on.
If youd like to fill me in I'm all ears pal. If not then bye I guess?

[aroundthecoroner]

Well for one thing, it's my name.
Feels pretty bad when someone you're around every day can't even remember it.
For two, just a tip, apologies are better than excuses.

[completelycrazy]

Oh my god its not like I see it written out every day and you don't come to the lab every day anyway it's like a few times a week. It's not like I even got your name wrong I just didn't spell it right!
I'm not making excuses! I'm stating my case!
But goddddd if you're gonna be THAT hung up on it then I'm sorry. I'm sorry I messed up one stupid letter in your name. There is that what you wanted?

[Newt is very good at apologies. It's on his resume.]

[aroundthecoroner]

Not exactly.
That gets like a 5/10. If even.
But I mean you tried, so I'll take it.

[completelycrazy]

[Holy shit Newt did not try, he doesn't deserve your forgiveness, Michael!!!]

JEEZ. Damn.
You win though I'm never gonna forget how to spell your name ever again. Not after this crap.
I can't believe you'll eat monster guts off the floor and yet your standards for spelling are in the stratosphere.

[aroundthecoroner]

[High standards for spelling, low standards for forgiveness.]

Well, good I guess?
And I do not eat off the floor.
Unless it's like, something that just fell.
Five second rule.

[completelycrazy]

Oh sure thats totally better.

[He would do the same, but his standards aren't on trial here.]

Jeez whatever I guess let me know if you get to the bottom of any of this missing god crap.

[aroundthecoroner]

Yeah, alright. Will do.