text;

[aroundthecoroner]

So, uh, anybody seen any gods lately?

[No, this isn't the start of a shitty comedy set, it's the start of a shitty network post. Michael doesn't make these often; this might be his third in more than a year. But this situation seems to warrant it, and if no one else is talking about it yet... well. Someone's got to.]

I don't think it's a coincidence that the power's out, the water doesn't work, and those monsters are coming into the city whenever they feel like it.
That and, um, I haven't been able to contact any of the gods?
They don't show up in the temples, either.
I'm probably the last person to notice this, but I think something's, uh, pretty wrong here?

[Anyone familiar with him will know that this isn't a result of speech-to-text; he really does just type that way.]

Or I could be completely wrong and just missing them.
So, um, discuss I guess.
What's our plan if they really are gone?

Comments

[aroundthecoroner]

Uh, our months are based on, uh.
I don't actually know?
I know we've had multiple calendars but I don't think the current one is moon-based.
Some people get lucky about the events, but mostly, there's nothing you can do to fight them off.
Believe me, I wish you could.

[theladyofhighever]

How does one keep track of time?
What sorts of things happen?
And how long have you been here?

[aroundthecoroner]

We, uh, we use clocks?
Sort of like a sundial, if you have those, but it's a machine.
And all kinds of stuff.
Once they made us sick and that turned into paranoia.
One time they made us want to touch each other.
And one time they made us think we were alone in the city.
Kind of like this.
I've been here over a year by now.

[theladyofhighever]

We have sundials in Thedas.
We even have an entire calendar based on thirty days per month.
I can't say that I would like any of those things.
Isn't there any way to resist?
I recently arrived here.

[aroundthecoroner]

You can try to fight it.
Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.
Some people seem to have more luck than others, too.
Sorry, I wish I could be more helpful.

[theladyofhighever]

How often does it work?
In your experience.
You've been very helpful. I'm grateful.
My name is Mariane Cousland, the Hero of Ferelden.
What is yours?

[aroundthecoroner]

For me? Pretty much never.
But I'd say maybe a quarter of people are either spared or manage to fight it.
And, uh, I'm Michael.
Michael Munroe.
I'm not the hero of anything.

[theladyofhighever]

A quarter of the populace?
Those odds aren't terrible.
It's a pleasure to meet you, Michael.
Even though you're not the hero of anything.
[...yes, that's her idea of a joke. pity her]

[aroundthecoroner]

Glad you're okay with meeting non-heroes.
Because I think you'd have trouble around here otherwise.

[And that's his idea of one. They're in similar boats.]

[theladyofhighever]

[she's not about to admit that she's going to have trouble here, regardless]

I'm fine with meeting anyone.
Who would you recommend?

[the terrible senses of humor boat?]

[aroundthecoroner]

Uhhh good question.
I mean, it's probably a good idea to know Nick, from the Guard.
He might look strange if your world doesn't have robots, but he's a good guy.
I'd get to know the Clinic staff, too, if you've got time.
And Newt, at the lab.
He's kind of uh.
He's a lot.
But he's smart, and he's good at solving problems.
Alphys too.

[theladyofhighever]

I've met Nick.
We have no one like him where I live, but he seemed wise.
[despite putting her down as a junior guardsman, even though she's a veteran of the Fifth Blight and personally led an army to destroy the Archdemon]
Who other than Pell works at the Clinic?
And I'll have to make my introductions at the Lab.
Thank you.

[aroundthecoroner]

Uh, well I do.
And there's Law.
And Dr. Rosen sometimes?
Kate quit, uhhh there's a few volunteers, like George, but that's most of the regular staff.

[theladyofhighever]

I'll have to make my acquaintance with them.
I'd imagine that in a place like this, a Clinic is of vital importance.

[aroundthecoroner]

Yeah, it sure is.
People get hurt a lot around here.
And not always because of the monsters.

[Sometimes they're just careless, but he's trying to be polite.]

[theladyofhighever]

People hurt one another often?
[she immediately assumes it's that]

[aroundthecoroner]

Nah, it's usually people being reckless.
Accidents, that kind of thing.
Not that people don't hurt each other.
And sometimes they get sick, but there's not a lot of disease coming in, so that's pretty rare.

[theladyofhighever]

It's good that disease is rare here.
A small community such as this, disease could devastate the population.

[aroundthecoroner]

Yeah, don't remind me.
All we need is one guy to bring in a plague and we're all in trouble.
The gods actually made a plague once, so that sucked.

[theladyofhighever]

They made a plague?
I realize that they need emotions to survive, but surely they could have implimented something a little less harsh.
[she has visions of the horrors of Blight sickness in her mind]

[aroundthecoroner]

Yeah, it made everyone paranoid.
Like the flu, but with a side of horror.

[It also almost made him kill two people, but YOU KNOW...]

[theladyofhighever]

That sounds potentially dangerous.

[excuse her, she's new. it has yet to really sink in that everything here is potentially dangerous]

[aroundthecoroner]

It, uh, it was.
Like, very.
But so are a lot of the events around here.

[theladyofhighever]

Why?
It seems conterproductive.
They need us to live to harvest our emotions.
It's in their interest that we survive.

[aroundthecoroner]

Well, most people survive.
And one of them can bring people back to life.
So it's not much of a loss for them.