Flower PSA

[glazedonutholes]

[ The recording opens with Donut standing in front of his bed that's currently covered in an ocean of flower petals. Beside him stands a decorated bike that holds a few bouquets. ]

Hey guys! Private Donut here from the popular Bluehaus with another friendly PSA. 

As you all know, it's February and that means love is in the air! For those of you unfamiliar with Earth lingo, this is the month we celebrate a little thing called Valentine's Day! It's a day when a guy in a diaper named Cupid hits you with an arrow and BAM! Instant love at first sight! Isn't it great?! 

[ He vibrates with giddy delight. ]

Well! I've been hard at work collecting all sorts of seeds in anticipation and now it's time for all of them to bloom! As your friendly neighborhood Flower God, I'll be making fresh bouquets for anyone who wants them! And this month only [ he throws his hands out to show off the bike - TADA! ] - 
I'll be making home deliveries!

You just tell me what you'd like and [he starts reciting the postal service motto ] neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays this Flower God from swift delivery! I got all sorts of bouquets for all tastes! There's your friendship ones, your first date ones, pure love, wild love, going steady, and all sorts of other ones for every occasion! 

So... [ Here he rocks back on his heels, his hands behind his back. ] I was thinking, if any of you have a little time to spare next month, maybe you can help me set-up a real flower shop and help me move-in upstairs? You know what they say, it takes a village. 

[ He keeps rocking back and forth on his heels, buzzing with so many vibrant emotions they spill over and behind him the larkspur flowers start to bloom. Reds and blues. Purples. Whites. A whole rainbow of colors come to life. ]

Either way, I love Valentine's Day, so I'd do this for free! [ He smiles before remembering - ] I'll be accepting orders all month! 

[ He waves at the recording. ] 

Happy Hearts! 

Comments

video;

[hardwearing]

...I should have known you weren't just making flowers for yourself, the whole upstairs smelled like them. When I get back I'll have orders for you -- probably better to space them out anyway, right?

[ One other thing about this caught his attention, though. ]

You want to move back out?

1/2

[glazedonutholes]

[ He giggles. He's so proud of himself for pulling this off right under their noses. They should have known he was up to something the moment he stopped bugging them to hang out! ]

I bet you thought I was just having one of my Friday night bath bombs! Hehehe

I'm at your service~ Neither rain, nor snow, or ayakashi will keep this god from delivering!

2/2

[glazedonutholes]

[ He quirks his head a little, the little crinkle in his eyes smoothing out at the information that follows. ]

When you get back? Where did you go?

[ He's been locked himself in his room for the better part of the month, only coming out for his daily walks and food. He has no idea Wash was gone. ]

[hardwearing]

I'm on a trip to the mountains to try and open up one of the bunkers there. See if we can't figure out a thing or two about what's going on around here.

[ They're on a dinner break from all the walking right now, or else he'd have his helmet on. ]

The network should still work most of the way out there, if you need me for anything you can message.

[glazedonutholes]

Bunkers? Why didn't you say you were leaving? We could have thrown you a party. [ He frowns. ] When will you be back? Is Carolina with you?

[ What about the others? Was he alone? He scrambles out of bed and hurries to the door, throwing it open and sticking his head to see if he can see anyone.

He doesn't. And now, he starts to get worried. ]

Who else is with you?

[ Did they all leave while he was planning? ]

[hardwearing]

[ Whoa, calm down, Donut. It's okay, you're not alone. ]

You can throw a coming home party if you want? Out of people from the house it's just me and Kyna, don't worry, everybody else is still there.

[ He looks a little guilty now. ]

I'm sorry I didn't tell you specifically.

[glazedonutholes]

Who's Kyna? I thought Grif's sister was Kaikaina.

[ No one told him she was here! He could have thrown her a welcome to the neighborhood party! ]

[hardwearing]

Not Kai, Kyna. My girlfriend. Have you guys not... formally met........ we're fixing this when I get back.

[ Unless Donut's moved out by then, he's still not clear on that phrasing before. ]

1/?

[glazedonutholes]

YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?!!!

2/?

[glazedonutholes]

When?! How?!

3/?

[glazedonutholes]

[ Despite his confusion, his mind hones in on what's important. What really matters. ]

You did it!

[ He's staring at him with sunshine in his eyes and oh, no. Oh, no. The feels are real! S.O.S! THE FEELS ARE REAL! ]

You did it all on your own!

[ Bestill his heart! Wash actually did it! ]

4/5

[glazedonutholes]

[ And yup, there it is. There's the bleeding heart we all know and love. He gulps down a ball of emotions, but tears still make it out, salty beads brimming to spill at the edge of his lashes. ]

Even with all your emotional baggage.

5/5

[glazedonutholes]

I'm so [ his eyes shine with happy tears] proud of you Wawsh.

[ His voice cracks at the end, his emotions too much for him to handle. And yup, there's the waterworks. Be glad it's one of happiness. ]

1/2

[hardwearing]

[ Excuse!!! ]

I-- why does everyone ask how-- that's the first question you all have, how, like I'm incapable of-- I mean I guess it was mostly her doing, but still. How...

2/2

[hardwearing]

[ Okay he needs to regain some composure the rest of his party is staring as he nearly screeches at the phone, whoops. ]

It's been over a year, actually, it took me awhile to get my shit together but... yeah, I have a girlfriend.

[ Many people have said she has shitty taste, but he's just grateful for it at this point. Lucky, maybe, to have found her, but he does try really hard so. ]

You want me to put her on?

[glazedonutholes]

Because you are.

[ He says with a half grin. He'd be happy to knock you out of that delusion you're under, but he's way too happy for you right now to do it. So, he's just gonna keep on smiling like a loon while the water works slowly dry up. ]

Really? I can meet her?

[ He sounds so hopeful. ]

[hardwearing]

Hey, clearly I'm not--

[ But as he's protesting, the phone's getting snatched from his hand. For the best, really. ]

[evocation]

[So much for space marine reflexes! Kyna's peering down at the phone, completely bundled up, which means her elf ears aren't showing. Tragic.]

Hey! I'm Kyna. And you're right, I totally did all the work.

[glazedonutholes]

[ And the phone gets passed around and Donut gets his first glimpse of -- ]

I knew it! [ He laughs. ] Wash totally isn't the type to talk to girls at all! He's way too Mr. Soldier-Mode all the time. Always crossing his t's and dotting his i's. You really should teach him how to relax and have a good time.

But look at me, rambling on about things you already know! [ He grins. ] It's super nice to finally meet you! I'm Donut! I'm on Red Team! You might have heard of me from Wash's stories, I'm sure. You know, the ones about how we took down a criminal mastermind and saved a whole planet. The guys and I couldn't have done it without him!

[ A studious nod before he takes his time to really look at her. ]

Oh, you're way different than what I pictured. [ He leans closer to the recording as if that will help him see her better. ] You're not from Hawaii are you? Oh! Don't tell me! Let me guess. Turkey--No! Spain, right?! I totally see a hot latin vibe in you. But not the lose your temper type like Lopez but more sexy secret agent with a foreign accent type! Oh! Talking about accents Lopez is our Robot buddy, I'll introduce you both if he ever shows up. He's totally funny.

This one time we were on patrol waiting for Blue Team to attack while Lopez worked on the Puma - he's good with his hands like that. [ A wink. ] Anyways, I was totally bored and I was like - Aren't you hot under there? And he was like - [ Spanish accent] No. Then, I was like, do you need any help. And he was like - [ Spanish accent] No. Then, I went down on him and joined him under the car and started asking him questions and he started to get all wound up - Hey, kind of like Wash. Well, I kept asking him questions about what he was doing, I'm very persistent that way, and he kept telling me - [ Spanish accent] No. Anyways, long story short he finally lost it when one of the nuts came loose accidentally, all on its own with no help from anyone, and dropped a whole lot of oil all over us. Man! You should us seen us all slicked up with lube. Good times~ [ He sighs. ] Well, he went into this epic tirade after that. He was all like - Porque nunca me dejas en paz?! No quiere tu maldita ayuda! Tu siempre destruyes todo hombre rosita!

Man, it was epic. And totally hot, I'd bet anything Lopez thermometer wasn't working. I mean, we all know he has a fiery latin temper, but he just went on and on and on. And the entire time I was just like, how am I going to get all this lube off of us? You know how hard it is to get lube off yourself?! Well, I'll tell you, it isn't easy. Moral of the story just let them wear themselves out, then take a little TLC to get you both cleaned up after a particularly hot work out. Also, FYI [ here he lowers his voice conspiratorially ] dish-soap cleans it right up.

[ He winks good-naturedly. ]

[ooc; translation: Why don't you ever leave me in peace?! I don't want your damn help! You always destroy everything Pink man! ]

[evocation]

[Kyna opens her mouth to say something and then just... Totally fails. Wow. Wash trying not to snicker in the background is what snaps her out of it, and she reaches over to swat at him, which does nothing considering he's got armor on.]

Uh... My mom's Mexican?

[Help.]

Wait, are you telling me you gave a robot a blowjob?

[hardwearing]

[ That's it, that's the moment that Wash loses it and starts laughing, because he tried to warn you Kyna, really he did. His friends are ridiculous. Wonderful, but ridiculous. And of course he'd pick a Lopez story to tell her -- he objects to having much in common with the robot except that they both have to suffer through the antics of the Reds and Blues, but it's pretty funny what details Kyna latches on to from all that. ]

I guarantee you he didn't, that's just Donut-speak. Things sound filthy but they're not. You get used to it.

[glazedonutholes]

[ Mexican! Just like Lopez! ]

Oh! Hablas español?

[ He's got no idea why Wash is laughing, probably something to do with keeping his rifle clean or some other military humor thing. So, he just shrugs it off just as the second question registers. ]

Well.. I guess, I did blow him away that one time. He wouldn't get over it for a whole week! Probably something to do with him finding lube in the most unexpected places. So, one day, after we came back from patrol, we took a whole night to take care it. I got him nice and clean, spent extra time on the codpiece too. By morning I was exhausted, slept like a baby after a job well done.

[ ooc; translation = Do you speak spanish? ]

[evocation]

A little. I speak more Elvish.

[BUT WAIT. She wrinkles her nose.]

I feel like I should be offended. Should I be offended? Why am I not what you pictured? And I'm not fiery.

[hardwearing]

[ Kyna you are a little fiery. But Wash never attributed that to her genetic makeup, so maybe it's worth being offended? He'd rather she wasn't, in any case... but pokes back into the camera's view because one of those questions is something he's curious about, too. ]

Yeah, what were you picturing, Donut?

[glazedonutholes]

Elvish? Like the Lord of the Rings?

[ That's the only Elivish thing he knows courtesy of Simmons. ]

Well, since you said your girlfriend was like Kaikainai [ Donut, that's not what he said at all! ] I pictured someone from the island. You know. Tan-skin, yellow armor, Grif's sister.