[video] - Backdated to July 18th

[fortunefavored]

[Newt is in Hope's Temple. He is Pissed. In fact, it's almost possible to say he's gone all the way into Angry.]

Listen up, so there's this giant triangle-headed asshole dragging an enormous cleaver around. His name is Pyramid Head, and if he catches you, he will rip your skin off, disembowel you, and then play with your insides. For fun. Trust me, avoid him at all costs. Stay in a temple if you need to. In fact, considering how much more fucked up this place just got, I'd even recommend it at this point. This guy is way faster than he looks and he has zero mercy for anyone. It doesn't matter how powerful you think you are, Pyramid Head will rip you in half. Literally.

[his expression darkens even furth, if at all possible]

And for the idiot who pulled him in here? Fuck you. Fuck you and fuck whatever you were trying to accomplish because dragging fuckING PYRAMID HEAD IN HERE [yep we have gotten up to a yell, ladies and gentlemen, that sure is a bunch screechy yelling] WAS NOT A SOLUTION!

[and the screen goes dark as he hangs up]

Comments

yay <3

[torrefied]

Hmm ... so just the one aspect, not the entire reality or the cause of it. I take it you're not aware of any weaknesses that exist for this Pyramid Head character?

[fortunefavored]

Nope. I've seen people with all kinds of super powers, from shooting lightning and flying and magic and all kinds of stuff take him on.

Not even a freaking dent in that monster.

[torrefied]

I realize this is probably a pointless question, but did anyone try a more conventional method - say, shooting it with a gun?

[fortunefavored]

[s a r c a s m] Wow! Gosh! That's such a new and interesting idea, there's no way we would have thought of that! [srsly dude?]

Gun, sword, beam katana, you name it, it was tried.

[torrefied]

Rocket launcher?

[Just, you know. Covering all the bases.]

[fortunefavored]

I dunno, but I wasn't there for every Pyramid Head fight out there. But if a lightning bolt and some serious other super powers and magic didn't make a dent in this guy? I really doubt a rocket launcher's gonna do jack.

[torrefied]

I guess it's kind of a moot point, since none of us actually has a rocket launcher, to my knowledge.

[Which is a damn shame.]

What about explosives?

[fortunefavored]

We occasionally were able to make a molotov cocktail or two. Beyond that, we didn't exactly have a lot of resources.

[torrefied]

That's probably all we'd be able to manage here, too, from what I've seen.

[Yup, he totally scoped out potential explosive-making supplies, what about it.]

And obviously that wasn't effective either, or else you would have mentioned it earlier.

[fortunefavored]

Yeah, I would've. So no luck. Honestly your best bet is to just stay out of its way.

[torrefied]

It's not like I'm planning to go hunt this thing down.

[Give him a little credit plz.]

[fortunefavored]

Hey man, I already had to talk one guy out of it.

[torrefied]

If this thing is truly as powerful and impossible to kill or injure as you've said, willingly seeking it out would be both suicidal and incredibly stupid.

[fortunefavored]

I'm not disagreeing with you there. Fortunately I think he came to the same conclusion.

[torrefied]

Sometimes I really question how so many of the people here have managed to survive for as long as they have.

[fortunefavored]

I usually go with 'sheer luck.' That seems to cover all the bases.

[torrefied]

Well, it's certainly not because they're smart enough to prioritize survival, so it must be something like luck.

[fortunefavored]

Yeah, let's just go with that, then. [not like Newt could be included amongst those people, nope....]