[video] - Backdated to July 18th

[fortunefavored]

[Newt is in Hope's Temple. He is Pissed. In fact, it's almost possible to say he's gone all the way into Angry.]

Listen up, so there's this giant triangle-headed asshole dragging an enormous cleaver around. His name is Pyramid Head, and if he catches you, he will rip your skin off, disembowel you, and then play with your insides. For fun. Trust me, avoid him at all costs. Stay in a temple if you need to. In fact, considering how much more fucked up this place just got, I'd even recommend it at this point. This guy is way faster than he looks and he has zero mercy for anyone. It doesn't matter how powerful you think you are, Pyramid Head will rip you in half. Literally.

[his expression darkens even furth, if at all possible]

And for the idiot who pulled him in here? Fuck you. Fuck you and fuck whatever you were trying to accomplish because dragging fuckING PYRAMID HEAD IN HERE [yep we have gotten up to a yell, ladies and gentlemen, that sure is a bunch screechy yelling] WAS NOT A SOLUTION!

[and the screen goes dark as he hangs up]

Comments

[unfollowing]

[Looks like someone's getting to take the thrilling course called Talking with Emily 101.

You failed, by the way. You don't tell Emily to chill.]

I'm literally the one telling you to chill.

[fortunefavored]

[Newt is already Not Great at talking to people. It only makes sense that he'd be even worse at Talking with Emily.]

Yeah? Well I'm telling you to chill about telling me to chill.

[Actual Five-Year-Old Newt Geiszler]

[unfollowing]

[That earns him a blank stare because are you serious.]

Whatever. Don't shit yourself when the sirens sound again.

[She's done with you, and it's more important for her to keep Ashley company right now, so off she goes to do just that.]