[video] - Backdated to July 18th

[fortunefavored]

[Newt is in Hope's Temple. He is Pissed. In fact, it's almost possible to say he's gone all the way into Angry.]

Listen up, so there's this giant triangle-headed asshole dragging an enormous cleaver around. His name is Pyramid Head, and if he catches you, he will rip your skin off, disembowel you, and then play with your insides. For fun. Trust me, avoid him at all costs. Stay in a temple if you need to. In fact, considering how much more fucked up this place just got, I'd even recommend it at this point. This guy is way faster than he looks and he has zero mercy for anyone. It doesn't matter how powerful you think you are, Pyramid Head will rip you in half. Literally.

[his expression darkens even furth, if at all possible]

And for the idiot who pulled him in here? Fuck you. Fuck you and fuck whatever you were trying to accomplish because dragging fuckING PYRAMID HEAD IN HERE [yep we have gotten up to a yell, ladies and gentlemen, that sure is a bunch screechy yelling] WAS NOT A SOLUTION!

[and the screen goes dark as he hangs up]

Comments

[fortunefavored]

[Sounds like a relationship on the rocks to me.

It's supposed to be a joke. It's funny. He should laugh. And he does! Laugh! But it sounds a little strained, now, and weak] I--yeah, totally. Though I think I'm probably safe--I doubt we could find a beaker out here if we wanted to. [GOING FOR LIGHTHEARTED]

[ishotyouuu]

Hey, you never know. Hermann might get desperate enough to find himself a nice petri dish. It kinda has an hourglass figure if you get drunk enough?

[Yeah, guess who's completely oblivious to the fact that he's accidentally on point with that whole "relationship on the rocks" thing.]

[fortunefavored]

[Newt swallows, at that] Nah, man, that's not Hermann's style. He's all about math and the cosmos and stuff.

[ishotyouuu]

The cosmos?

[Don't make the easy joke, don't make the easy joke, don't make the easy joke--]

I can image. I mean, he's probably probed Uranus several times, right?

[God fucking dammit Wade.]

[fortunefavored]

[alksdhfs Newt can't quite help the blush that spreads over the bridge of his nose, though he does laugh.] Uhhh, not quite yet, no. We haven't really, uh...gotten that far. Or had time for it. Or anything like that.

just pretend I can type and that last tag says "imagine" OTL

[ishotyouuu]

Whaaaaat?

[News to Wade. He thought you'd have already broken out the engagement rings by now.]

Havin' trouble gettin' in the mood or something? Pretty sure I got my iPod around here somewhere-- you like Marvin Gaye or is Barry White more your style?