[Video | Open]

[federalbureauofimmortals]

[Victor's face appears on the screen. At least he's figured out how to not be too close to the little camera on his phone.]

Hey! You! Yeah, I mean all of you.

I'm still processing all that shit that happened when I arrived and when the fog rolled in. This place is a god damn mess, right? We're batteries for some assholes and they can't even keep things under control. Never mind, that'll just keep pissing me off if I talk about it.

[He even takes a breath before going right back into another ramble.]

Why I'm really calling is to play with this phone. I mean look at it, it's pretty amazing. I wonder who all played a part in it. I'd love to say I'd come up with something like this but it's a bit ahead of me right now. If anyone can help explain some of the stuff I don't get about it, let me know.

Oh, yeah, and also. I'm calling out to whoever is in the Guard. That means if you can see this get back to me. Now that we have a moment to breathe I'd like to know if you're the real thing or just another problem I'm going to have to worry about. I hope you are the real thing, I have enough people to keep an eye on already and it hasn't even been a month.

Comments

[text]

[thechoiceisyours]

Dude chill the Guard's fine.

I can probably help you with phone stuff also.

[Chris may not feel up to video or voice call but he's always about messing with technology.]

[text]

[federalbureauofimmortals]

They looked alright but I've never heard of them so I'm not going to assume they play nice. As for the phone. I'd love to take it apart to see how it ticks but I'm pretty sure I won't be able to put it back together again.

[text]

[thechoiceisyours]

You've only been here a few weeks, right?

You probably wouldn't learn all that much taking it apart since I think Hope runs them by magic. But taking apart a normal smartphone probably still wouldn't tell you much unless you're familiar with computers. They're kind of complicated but don't have a lot of moving parts.

[text]

[federalbureauofimmortals]

Magic? Great. More of this magic bullshit. And I'm kind of disappointed. Seriously. Who makes something like this and doesn't even try to show you how it works?

[text]

[verinumeri]

'If anyone can help explain some of the stuff I don't get about it'.

You should be more specific.

Regardless, I see you've had an offer. Mobile phones like these are designed to be user friendly and these don't have much in the way of applications. However that explanation goes, it will likely suffice.

[text]

[federalbureauofimmortals]

What do you mean they don't have many applications? You got to be kidding me. It is a phone you can walk around with and contact anyone at any time. I can think of hundreds of applications for it.

[text]

[verinumeri]

No. Regarding these phones, we call the programs on them 'mobile apps'. The icons you touch to make a call or post to the network, those are applications. These phones have a limited selection, but it seems possible to code more.

[text]

[federalbureauofimmortals]

You've lost me there but I can get behind their name at least. Mobile apps. Applications. Got it. I won't try to comprehend what number counts as limited and I'm pretty sure I'm misunderstanding the rest. Which is terrible because I'd love to understand this more.

[voice]

[synthedick]

We're real enough. You're welcome to drop by the headquarters if you need proof we exist.

[voice]

[federalbureauofimmortals]

Now that's what I'm talking about. How about you tell me how to get there and I'll wrap up what I am doing and swing on by? Make it easy on me to get what I need to know and I promise I'll be out of your hair. Unless you guys are up to something really terrible and shitty, then I am going to come in like a force of nature. But if you're mostly all like that one woman I might almost believe that you aren't the bad guys.

[voice]

[synthedick]

[He's just going to assume "like that one woman" probably means Maketh, though any of the ladies on the Guard would be a fair representative.]

We're over by the armory on the south end of town. I'm in the office now, if you want to drop in. The name's Nick Valentine.

[voice -> action]

[federalbureauofimmortals]

Got it Nick, I'll be over.

[It doesn't take Victor Talbot long to wrap up, but it does take him a bit to find his way there. He needs to explore more.

When he arrives, he enters with a brisk, far too forceful stride. Like you might catch something just before everyone covers it up. Looking around the office for a man who could be "Nick".]

I was told to swing on by so I took the offer. Is Nick here?

[voice]

[circumitus]

Am used to something a little more compact from these phones. They're a downgrade, all things considered.

[Excuse u, Rey. Not everyone can be from the future.]

The Guard is a pretty real thing. Not sure why you'd think we're not.

[voice]

[federalbureauofimmortals]

Yeah, well, when you've been around as long as I have you learn to appreciate the ingenuity behind shit like this. So no need to be fucking high and mighty about it.

[Victor. Victor you were just being all high and mighty on the video call a second ago.]

And I heard you exist but I'm more interested in just what you guys are all about.

[voice]

[circumitus]

As "long" as you have?

[Forgive her skepticism. Not that Rey is one to talk, being the ripe old age of 97 herself, technically speaking.]

Some of us make use of our skills and experience to help others here. That's the idea, anyway.

[voice]

[federalbureauofimmortals]

[He puts his focus on The Guard then.]

It's all well and good to say that, and honestly I hope that's all true. Still, I'd kick myself if I didn't at least try to make sure whoever put this together doesn't have some shitty plan to put everyone here through the wringer. Maybe you're telling the truth but someone else has bigger plans. I'm that kind of asshole who needs to look a little deeper before I'm satisfied.

video

[barbarus]

[ Damen looks irritated. He'll be ignoring all that talk of the phone - he doesn't like the phones, anyway - but he's not going to take that question about the Guard lying down. ]

'Another problem'? We are people just like you. The Guard was created to help those who cannot help themselves.

We are not a problem for anyone. Why would we be?

video

[federalbureauofimmortals]

[Victor seems happy about this for some reason. Also, people should engage him in texts. He hasn't figured out how to effectly rant in texts yet.]

Why would you be? Because there are three types of groups who go around enforcing things. There are those who are looking out for their own, there are those who are looking out for everyone and there are those who are working for someone. The first kind are no better than a group of selfish assholes. The third kind all depends on just who they are working for. Of course there's the second kind, who are either the true good guys or a complete group of idiots. So what are you? Eh? Who are you? You want to hear a good way to find out what type of group you're dealing with? Because I'm going to tell you. It's simple...

[Okay, Victor has to cough because he forgot to take a breath there. He tries to play it off like clearing his throat, trying to maintain his dramatic moment. Taking a deep breath, he finishes with.]

You rile them up and see if they're the sort of assholes who stick to their guns or if they'll let their pride reveal them for just a bunch of violent punks.

video

[barbarus]

[ Damen feels a deep irritation curling in his chest. Of course, this would have been some kind of test. His life has been overfull of men who jump through hoops of their own making instead of just saying what they mean. He thinks it must be exhausting to think that way.

Damen's mind runs in straight lines. It would be a lot easier, he thinks, if everyone else followed suit. ]

If you want to know what, or who, we are, then you should ask.

I am Damianos, King of Akielos, and I was brought here, away from a war in which I am fighting for the future of my people, to serve false gods here against my will. When I joined the city guard, I did so because it was the first attempt by any of us to organise into a unit that could fight. We are not working for anyone. We are doing this to keep the city, and those within it, safe.

Have you been given reason to think otherwise?

video

[federalbureauofimmortals]

[Victor doesn't make many friends with his methods, but then again he deals with groups who wheel, deal and trick everyone around them into some terrible plots. At this point it just becomes rote.

Though Victor was never agreeable before getting involved in all that. So maybe it's just him.]

So you were there from the start? And they're not working for you, King Damianos?

I've dealt with a lot of groups. You could have a cheerful faced or honest to god saint on your side and they could still be just a pawn in the game of some boss who want to treat us like play things. We already got those god people doing it with power. Someone else would have to organize a group to do something like that.

So, since trusting at face value isn't my thing and it'd make me a pretty shitty cop, let's get everything out in the open. You could lie to me, but I'll find out if you are eventually. Who all founded The Guard?

video

[skelebro]

Pretty sure the guard's on our side.

[They seemed all right with a literal skeleton, so that endeared him to them somewhat.]

video

[federalbureauofimmortals]

That's what I'm hoping. Are you a member or something?

[If Huey could see Victor now, unable to trust of any organization he doesn't know. Huey would be amused.]

video

[skelebro]

Nah, I just asked 'em. Didn't have any problem protecting folks like me.

[Which means that they didn't seem to have any of humans' bothersome anti-monster ideologies. Which is nice.]

Re: video

[federalbureauofimmortals]

That's good to hear. Some people look sideways at people in costumes. Usually they're punks or criminals.

[He's totally not getting the point.]

But even if you have to arrest those types, they still need protection. Right?

[muscovy]

You can make drawings in the communicator, but they won't be as pretty as drawings in books. You should play with them, yes?