video; we had a riel good time

[skelebro]

[There's a skeleton on the network. He seems pretty unperturbed about his state of being, actually, and in fact looks rather cheerful, all things considered. He's got the camera lodged or propped up somewhere, because he's not carrying it. That would evidently require too much work. No, Sans has his bony hands shoved in his jacket pockets, addressing a point of space slightly to the left of his device.]

So that was pretty fun, huh? Not actually the weirdest thing that's ever happened me, believe it or not. I bet all that fog sure won't be...mist.

[He chuckles, and the lights in his eyesockets focus on the screen.]

Anyway. I've been around the block a few times, but I just figured I'd ask. Anyone seen another skeleton around? Tall, loud, likes saying "nyeh heh heh"? He's like me, but the opposite in every conceivable way.

Let me know.

[And the feed goes dark.]

Comments

[skelebro]

[Thank you, Newt, very much for deflecting, because that tense slippage was also unintentional, and getting into the logistics of that would be both confusing and...not wanted. Very much not wanted.]

You know, I bet the puns are genetic. You could always try making a...

[Pause for effect.]

Punnett square.

[fortunefavored]

[yeah, no, if you think he's going to move that easily, Hermann, you're fooling yourself. If anything, he's scooting up a bit so that his shoulders are now in his lap, pinning him down. And he barks out a laugh at Sans' next pun.]

I guess you could say they pun in the family.

[verinumeri]

How would they be genetic if you've just said your brother hates them? And don't start with how a Punn-- [ He stops himself, then realizes that, yes, it's actually called a bloody Punnett square. ] -- . . . how the diagram works.

[ Thus it could in fact be unexpressed in the brother. THIS IS ABSURD AND HE REFUSES. ]

Newton!

[ Shoving his phone into a pocket, he grabs at the arm of the couch, trying to yank himself up and to his feet. ]

[skelebro]

Man, Newt, you beat me to the punch.

[Now they're both having fun at Hermann's expense, and it's kind of glorious. He just sounds so scandalized. Actively resisting every second of this.

Too late, Hermann. You're trapped. Trapped. Stuck listening to these priceless, priceless puns, and ever-so-witty banter.]

You don't have to couch it in so many technicalities.

[fortunefavored]

[so very trapped, Hermann. Newt is going to wiggle to put even MORE of his weight on Hermann's lap, keeping him pinned even as he tries to escape]

Wow, are you trying to leave already, Hermann? That's sofa-cking rude!

[verinumeri]

[ There cannot be anymore sofa or couch related puns. They may have only just begun with them, yet they must have exhausted it.

Must have.

Or he truly is in hell.

He shoves at Newton in earnest, with as much strength as he can muster, his voice grunting with the effort, strangled. ]

Why are both of you like this?

[ At this point, obviously, just to annoy him. Why must he be such an easy, easy target. ]

[skelebro]

[The two are now engaged in some kind of lowkey wrestling match here, and Sans is loving every minute of it.]

Puns must be a deep-seated passion of ours.

[fortunefavored]

Yeah, they're really--[except it's then that Hermann manages to put enough force behind his shoving to topple Newt off his lap. Aaaaaand down he goes onto the floor with a squawk, interrupting whatever he was going to say]

[verinumeri]

[ Given Newton's resistance, it isn't as though there is a total vacuum, nothing to stop his momentum. Not at first. Newton does hit the floor, however, and Hermann had been pushing with everything, so while it may not be total, there's still plenty of momentum left, and he's already at an odd angle.

In short, yes, exactly the worst and most ridiculous outcome: he thrusts himself off the couch, and has no room to stagger and right himself while half-bent and with Newton right there on the floor.

So he trips over Newton and falls right on him, knees first.

With the appropriate undignified sound. ]

[skelebro]

[Sans makes an absurd snort-like sound (it's best not to ruminate over how skeletons are capable of such noises without tongues or noses or anything of the sort, it just is) at the outrageous lax of musculodexterity exercised by the both of them.]

Should I make a joke about dominoes here, or should I let it...[oh no here it comes]...slide?

[fortunefavored]

[ow. Newt yelps as Hermann goes down on top of him, knees first. Which sucks because Hermann has really bony knees. For a minute he just is going to groan, even WITH San's joke, because he is in paaaain]

Owwwwww fuck. [hold on, that's about the extent of what he can manage right now]

[verinumeri]

[ Though Newton's still severely under his normal weight, he makes for a softer landing than the floor. Hermann's groan is thus entirely for the pun. Without any measure of consideration for Newton, he shoves against Newton's chest, to try to push off and get himself to his feet.

While grunting, ]

You deserved it. It was your fault. If you'd gotten off me to begin with, it wouldn't have happened!

[skelebro]

[Sans snickers. He is so glad he's living with these doofuses.]

Oh, fuck-rying out loud, Newt.

[fortunefavored]

[Newt's shoving at Hermann, even as he gets up] It was not my fault, oh ye of bony knees! [he pauses, though he can't see Sans] No offense, Sans!

[is that offensive to skeletons? well, better safe than sorry]

[verinumeri]

[ Don't shove at the unstable man just getting to his feet! Only pinwheeling arms and a frantic, leaning grab for the couch keeps him upright. ]

It was too your fault!

[ Ignoring that 'no offense', because it was stupid. ]

[skelebro]

None taken. Sometimes you just kneed a real good pun, you know?

[Sans just watches the spectacle with amusement. Kind of wishes he could get some popcorn.]

[fortunefavored]

Nuh-uh! You were--[except Sans throws out that pun, and whatever Newt was going to say dissolves into cackling laughter]

[verinumeri]

[ Right. It's still happening, but at least Newton's on the ground and Hermann's upright. He grabs his cane and bolts for the stairs. ]

[skelebro]

[Sans doesn't say anything else, but he doesn't think he has to. He's already lost 50% of his audience, and the remaining 50% is absolutely losing his shit over this pun-off right now.

So a job well done, Newt et al. A job well done.]