text | lost in translation (misfire)

[64th]

[ late in the evening, the entire network is graced with this bit of pure poetry: ]

HEY ;) ARE YOU UP
WANNA GET WEIRD?

[ caps lock is stuck on. it is apparently not cruise control for cool. also attached is this pic. please enjoy Cash's latest most embarrassing moment. ]

Comments

audio

[kickingand]

[ oh HO this is the greATEST.... or most ridiculous, he's not sure. ]

How weird're we talkin'?

audio

[64th]

[ she's trying to sound really cool about this but it's not working so well. ]

Not weird enough that I meant to ask everyone. [ she's gonna try and laugh this one off. ] For the record I did not add all that stuff to my picture.

audio

[kickingand]

That's a kind of weird nobody around here wants. [ That's probably not even true, who knows with all ya'll kinky bastards. ]

You sure? It's a good look for you.

audio

[64th]

You think so? Is it the flying hearts that really say "join me for my orgy?"

[text]

[thechoiceisyours]

I WISH I COULD SAY THIS WAS THE WEIRDEST PICKUP LINE I'VE EVER HEARD

[But unfortunately it's not. Also his phone is working fine but no one has to know that.]

[text]

[64th]

IT IS OUT OF CONTEXT

[ no, it's not. ]

WHATS THE WEIRDEST PICKUP LINE YOUVE HEARD?

[text]

[thechoiceisyours]

I'VE HEARD AND SEEN A WHOLE LOT OF THEM ONLINE THAT ARE AWFUL BUT I THINK THE WORST I HEARD IN PERSON WAS:

"I WISH I COULD SEW MYSELF TO YOU"

LIKE WTF

[Frat parties, man.]

[text]

[64th]

HAHAHA GROSS
THE WEIRDEST I GOT WAS "I'D LIKE TO SEE IF YOURE AS SOFT AND WARM AS YOUR NAME"

[text]

[thechoiceisyours]

WOW THAT'S NOT JUST TERRIBLE BUT ALSO SUPER CREEPY BECAUSE OF THE PERSONALIZATION

[text]

[64th]

I WASNT VERY IMPRESSED FOR OBVIOUS REASONS

[text]

[thechoiceisyours]

I CAN'T IMAGINE WHY; IT WAS CREATIVE AND CUSTOMIZED JUST FOR YOU

[text]

[64th]

IS THAT HOW YOU ASKED ASHLEY OUT?

[text]

[thechoiceisyours]

WOW I'D BE INSULTED IF I WEREN'T CHOOSING TO BELIEVE YOU'RE NOT SERIOUS

BUT NO I MADE A GRAND MOVIE-LIKE GESTURE OF DEVOTION AND IT WAS SUPER ROMANTIC AND TRAGIC AND WHATEVER

[That's about as close to the truth as he's actually willing to get and it just so happens it sounds utterly ridiculous enough to be an appropriate response, especially when said somewhat flippantly, for this conversation.]

[text]

[64th]

WOW!
WHAT WOMAN DOESNT LOVE TRAGIC ROMANCE
WERE YOUR PARENTS FROM RIVAL FAMILIES??

[text]

[thechoiceisyours]

WELL MY PARENTS USED A DIFFERENT CELL PHONE PROVIDER THAN HERS; DOES THAT COUNT?

[text]

[64th]

[ she's not even sure what that means ]

YES?

[text]

[thechoiceisyours]

THEN YEAH TOTALLY

[text]

[64th]

IM SWOONING

[text]

[thechoiceisyours]

YOU SHOULD BE I'M SUPER SUAVE

[beanstalk]

Let's go with

No

[64th]

RUDE

[beanstalk]

Hardly

[64th]

I WASN'T ASKING YOU ANYWAY

IT WAS FOR SOMEONE ELSE

[beanstalk]

Good job messing that one up

[64th]

I DIDN'T

I SENT IT TO THEM AND IT WENT HERE AND IT WON'T DELETE AND MY THING WON'T MAKE SMALL LETTERS