hadriel | 第6: esteemed emily #2

[When she starts, Emily sounds a lot more chill than last time. This is actually because she's feeling low still thanks to Ash and Josh being gone, but it manifests in a calm, almost indifferent tone.

Which is probably for the best, given how many people she pissed off last time, and the fact that she's not out to do that anymore. (Sorry, Rage, but she's not interested in skin cream made of actual human beings holy shit.)]

Before anyone jumps down my throat: chill. This is actually a really interesting question.

Just one, yeah. I got three total after the first edition of this, but two of them were really easy to figure out the senders of, so in the interest of respecting their privacy, I already replied to them and I'm leaving it at that.

[Thanks for the tic-tacs, Sans. Stay smarter than before, Bianca.]

Anyway. Here's what I have for today:

Emily,

Why are humans so awfully complicated and what can I do to understand them better?

Additionally, do you have a dream? If so, what is it?

Okay. This is something we're all dealing with here, so it's hard to tell who this is from.

So. Why are humans complicated? Because we're human. We're people, which isn't the same thing, right? Like, I think of the non-humans here as people. Intelligent life. That kind of thing. So I guess the answer is, because we're alive and we can think and feel, or whatever existential BS you believe in.

What can you do to understand us better? Talk to us. Don't be a dick. It's really not that hard.

[Never mind the fact that Emily is one of those humans who will take offense to just about anything if for no other reason than she's not having a good day nine days out of ten. Give her time, she'll come around.

But moving on.]

I'm not going to tell you my dreams. They're mine, and that's really fucking rude of you to ask. It's super personal. I barely even tell my friends what my dreams are. Like, okay, I get you're trying to be friendly, but if you think we're close and you're really curious, come talk to me about it, don't put it in the box outside the shop and expect me to answer it for all of shithole cavetown to see.

[Like goddamn do you want the gods to get more to torture her with?]

Anyway. That's it. Peace out or whatever.

[And that's that.]

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

[Guess who's still salty about last time? This asshole. Guess who actually saw one of Emily's dreams during the dreamshare week? Yup, this asshole.]

Dear Esteemed Emily,

One might infer from your defensive attitude re: dreams that you feel like you have something to hide with respect to the same. If they all contain such banal content as your effusive praise for your friend Jess and the state of the fashion industry, I can assure you there's a very small chance that they'll be of any interest to anyone here.

Sincerely,

M.

[Oh no you didn't, motherfucker.]

dear asshole who is extremely fucking obvious,

that would be the opinion of someone who doesn't know what it's like to have a friendship so strong it can survive literally anything

kindly go fuck yourself

sincerely,

emily

[Alright, so even though the first part of this question was very pertinent to Glacius, who still feels as though he has a lot to learn when it comes to dealing with humans, he wasn't planning on responding to the post because he feels as though Emily might still want some space from him. And normally he certainly wouldn't butt in on someone else's conversation like this... he is so aware that she is going through a hard time right now, it is extremely irksome to the alien that this person--likely oblivious to the greater situation--is being so openly disrespectful.]

The inner workings of someone's mind are no one's business but their own. She has every right to defend them if she so wishes. Moreover, we are all different individuals who dream for different things. Who are you to talk down to what is important to someone?

Someone who had the distinct displeasure of suffering through one of her dreams in person.

Once again, I find it curious that you've chosen to bring sex into the discussion. One might infer a number of things about that, too.

infer how far your head is up your ass for all i care

hey, douchebag, you realize whoever wrote to me didn't mean literal dreams

holy shit you're dumb on top of sexist

i'm almost sorry you don't have what jess and i ~~had~~ have

almost

oh wait no there goes the half a shit i gave

Dear Esteemed Emily,

What is the socially accepted manner of telling someone to keep their shits to themselves? There are some things that just shouldn't be shared, and this girl I know seems to have trouble understanding that.

Sincerely,

M.

probably when you learn to be mature enough to stop talking shit to her first

I guarantee you that having you present was not her choice, especially seeing how you choose to conduct yourself. And I also guarantee you that is not what she was referring to here... but even if it was, are you one so self-absorbed that you presume that even another's subconscious thoughts should be tailored to your own amusement?

Sorry, I couldn't hear you over the sound of my own snoring.

[Holy shit. He's a literal goddamn child.

Emily actually laughs out loud at that. Fuck this, he's not even worth replying to anymore.]

I don't know about anyone else, but my dream is just to get the fuck out of this shit hole. [ a pause, and then: ] Or murder a few of our local deities, I don't think I'm too picky at this point.

[ because how can anyone dream about a future beyond this right now? but fingers crossed one (or both both please both) come true! ]

I didn't send this question, but every time someone tries to answer it, I'm very interested to hear what they have to say.

I guarantee no one actually asked for your input.

Often when one hears the truth about their unsavory behavior they find it hard to deal with. In other words, I am not surprised that you are attempting to simply shut my words out.

And if I were concerned about your opinion of me, I'm sure I'd be truly contrite by now.

[But he's not, so. Sticks and stones, etc.]

So are your dreams embarassing, or what?

It is not just my opinion you should be worried about. These responses are quite public, and you are putting on a disgusting front to any that may view this message. But if you do not care about anyone's opinion of yourself, well then. By all means continue on in this vein. It will catch up to you eventually, and then you will only have yourself to blame when few wish to come to your aid.

Bet your house smells minty-fresh by now, right?

[Yeah, his identity was obvious with that font and that prank. But it was hilarious, and all in good fun. Hopefully she enjoyed it as much as he did.]

the "why are people complicated" part or the dreams part?

they're badass, but they're personal

you know, i didn't realize until you sent me them that i missed that minty flavor

and yeah, the house smells minty too

whatever gets you through the shit that goes on here. i'm not judging

[Just please don't unleash fucking hell on this place again.]

It's clear that you don't want to talk about your dreams. But anything to do with humanity's grander motives is generally interesting, especially when a human grapples with the question.

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第6: esteemed emily #2 - voice

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