第6: esteemed emily #2 - voice

[unfollowing]

[When she starts, Emily sounds a lot more chill than last time. This is actually because she's feeling low still thanks to Ash and Josh being gone, but it manifests in a calm, almost indifferent tone.

Which is probably for the best, given how many people she pissed off last time, and the fact that she's not out to do that anymore. (Sorry, Rage, but she's not interested in skin cream made of actual human beings holy shit.)]

Before anyone jumps down my throat: chill. This is actually a really interesting question.

Just one, yeah. I got three total after the first edition of this, but two of them were really easy to figure out the senders of, so in the interest of respecting their privacy, I already replied to them and I'm leaving it at that.

[Thanks for the tic-tacs, Sans. Stay smarter than before, Bianca.]

Anyway. Here's what I have for today:

Emily,

Why are humans so awfully complicated and what can I do to understand them better?

Additionally, do you have a dream? If so, what is it?

Okay. This is something we're all dealing with here, so it's hard to tell who this is from.

So. Why are humans complicated? Because we're human. We're people, which isn't the same thing, right? Like, I think of the non-humans here as people. Intelligent life. That kind of thing. So I guess the answer is, because we're alive and we can think and feel, or whatever existential BS you believe in.

What can you do to understand us better? Talk to us. Don't be a dick. It's really not that hard.

[Never mind the fact that Emily is one of those humans who will take offense to just about anything if for no other reason than she's not having a good day nine days out of ten. Give her time, she'll come around.

But moving on.]

I'm not going to tell you my dreams. They're mine, and that's really fucking rude of you to ask. It's super personal. I barely even tell my friends what my dreams are. Like, okay, I get you're trying to be friendly, but if you think we're close and you're really curious, come talk to me about it, don't put it in the box outside the shop and expect me to answer it for all of shithole cavetown to see.

[Like goddamn do you want the gods to get more to torture her with?]

Anyway. That's it. Peace out or whatever.

[And that's that.]

Comments

permatext.

[torrefied]

[Guess who's still salty about last time? This asshole. Guess who actually saw one of Emily's dreams during the dreamshare week? Yup, this asshole.]

Dear Esteemed Emily,

One might infer from your defensive attitude re: dreams that you feel like you have something to hide with respect to the same. If they all contain such banal content as your effusive praise for your friend Jess and the state of the fashion industry, I can assure you there's a very small chance that they'll be of any interest to anyone here.

Sincerely,

M.

same

[unfollowing]

[Oh no you didn't, motherfucker.]

dear asshole who is extremely fucking obvious,

that would be the opinion of someone who doesn't know what it's like to have a friendship so strong it can survive literally anything

kindly go fuck yourself

sincerely,

emily

[torrefied]

Once again, I find it curious that you've chosen to bring sex into the discussion. One might infer a number of things about that, too.

permatext.

[glacius]

[Alright, so even though the first part of this question was very pertinent to Glacius, who still feels as though he has a lot to learn when it comes to dealing with humans, he wasn't planning on responding to the post because he feels as though Emily might still want some space from him. And normally he certainly wouldn't butt in on someone else's conversation like this... he is so aware that she is going through a hard time right now, it is extremely irksome to the alien that this person--likely oblivious to the greater situation--is being so openly disrespectful.]

The inner workings of someone's mind are no one's business but their own. She has every right to defend them if she so wishes. Moreover, we are all different individuals who dream for different things. Who are you to talk down to what is important to someone?

[torrefied]

Someone who had the distinct displeasure of suffering through one of her dreams in person.

audio

[unitas]

I don't know about anyone else, but my dream is just to get the fuck out of this shit hole. [ a pause, and then: ] Or murder a few of our local deities, I don't think I'm too picky at this point.

[ because how can anyone dream about a future beyond this right now? but fingers crossed one (or both both please both) come true! ]

text

[unfollowing]

whatever gets you through the shit that goes on here. i'm not judging

[Just please don't unleash fucking hell on this place again.]

audio

[unitas]

Don't you think it's kind of hard to have any sort of grand dream while you're trapped here? [ so long as they're here, any plans for the future, any hopes and dreams outside this place, may as well be an impossibility. ]

[Text]

[hearthebell]

I didn't send this question, but every time someone tries to answer it, I'm very interested to hear what they have to say.

text

[unfollowing]

the "why are people complicated" part or the dreams part?

text

[hearthebell]

It's clear that you don't want to talk about your dreams. But anything to do with humanity's grander motives is generally interesting, especially when a human grapples with the question.

text

[64th]

So are your dreams embarassing, or what?

text

[unfollowing]

they're badass, but they're personal

video

[skelebro]

Bet your house smells minty-fresh by now, right?

[Yeah, his identity was obvious with that font and that prank. But it was hilarious, and all in good fun. Hopefully she enjoyed it as much as he did.]

text

[unfollowing]

you know, i didn't realize until you sent me them that i missed that minty flavor

and yeah, the house smells minty too

permatext, permaprivate

[unfollowing]

[Ah so it was you. She's not sure why she's surprised. Which she almost says to him, except... he's clearly trying. Also, she already told him off for asking about her dream.

So, time for a less hostile response than originally planned.]

i would argue with that, but given some humans are enormous fucking assholes, [MELLO] i can't

text; y'all ready for this

[funnybird]

do you need an assistant? i'm a pretty smart bird that likes to answer dumb questions too.

yeeee

[unfollowing]

no thanks, i'm pretty sure i'm retiring after this one





are you literally a bird, or is that some british thing

[audio]

[onlyanautomaton]

Hello, Emily. I am Oscar.

All one must do to understand humans is listen and observe. It's quite simple.

text

[unfollowing]

[He's a stranger, so she resorts to text so that the full extent of her sarcasm doesn't hit him all at once.]

thank you for that enlightening observation, oscar

you can't just listen and observe, though. that can get really creepy

video;

[robobees]

( have a pensive henry face. this can go one of two ways, of course, as is the way of interacting with this one right here; it could go smoothly, calmly, two reasonable young adults engaging in conversation, or -

it could go down like a disaster meant to destroy the entire underground. we'll just have to see which way it leans.

he rests his chin in one hand, one brow quirked upward. )

I'd say learning a bit about someone's hopes and dreams would allow them to greatly understand them better. You wouldn't have to give away your deepest, darkest desires. Just ... something you want. Right?

( oh dear, henry ... oh dear. )

text

[unfollowing]

[Jesus Christ this fucking post is bringing out all the idiots in the goddamn cave.]

you're assuming other people want you to get to know them

private audio;

[hollowly]

( how long has it been since they talked? who knows. but she has a point - it's a very interesting question, and a very interesting answer. )

Well, that was informative. ( he huffs out a laugh, and for all it sounds a bit derisive, he's genuinely amused. )

You okay?

private audio

[unfollowing]

Wow, look who's among the land of the living. [There's a smile in her voice, tempering the sarcasm.

It doesn't last long, though.]

Did you hear about Ash and Josh? [Answer the question by asking another. That's how you avoid talking about your feelings, right?]