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[retiredfromhell]

[ It's been awhile since a certain someone has been seen around these parts.

Where has he been? What has he been up to?

Surely you don't expect the devil to answer those sorts of questions; do you?

Besides, according to the video, someone is gingerly picking his way through bits and pieces of zombie parts. Rather than looking disturbed, he appears merely curious as he rolls a dead zombie with the toe of a shoe before hunkering down to study it. ]

Well, well. It would seem I've missed the party.

I'm assuming this was a party? Really you lot, what have you been up to in my absence?

[ Straightening gracefully he stepped over the body and continued along. ]

While I'd love to be brought up to speed on why there are bits of corpses everywhere, there is a more important question for the moment.

Castiel, please tell me that you and Dean have sorted yourselves out?

Comments

[murderpotato]

There ain't a whole lot of other options.

[And Gren likes to drink, okay. As far as bartenders go, Delight's about as good of one as anybody is gonna get.]

So what you're sayin' is that you're a nosy prick. Get a fuckin' hobby.

[One that doesn't involve being overly active in your sibling's sex life.]

[retiredfromhell]

More's the pity that.

[ Lucifer rolled his eyes at the last bit and somehow managed to affect the body language of an annoyed twelve year old girl. ]

It had nothing to do with me. Everybody deserves a sex life but believe me, if I'm not actively participating I don't care about it. They kept dumping it on my doorstep.

[ But ... wait. There is a moment where he stops thinking in terms of me and circles back on what this guy has been saying. ]

But if you're saying they're sticking it ... so they are ... finally ... sticking it then?

[murderpotato]

What?

[Satan. Satan, no. No, Satan, no.]

How the fuck would I know? I don't even know who the fuck they are, I sure as fuck don't know if they're schtuppin' each other.

[He doesn't have his own sex life, he's not sticking his nose into someone else's.]

[retiredfromhell]

Well you were talking about it like you knew! [ Lucifer charged right back, looking genuinely flummoxed that now this man was saying he didn't know.

In fact he sighs and sets his hands on his hips ... still standing in the middle of zombie parts. ]

You mean you don't know? You were just getting my hopes up?

[murderpotato]

I didn't fuckin' say I knew!

[Somehow, this conversation managed to take a hard left and go right out of his control. How did this happen? Why does Satan think he knows who his brother is banging?]

All I said is that you're a nosy fucker.

[retiredfromhell]

[ Because Lucifer has a gift of wheeling all conversations back to somehow being about him and his interests. Really, it's a gift. ]

Look, I try to avoid family drama just as much as the next celestial being but sometimes it just ends up on your front doorstep.

Can't blame me for hoping that was no longer the case.

[murderpotato]

If you can't fuckin' avoid your brother's sex life, you ain't tryin' hard enough.

[Not that Gren even has siblings or anything. He's an only monster-child, the only sex life he's been avoiding is his own.]

Let 'em sort it out on their own or whatever. Nobody likes some asshole stickin' his nose in their fuckin' bedroom.

[retiredfromhell]

No seriously I did try, why do you think I've been gone through all this delightful corpse business?

[ Well, actually it had been for his own business. Avoiding Castiel and Dean while they worked out their UST has just been a bonus. ]