hadriel | [voice]

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[voice]

[ You might be enjoying your evening, relaxing and trying to unwind after all that butt-crap that's been going down in the City lately, huh? Well that's all about to change as a rather loud young lady graces the network on your devices. She needs some supplies and isn't shy about asking for them. ]

HELLOOOO BITCHES!!

[ Let's hope non of you have headphone and are wearing them for this one. ]

Ight! I'mma get straight to the point like ma' name was Zero. I needs one of yous fine ladies to do me a flava! Y'get me? MMM!

[ Just to clarify, when she says 'ladies' she's not really specifying, she kind of calls everyone a lady soooo... ]

I needs someone whos all up and gots fingers that was crafted by the God's themselves~ Heavenly divine digits that could dissemble ass hairs off a fly and have it say "Oh~ that tickles, may I have another~?"

[ She's getting distracted, bear with her. ]

I've got the wood and shizz, just need someone who is good with the human form. Otherwise deez characters are all up and gonna be rabbit styled! OH and some dice!! Gurls can't get her game on without the D's yo!

[ In summary; Tina would like to enquire if anyone has any experience whittling wood. She's trying to make some figures for a game she'd like to play. ]

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[ He seriously doubts that he is a 'bitch', such name calling is usually reserved for a very special type of woman. Armand's a little old fashion like that. But he's been called 'pretty as a girl' before, so he rolls with it.

There's amusement in his voice when he asks his next question. ]

And what would this story be?

[ Believe me, from Tina? It's a compliment! ]

I can give yoo a lil sneak preview butts I can't be givin' away no spoilers foo! Ahem~!

[ She clears her throat before setting the scene for her listener. ]

The murdercave was dark and foggy, the earth smelt like butts and dead people. All was silent UNTIL!

[ She starts making some 'monster' noises and a little beat boxing because she distracted herself...]

Out of nowhere! Or possibly somewhere else!? Our hero's emerged! With weapons made of diamonds and junk, mostly junk! And magical wear like non other you've seen in your lyfe boi! Entering the battle, a stand of to end all stand offs! -- Annnd that's enough of a teaser for you gurl! Can't give all the goodies away right up front, if ya know what I'm sayin'

[ You can't see her on the other end of the device, but she's bouncing about excited as she pictures the game she's been setting up and imagining. [

Gonna be so freakin' awesome~ Gotta catch some monsters too, uh woopsie... Should have added that in mah requesth huh?

[ She can't see it, but he wrinkles his nose at her 'colourful' description. Everyone he knows likes to tell a story lovingly, seducing the reader into another time and place. This narrative leaves something to be desired. And why on earth is she making those sounds with her mouth? Kids these days. ]

That was gripping. If I have this right, you need real monsters to fight your toys?

[ He'll take 'bad ideas' for 500, Alex. ]

[ In Tina's head, she could picture a land of fantasy and adventure, the way those images were put into words however, well, yeah, she's not the best with words but still! You got the picture if it made you wrinkle your nose in disgust. ]

Mhm! BINGO! Give the lady a prize!! Ding ding ding! Imma need all kindsa monstas too! Big, small, sexy, butt ugly, butt clentchingly scary, misunderstood oh oh and mimics! Gurls gotta have a trap every now and again!

[ If he helps her find real, live monsters, she will love him and be in his debt forever! ]

Oh! And I need supplies for my weapons too... I've only got so much that I had on me from home y'know.

[ Sexy?! Who the hell looks at a monster and thinks 'sexy'. This kid sounds a little off their rocker.

But he does want to try the GPS Confusion gave them... Even after his fight with Carlisle, Armand is sure he can handle a monster or two. ]

All right. I will help you find monsters.

[ And maybe he will see if he can drink a monster's blood. That would be most fortunate. ]

What kind of weapons do you require? I would of course prefer you to be outfitted if we are going to be doing anything dangerous.

Edited 2016-10-06 18:26 (UTC)

[ Hey! Tina's seen plenty of curvy and sensual monsters back in Pandora... well actually no, she's just got a warped sense of almost everything so... Yea, probably no one thinks monsters are sexy... ]

OHMAHGOSH!! You sir, are actually legit a legend!

[ Happy little squeeing noises can be heard from Tina's side of the device, as she jumps about in joy! Monster hunting is always more fun when there are people there to help. ]

Oh I'm cool for weapons, I got Mooshy Snugglebutts and Felicia Sexopants, plus Boom Puppy and a couple'o elemental grenades foo! I just need metals and oils and shizz to make more ammo.

[ Oh hey, she called him a sir. He's smiling a little.

That smiling turns to confusion. Is she naming her weapons? That must be it. She would not have pets with such names... would she? ]

Do you know where you can get more? I hear the gods provide such things but I am rather reluctant to engage their services myself. They seem to be unhappy every time we enter the tunnels.

[ That's right! Tina had names for all of her wacky weapons! The first two are large rabbit toys, soft and plush apart from their explosive insides and Boom Puppy is a bright pink grenade launcher that fires bouncing grenades, isn't that nice?! ]

No~pe! Normaliez I'd just scavenge for mah tings! Buuut if the God's like to treat over trick, dems might be able to giv'is what I need!

[ A pause. ]

Uh why don't they like us goin' in the tunnels? That's where they keep the best stuffs!!!

They seem to be true to their word, even Confusion. I'm sure asking could not hurt?

[ Yeah Tina, go find out what happens then report back. Armand's the best. ]

According to Confusion the tunnels were made to protect the gods from whatever killed them. Perhaps they are afraid we would unwittingly unleash this force back into the cave if we explored too deep. That is just speculation of course.

[ Tina takes a long moment before replying. If you listen close, you'll hear her muttering under her breath the gasp in excitement. ]

So there's sumfin in the tunnels huh~? Ya sure deez God's ain't telling porkie-pies? What if they're try'na stop us going in there because they're hidin' shizz from us! Like a motherload of crumpets! OR ... Or a Vault Key!?

I doubt they'd go through so much trouble to hide a crumpet. Or a key. However I do think it's worth exploring.

[ Because the people here are too Good to drink from and god is he thirsty for blood. Any blood, even monsters will do. ]

Nah, nahnahnahnahnahnah! Do NOT underestimate the pawah of the crumpets son! I would give my arms and legs to protect the buttery delicious bastards! Huuug~ so delish! And Hello~ where else would'ya hide a Vault key? Then in the most hardest of places to get to!? The most forbidden of hiding holes!?

[ She's got the notion in her head now, that the tunnels hide a Vault Key somewhere adn why wouldn't they!? ]

[ Armand has never eaten a crumpet, so he is immune to it's buttery deliciousness.

But he supposes there's no way around addressing the second thing. ]

What is a vault key?

[ Tina doesn't know what Armand actually is, or she would have forgiven him for his blasphemy towards crumpets. Also, she's not the best at explaining things like this, but she'll do her best. ]

Hm? What is it? Well it's a key, duh name kinda gives it away there. The Vault hunters normally find it in fragments, all crazy wigged out with words and shiz on them! Once pieced together they tell you the coordinates to the Vault! Tah-dah!

[ Actually, she explained that with as little fuss and fancy as she could. Well done Tina, she'll pat herself on the back for that later. ]

A vault? Like a safe? Is there money inside?

Pffff~ hell if I know! Sometimes its shizz like materials, now I'm talkin' rare as a white gurl with a black gurls badonkadonk kinda rare loot! Annnnd other times sure, its lodza credits and stuff! I even hurd that one time, it was a portal!

So, they are places to hide away valuable items. That might not be such a farfetched idea.

Mhm! The Vault Hunters go coo-coo for 'em! And I help them find them... Sometimes...

[ She was more of a hindrance than a help, but she liked to think it was the other way around. ]

Dont'cha got them where you're from? That must be boring~

There are hunters? I am imagining a land of Indian Joneses, all gambolling about trying to find the loot worthy of a fortune.

[ He pauses for a moment. He's never really admitted this before. ]

No, but I have done treasure hunting in the past. It was addictive. I never could get enough.

[ He pretty much just summed it up! If he ever got to meet Mordecai or even Jack! he'd agree. ]

Mhm! Pretty much the only peeps that live on good ol' Pandora are Vault hunters now-a-days!

[ She curious now. ]

Oh yea? Whatcha hunt for?! Me I prefer the more big badda-boom kinda deal. Screw lookin' for vaults all careful and shit! Imma just show up with a bomb and KABOOM!! ... Quicker and way cooler. Mhm! Mhm!

Pandora? Is that the name of your home?

[ Armand actually laughs. It's the name of his old master's consort. It was rather amusing. ]

Priceless necklaces. Lost paintings. That sort of thing. It was their monetary value I desired, not the things themselves, you understand.

[ It takes him a moment to decipher that. ]

And this gained you treasure?

It's the planet I'm from, soooo yea.

[ He was kinda cool, the stuff he listed off wasn't unheard off, but mostly it was a bigger reword the Vault hunters were after. ]

So what, like, yoo only liked the things for a short while? Did yoo sell 'em on to someone else or summit? And yea! If yoo got into a vault yoo pretty much set yourself up! Thing is, some peeps get hooked on the thrill of lookin' for 'em and shizz.

Ah. Mine would be 'Earth'.

[ Armand is quiet for a moment, thinking of Daniel. All the lengths he went through to keep the boy comfortable and in a bubble of wealth. How little he had cared for it. ]

Yes, I sold them to buyers who drowned me in money. I became very wealthy. Enough to buy my own island.

I can see the appeal of these vaults. What would you hide in one?

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