hadriel | [Video]

[Silence on his end.]

Right.

[They've lost a lot of people, but this one hits too close to the heart for Maketh. He's not sure how he'd take it if he were in her shoes.]

You know where I am. Get some rest, all right?

Of course.

[She's quiet a moment.]

It's better like this. She had--a good future.

That doesn't mean she couldn't have had something here, too.

[Maketh exhales roughly.]

It would be--selfish, to keep her here. All this place does is hurt people.

[No one is here by choice.]

I...I had this. For a moment. It was mine. And that must be enough.

[He knows this isn't what she probably wants to hear, but—]

Don't lose sight of what his place could be, Maketh. Maybe not for us, but for others.

I don't wish to be foolish. There must be more practical concerns now.

[She's learned her lesson.]

It's not foolish to want to make this place more than a prison.

I believed that for a time.

[It made her weak.]

There must be other concerns now.

[Disappointment trickles into his voice.]

So are those who still believe that not worth fighting for?

Edited 2016-10-09 20:37 (UTC)

[The Imperial in her would have had things to say about that, once. Only those who believe the proper things may live. Everyone else must, inevitably, suffer until they reach enlightenment.]

Of course everyone here is worth fighting for. To the very end.

[She exhales slowly.]

But I forgot myself. What I am. I will not do that again. This place is a prison and will never be anything else. It must be conquered. Everyone who is able will go home.

[Afterwards, she'll die. She's been dead the whole time. It's foolish to think otherwise. This is penance and duty.]

I am an Officer of the Imperial Court. I will do my duty.

Everyone who is able will go home, but what about those who can't? And those who wouldn't?

Edited 2016-10-09 20:49 (UTC)

Are you speaking for yourself?

[Or Rey?]

I don't know. I will do what I can to protect them. But you must know the gods will never be reasoned with. This place will never be safe so long as we are under their command.

[There's a pause on his end after that first question. He'd have been able to say it was for Rey before, but now...]

I'm aware of how the gods are, Maketh. But that's why we keep fighting. This place can be better, and can be more than what it is, but not if we don't work toward it. The same goes for you.

[He doesn't like all this Imperial talk.]

I don't believe it can.

[She did, once. For a moment she'd had hope that Hadriel could become something for all of them. A home for those who had been lost. She'd had dreams, first seen in Hope's mirror and then later, with Lilith. It only made the ending hurt more.]

We have to be realistic about our objectives now. Even if it means making sacrifices. At least some of the people will live.

[She won't, but that's hardly the point.]

[Another sigh, then he cuts to a private channel.]

Maketh, you lost someone close to you, but don't do this.

I am doing what I must. [What should have been done from the start.] Surely you see the logic in this.

What I'm seeing is you going back to who you were before you came here. I wouldn't say that's an improvement.

Edited 2016-10-09 22:43 (UTC)

I have a clarified objective. That is the only thing that matters.

It's not, and you damn well know it.

I was deceiving myself before. I thought I could be someone else, but I cannot. This is an abject lesson.

[She's quiet a moment.]

I am sorry to disappoint you.

[All he's said has been outright honesty, but his voice softens.]

Look. I know it hurts right now. Losing someone isn't easy. [A slight pause.] It never is. And neither is picking up the pieces and moving on, but it's something you have to do. Giving up all hope on this place, the people who live here, yourself -- that's what's easy, but that isn't what's right.

[It takes Maketh a while to respond. Then:]

I wish I was not so tired, all the time.

Working yourself to death so you don't have think about her isn't the answer.

[There's genuine sympathy in his voice; he knows what this is like.]

You're as trapped here as the rest of us. If you don't look after yourself, how can you look after those who need you?

[Then what is? But perhaps that's a foolish question.]

I will always do what I need to.

Then don't give up on this. Some of the people here need better than what they've got waiting for them back home. You do, too.

[He reiterates something he's said to her before.]

We can't afford to lose you, Maketh. Not this Imperial Officer, but someone who has been leading the Guard despite all that's happened. Someone who really cares about this place and the people here. Someone who thinks that even an old synth like me can make a difference.

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