nine ✤ text

[lingeringhope]

You may have noticed some abnormal behavior regarding the Door. Normally it doesn't bring in anything so large, and we did not expect it to do so this time. Delight and I have been attempting to alter the Door to send you home, as you have so often requested, but as I have said again and again, we have very little knowledge in this area. We will try again.

My appreciation for those who slew the dragons. We did not intend on their arrival, and I would be willing to grant you a favor in return for your efforts - if it's within my power, and not too foolish.

Comments

[lingeringhope]

I spend all my time keeping you alive. If I cut loose, you'll probably all starve and be eaten by monsters.

[ishotyouuu]

not all of us ;)

srsly i get it

its no fun being the babysitter

espceikally wjhen the ppl ur wwatching hate u

im jussayin it wouldnt kill u to try a little tenderness every once in a while

maybe get to know us a ltitle more

i mean were in this mess together theres no reason we gotta be shitheads to eahc other right

[lingeringhope]

I have tried. What would you suggest?

[ishotyouuu]

can u call me

drunsk fingers are drunk

[lingeringhope]

Ah, you are impaired.

[And he switches to video.]

Is this better?

[Video -1/2]

[ishotyouuu]

Yeah that's--

[2/2]

[ishotyouuu]

[....

.......]

Holy shitballs dude. Is every god in this place a fuckin' hottie?

[lingeringhope]

We chose our forms in an attempt to be reasonably pleasing to look at, if that's what you mean.

[ishotyouuu]

You definitely overshot, if that's the case. Goddamn.

[Wade are you just gonna flirt with every god here until you score with one of them--]

Sooo... if I'm allowed to ask a personal question, what do you guys actually look like, then?

[lingeringhope]

Much more attractive than this. I don't understand why you need so many fingers. And toes as well - it's rather excessive.

[ishotyouuu]

Okay, now you got me all intrigued. At the risk of sounding... y'know... hypocritical and shit, any chance I might be able to see the real you somewhere down the line?

[Completely hypocritical coming from a guy who wears a mask.]

[lingeringhope]

Perhaps eventually. I find this form to be much easier for communicating with you, however.

[ishotyouuu]

I'll show you mine if you show me yours, jussayin'.

[Yeah because that's an enticing offer, Wade.]

Anyway. Back to my main point. I haven't been here long, but it seems t'me that you're only poppin' in on the network when there's a massive shitshow on the horizon. I'm not sayin' to, y'know-- stop doing that, but like... maybe work on your small talk a little bit? Try an' be more approachable, that kind of thing.

No one likes a leader who's too standoffish and only has bad news to report, know what I'm sayin'? Who knows-- you guys might actually be able to relate to us a little more.

Just a suggestion.

[lingeringhope]

You think I should talk to people more? Be more approachable. Hmm. I have not gotten positive responses when I have attempted to contact people more often, and small talk is not a skill I'm practiced at.

However, I appreciate the advice and I will take it into consideration.

[ishotyouuu]

You probably still won't. Some people are just ornery, y'know? Just try to keep at it, though. From my experience, people generally appreciate an overlord who ain't stand-offish.

An' if you need help with small talk you can always chat with me. For practice, or something. I was practically vaccinated with a phonograph needle-- I never shut up.

[lingeringhope]

I don't know what a phonograph needle is, but I will keep your offer in mind. I am not particularly interested in cultivating friendships among all of you, but it wouldn't go amiss to be more approachable.

[ishotyouuu]

[Wow, guy. That comment earns Hope a narrowed-eyed look from the merc.]

Heh. I hear ya loud and clear, buddy. God forbid we actually start to like you too much.

Just think about what I said, okay? No reason to make this any more painful than it needs to be.

[...Holier-than-thou bag of dicks.]

[lingeringhope]

I'll think about it. I simply don't have time for friendships, nor am I very good at them, but you present an interesting point.

[ishotyouuu]

Not gonna get any better at 'em if you don't try, y'know.

I'm not sayin' you need to add everyone on Facebook, but it might make your job a little easier if less people were inclined to crawl up your ass every time you had some news to report.

Just food for thought.

[He's extending the olive branch here Hope don't be a douche]

[lingeringhope]

[He has no idea what Facebook is.]

Yes, you seem to know what you're talking about. You must be quite good at friendships.

[ishotyouuu]

[You're insanely lucky. Facebook is pretty much like the DMV of the internet without actually providing a civic service.]

Oh heck yeah. I got a ton of friends. Par for the course when you've got a winning personality like mine.

[Also, that better not be sarcasm there, Hope. Self-burns are all well and good, but if you're gettin' fresh you might just win yourself a liberal libation of urine in that temple of yours.]

[lingeringhope]

Yes, that would make sense. You do seem rather adept at it.

[There is not one single trace of sarcasm.]

That sort of thing isn't my strong point.

[ishotyouuu]

Could give you more pointers, if you ever need 'em.

Maybe we could meet somewhere an' I can be your soundboard for testin' out your diplomacy skills? If that's a thing you guys can do, I mean.

...Meeting up, that is. In person.

[Wade ur drunk stop trying to get the gods to hang out with you]

[lingeringhope]

Others do. Delight can often be found at her bar. I generally do not. I have a lot to do.

[He's a busy man. God. Whatever.]

However, I thank you for the offer.

[ishotyouuu]

Hey, no prob. Offer still stands to hit me up whenever you need any quick "Talking to People 101" lessons.

Or if you just wanna shoot the shit. Social insensitivity aside, you ain't such a bad dude after all.

[Let's hope you still feel that way when you're sober, Wade.]