I'm Just A Soul Whose Intentions Are Good | Video| OTA

[ushahin]

[The first thing is that the phone has been propped between two branches on a tree in the orchard. Ushahin needs both hands for the task at hand. He's trying to peel a piece of fruit that has a bright purple skin on it. The problem is that if he tries to use his good hand to peel, his bad one can't hold onto it firmly enough, so it falls. If he tries to use his bad hand to peel while his good hand holds, his crippled fingers don't have enough force to break the skin. He'll be trying both methods alternately as he speaks in his usual soft tone.]

I was thinking tonight. A dangerous pastime, to be certain, but what I was thinking was this. How many of us who have been brought here are good? [He pauses, trying to get his nails under the skin, and he fails.]

I would ask how many of you here think you are a good person but-- [And there goes the fruit again, falling out of his bad left hand. He sighs and picks it back up.] --I don't think many of us have that high of a opinion of ourselves. I know I don't. [He's shattered too many minds and killed far too many people to think he's still got a soul anywhere close to being pure.]

So I will ask this. How many of you think those who are here with you are good people? Your family and friends, how many of them are good souls? [The fruit slips from his grasp once again.]

Damn. [He's given up trying to do this the nice, neat way. He ends the video by using his good hand for support, then biting down into the peel, and using his teeth to tear it partially off. It's not the most dignified method of being able to peel the fruit, but at this point, he's too stubborn to give up.]

Comments

[tongueamok]

[Even not looking at Ushahin, Carlisle can feel his gaze burning into him. He considers hanging up, if for no other reason than to escape that feeling.]

I should think that is answer enough.

[It doesn't take a mind-reader or a dream-walker to pick up on his implication. Of course, anyone who may be either of those things could know well enough how the clergyman feels about himself. He has abilities that can be used for good, but so often, he spends his sleeping hours viewing himself as a monster, as something irredeemable in the eyes of his fellow man.]

[ushahin]

[Ushahin blinks, the pupil in his bad eye losing focus, that burning look finally broken. Tsk. Such a predictable answer. People do seem to follow the same patterns over and over again, even if he is the only one to see it.]

At least you are aware of your shortcomings. There is nothing so terrible as the man who believes with all of self-righteousness that he is good and pure while his fellow men are all wicked and cruel.

[tongueamok]

I suppose it could be worse, then.

[Though he often feels he is nothing but shortcomings.]

[ushahin]

Precisely. Possibly, you are even doing a better job than you think. Ask your friends...

[He pauses and tilts his head.]

...You do have friends, don't you?

[tongueamok]

[A flash of indignance crosses him.]

Wh- yes, yes I do.

[A pause.]

... I suppose.

[ushahin]

You don't know for certain? My, my.

[He tuts, his amusement hidden by his dry tone.]

I would find out if I were you. It's important to know where you stand with people.

[tongueamok]

[His irritation continues.]

It is easier to assume we are acquaintances, at the very least.

[Asking such things is embarrassing, and admitting it aloud makes him worry they will be lost to him eventually, as they should be. He is cursed, after all.]

[ushahin]

[Ushahin waves Carlisle's words away like they're smoke in the air.]

Everyone has acquaintances. Even the poorest and most isolated soul in the world can say they know someone. Friends are something else entirely.

[tongueamok]

Not everyone deserves them.

[ushahin]

And what have you done that's so terrible, hmmm? Have you slaughtered innocent souls where they stand?