hadriel | Third ☂ Text

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Many of you seem to be unhappy.

We don't all necessarily want you to be happy, but acceptance and adaptation to your situation would be a start. The only question that remains is: how?

It is clear to us that your species resolves many issues through communication. Unfortunately, none of us understand the human psyche as clearly as others of your species, and so I leave it to you to communicate with and to help one another.

You may consider this post an open forum in which you can discuss what's been bothering you. In turn, I will conceal your identities, so that you may help one another without preconceived biases. If you'd like to reveal yourselves to one another, the option is there, but unnecessary.

Heal. Recover.

I'll leave you to it.

[[This is an event post for the Never Log In event! Remember, characters are compelled to get things off of their chest here, as well as to help others- and of course, please stay oocly logged in for your comments!]]

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Yes, I have. While he hasn't pushed me away entirely I've come to the realization that it is actually my fault. It's not the manner of which I acted but it is at the same time.

Well, if he hasn't pushed you away entirely, then... maybe it's not that bad? If it's your fault, fix it, however that may be.

[Yukari's going off of his personal feelings here, what he would do if he managed to upset Curufin. Despite that his own feelings are romantic and this guy's may be simply platonic.]

Maybe surprise him or something. Make him dinner. I don't know, whatever he likes.

In the end, though, if this is your true nature, it makes no sense to keep hiding it. We all have dark sides. Your friend, too.

There's a difference though, you see. They haven't pushed me away because I haven't let them. I've learned more about this person than I would've liked to if only because now I know that a simple dinner isn't going to fix things. It may never be fixed. It's worth the effort. It always is. Sort of. Or at least I think it will be. If I followed my true nature. If I listened to what I should, what my family says I should, almost all of you would be dead already. I could kill everyone here in roughly one minute if not stopped.

[Yea, Yukari's had no experience bending over backwards to appease someone.]

And you like them enough to fight your true nature?

[Very strange concept for Yukari, that one. Still, it's admirable that this guy is actually doing something about it, rather than crying like half the babies on this network.]

If you're willing to fight it, then it may not be your true nature. Just because it's a part of you doesn't mean it defines you. Whatever you've done. You should be what you want to be, no exceptions. If he stands in the way of that, then you should move on. But, if I didn't know any better, this guy gives you a reason to be honest with yourself, hmm?

I stopped fighting a very long time ago to get people to like me. It's honestly on them if they continue to judge you. But, if you find him worth fighting for, then do so with passion. There is no other excuse. Give it your all or don't. Whether he comes around or not is not your choice.

Of course I do. I enjoy the company of my friends. I enjoy life to the fullest including what I can take from it. Your words unfortunately do not help me but then I wasn't expecting anyone's words to actually help. This is all pointless. Anonymous only gives another mask to hide what we are. We'll only give advice on what our experiences are and not what someone may need. My drive will always push me. You're life must be rather lonely.

You're rather admirable, Anon-chan. Definitely one of the more respectable people on here.

Yes, I suppose that's to be expected. At least it wasn't some cheesy line like believe in yourself and it will magically happen.~ The Gods don't seem to know what they're doing most of the time, this would certainly be no different. Drive is a beautiful thing, though. [He actually kind of hopes things work out for this guy. Not that he'll admit that outloud.]

I most certainly am not lonely! [Excuse you!]

I want to say I don't see a point in any of this but it does clarify a lot of things I wouldn't normally get out. Not to mention if anyone sees and thinks for a moment then it satisfies and fixes something. Oh, did I hit a nerve? You'll excuse me if I entertain that notion. If you cast aside everyone that judges you I can't imagine you have many around you via friends or family.

[Yukari feels like he's being pinned in a corner and he doesn't like it. He could, could mention he has a lover. But, given that he's been recognised by his -chan suffix before, he's not about to admit that he has one openly. He stubbornly takes a moment to gather his thoughts before replying.]

So what if I don't? That doesn't make one's existence lonely.

[Sorry, he has a way of getting under people's skin literally and metaphorically.]

It would be for me. To not have anyone around. Even if I enjoy killing and doing what I do in my world it would be for nothing if I didn't at least have someone around me that I enjoy having around because of their company. If I pushed everyone away because they simply judged me I would have this very problem.

I wouldn't call it that I push away, I just don't care. If people get close, that's up to them, but people don't generally like me. I'm just not bending over backwards to change that. I haven't found anyone worth changing for, if I ever ridiculously thought I should do so. [Namely that Curufin condones Yukari's behaviour. So that's not encouraging him to change any time soon.] I'm okay with being hated. You're just more apt to be social.

I guess what is keeping me up at night is that I do care in some way about this person even if I barely know them. The choices we make and the people we meet shape us. If I didn't care at all things would be far different. Make no mistake. I doubt I'll change but I can suppress. To change completely would mean my entire drive would have to disappear all together and that isn't possible. Someone has tried in the past and from I was told it didn't end well. But you're right. I am rather social. I've been made to be social. It is what I am.

So it's an act of nature versus nurture.

If you'll allow me to look at this another way, if you're trying so hard, why aren't they trying back? I may not be social, but even I know that any form of relationship is a two way street. There has to be a carrot, as well as a stick. Will you just keep trying no matter how bad it gets?

It's all fine if you try, but isn't there a point where it's just beating a dead horse?

Yes. The effort may not be worth it at times even when things like this are just optional but I rather like this person. I'm not going to let them go just yet. Not without trying all that I can. Again, yes there is. Yet I haven't been told I can't pursue them so there is still an option of becoming friends.

Hmm. Sounds like he's rather lucky, then. I've found such devotion to be rare in all my years. Humanity tends to be fickle. I've seen people come and go over the smallest of things, so it's rather interesting to see anyone who strives to keep it.

Good luck in all of your dedication. Nothing is more beautiful than obtaining what you work so hard for.

I like to treat my friends well. Bitter arguments and fights won't stop something so easily. I enjoy their company. Thank you.

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