hadriel | [text]

(Which results in more smacking away of the hand. Except this time he grabs at Peter's hand to shove it away.)

Says you of all people. King of pet names.

That just means I know how to properly classify them, kitten. 'Baby' is not a nickname for anybody whose pants you aren't trying to get into. In the sexy way, not in the 'my pants are all dirty so I'll borrow Peter's and walk around with my ankles hanging out' way.

(For a solid minute, like a literal actual solid minute, Newt just kind of gapes at Peter. Then it seems like realization dawns on him because slowly but surely, his face begins to go bright, bright red and oh- Oh.

It was a whammy of embarrassment and realization and everything in between. If Peter had been a girl it'd be so much more obvious but- Right.)

Boys can have sex with boys.

(Except he sort of more or less asks it than just states it, looking at Peter completely bewildered. It's evident he knows what sex is but okay yeah. What. Why is this conversation happening.

Another sort of realization seems to crawl over him and he snaps his mouth shut, frowning deeply up at the ceiling.)

Oh my God.

[newt's fish impression just leaves peter looking quizzical, until he finally speaks.]

Yes, they can.

[it's equal parts confused and wary, because what the hell, newt. what the hell. peter had just assumed that this was established knowledge, given that he'd been play-flirting his little blond head off for weeks now.]

Wait. Wait, did you not know that? Oh my god, blondie.

Oh my God, shut up!

(He's equal parts mortified and angry and kicks Peter underneath the trouble for his troubles.)

I've never- would you fuck off?

(He snarks a bit before sinking back into his seat and slumping a little.)

It's never come up? Okay? All the boys at the Glade talked about were girls if it had to do with that. I didn't- just. Shut up. It's not my fault.

Ow.

[peter scowls and rubs his shin under the table. why is this even happening. what is his life. he sighs and rubs his hands over his face.]

Yeah, it's not your fault. Plenty of people who don't end up in a weirdo maze don't figure it out either.

But I think you need a couple minutes to figure that shit out.

[which means that he's grabbing another two cookies and his glass of milk, and fucking off toward the bedroom to leave newt some space to think.]

Hey, what the hell- I didn't mean actually fuck off!

(He calls after him because Peter what the heck. You're supposed to teach him things. He has no clue why he's so pissed off but it pissed him off. That Peter just ditched.)

Whatever.

[newt says he didn't actually mean for him to fuck off and peter stops just outside the doorway, out of his view. he pauses there for a long moment, and then sighs. what the fuck, life, what the fuck.

peter turns around and leans against the doorway, cookies and milk in hand.]

Then what did you mean? Because most people want a minute or ten alone to think after they realize something like that.

(Newt frowns at him and he's still a little pissed off but it ebbs away a bit at the sight of Peter.)

Why do they need a minute to think? I just didn't know. Don't ditch me just because I'm surprised by something. It makes me feel like a bigger idiot for not knowing something that I should have already known, okay?

(That was more than half his embarrassment, actually. That and yanno, the actual realization part didn't help any either.)

Because...they just do, okay? It's not something that's so easy for everyone to accept, because a lot of people grow up thinking it's weird or whatever. They need to just...rethink who they are, I guess.

[this hits just a wee bit close to home, perhaps. he's slow to come back to the table, but he does, slouching into a chair and dunking one of his cookies.]

I guess you don't really have that problem, since you never had to think about it in the first place.

(Newt's frowning because he really doesn't get it. To some degree, Newt isn't much better than a child. He's forgotten any preconceived notions about others he might've been raised with. He's still blushing a little but it's clear that it's fading away more than just being there. He leans forward and drops his chin into his palm, looking thoughtful.)

Why's it weird?

(Because he really can't wrap his mind around that.)

I mean it surprised me but it makes sense. I'm sure girls can be with girls then too.

(He doesn't say anything on that matter. It wasn't completely true. He was still a teenage boy so of course he had thought about it. His eyes drift down to the table and he doesn't reply.)

Do you think it's weird?

Anybody can be with anybody. Hell, three or four or a whole bunch of people can have sex at the same time. It happens. But...religion and shit. [he waves a hand in a way that encompasses a lot of things, most of which probably won't make much sense to newt.] Society likes to pretend that everything is about making babies, when it's...not. So a hell of a lot of people grow up thinking that boys being with girls is the only option.

[he's silent for a moment.]

My cousin is a hooker, sometimes, so two girls, fine. but I grew up being told that two guys was gross. I don't think it's weird or gross anymore.

Religion...(He mumbles the word quietly, like he understands it but only the most general basics. It somehow just makes sense- at least that part. He doesn't think too hard about multiple people having sex- that doesn't make much sense to him but hey.

He turns his gaze to Peter and for some reason, he feels oddly sad. Not really for himself but for Peter and he rubs at the side of his own head, frowning.)

I'm sorry.

[the apology just makes peter look befuddled, and he takes a bite of his cookie.]

Sorry for what? You didn't do anything wrong.

(Newt shrugs, still frowning.)

I don't know. It just seems.....It seems like a bad thing to do. Tell a kid something completely natural is gross like that. It's sad. I don't know why, it just is I guess. So I'm sorry you went through that.

Oh.

[he still looks befuddled for a moment, but then he nods.]

Yeah, I guess it is pretty fucked up. That kinda thing happens a lot, though. People like to make up reasons to be better than other people, and most of them are dumb as shit. It just wasn't something I ever thought about until I had to figure it out, and I'm pretty much not about a life where I waste time thinking whatever I feel is wrong.

(Newt would ask why but he understood at least this notion pretty well. Things like homophobia and racism might not have really been relevant in the Glade or his world of little to no memory but he definitely wasn't a stranger to people thinking they were better than others.

He eventually grins a little bit and even gives a short laugh.)

No, that really doesn't seem like you. You're more the type to waste time doing things like staring off into space and scratching your wolf-beard.

(Because maybe it's okay to wander off this topic now. He feels like he gets it better. And he doesn't want to actually make Peter uncomfortable.)

[peter points his cookie at newt with a half-sort of smile that indicates that yes, he's pleased to be done with this topic. as much as he's all for helping newt understand things, this hits very close to home in a way that's nowhere near healed.]

Time spent thinking isn't wasted, kitten. You're just jealous because you can't grow a beard.

[and it is, actually, getting kind of beardy now, since he hasn't trimmed it in weeks and weeks.]

I'm fairly certain we've discussed this before. I'd look bloody awful with a beard.

(It really is getting pretty beardy. He grabs another cookie and dunks it into the milk before taking a bite out of it. He stands up then, wandering around the table to put his hand right into Peter's hair, giving a rub.)

Thanks for letting me know about stuff.

(Gentle hair musing. Followed by a smarmy:)

Babe.

(Then Newt's snickering lowly and picking up his milk glass to wander over to their cabinets, sorting through them.)

It's true that it probably wouldn't be very rugged and manly on that cat-face.

[peter leans his head back when newt rubs his hair, which has the effect of both bumping his head into newt's stomach and making him look rather puppyish, being petted like that.

then newt calls him 'babe' and peter squinches up his face and swats at newt's hand.]

I think I actually prefer pup...

[a beat.]

...kitten.

You know it's kind of upsetting that I don't even know what a cat looks like. I can't technically argue with you. You're using my own ignorance against me. That's pretty harsh.

(Except he doesn't seem all that bothered by it.

See, Peter, if you're going to react like that to head-rubs then you're going to be subjected to more future head-rubs. It's cute, okay? Newt's only human.

He has to laugh though at Peter's expression.)

Kitten's somehow better than blondie so I think I understand.

(He's pulling out random ingredients, looking at them briefly before sliding them back into the cabinets. He was pretty sure he knew how to make cookies. To an extent.)

There are monsters here that kinda look like big cats. Or maybe were, I don't know how that hunting went.

[he twists in his chair and raises an eyebrow, an effect entirely lost on newt's back.]

Kitten is better than blondie? Sometimes I don't get you, man, but okay.

(Newt only has a jist. He doesn't wholly trust it though.

Newt hums at Peter, tossing the flour back into the cabinet and turned himself around and leaned back against it. He grins a little bit at Peter, feeling rather happy about that.)

Kittens are cute.

(He makes a bit of a face after realizing what he said, his nose wrinkling up before giving Peter a look.)

Are you-

(He raises his hand before closing it into a fist and shaking his head.)

Never mind. Neither are great but...Anyway, I think I can think of how to make cookies.

Am I calling you a tiny adorable fuzzy baby animal? Yes, yes I am.

[he announces this in the least sexy way possible, which is to say in higher pitched baby talk complete with exaggerated expressions that is clearly intended to make newt laugh.]

You really are a genius, damn. Eat a cookie, remember how to make cookies. Gotta love it.

I feel like I should somehow be a little insulted by that.

(Annnnd yet Newt is laughing- good job Peter, you are completely ridiculous and Newt is weak.

His laughter trickles away and he winds up rolling his eyes, though Peter acknowledging his intelligence was always a little flattering.)

Please. I could be completely wrong. Tell me that after I make a successful chocolate chip cookie. It's mostly just a hunch, anyway.

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