hadriel | 007 [Video]

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007 [Video]

[Like the last few posts that have occurred, this is also clearly in regards to the Null's latest announcement; however, Lance is trying a different tactic, because he's doing his best to avoid getting kicked out of seeing their list. So he's wording this very carefully, and that's purposefully obvious in his tone; it's also probably pretty obvious in how intent his stare is, and in how he's casually fiddling with his FBI badge in view of the screen.

He's really hoping the Null aren't too good with subtle body language, and that the people here aren't as generally bad at it as he's concerned they are.]

In light of recent occurrences, I'd like to remind everyone that I'm a psychologist, and I have an office in the clinic should anyone wish to speak confidentially. Additionally, although I prefer to work with individuals, group meetings are also possible.

[Aka the Clinic is available for anyone who wants to have private conversations about all of this going on, and Lance will be lurking there himself both to participate and keep watch on things.]

[[ooc: Feel free to jump right to action threads, to do multi-person threads, threadjack on the network or in person, etc!]]

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[Wait, hold up--]

You live across from each other?

[That's worse than a bad idea.]

[Ephemera grimaces.]

Her name's Kyna. She's actually all right. Shitty taste. But all right. .

[Oh, he lives across from Kyna, not Washington. Okay. Moderately better.]

I know Kyna.

[Not well, but he has a positive impression of her.]

I don't think I need to tell you that commenting on her choice of boyfriend probably wasn't the best idea.

[And that he should avoid doing such a thing in the future.]

[Seems like everyone knows everyone here. Ephemera exhales sharply.]

I know that. Which is why he punched me.

[Lance watches him warily for a moment at that reaction, before deciding he's probably just frustrated and it's safe to continue.]

Then why did you choose to do it?

[It isn't accusatory; he really wants to know, or more specifically to make sure Ephemera knows.]

Because I was pissed and she was there.

[He's always been bad about that, rising to the bait too easily. Even when he knows better, he always lashes out. Returns the strike twice as hard.]

[It's not a surprising answer.]

What did you think taking your anger out on her would accomplish?

[Ephemera shifts his weight unhappily.]

Thought she'd yell or try hitting me and then we'd fight for real.

[Lance furrows his eyebrows slightly.]

Do you mean you and Washington, or you and Kyna?

Kyna.

[He blinks.]

She's got magic and shit. I wouldn't have fucked her up or anything.

That's great and all, but why would you want to fight with her in the first place?

[Now he's starting to sound disapproving again; he can't help it.]

[Ephemera just gives him a look. Isn't it obvious?]

We wouldn't be arguing anymore.

...So you started an argument with her, in hopes of getting into an actual fight, so that you wouldn't be arguing anymore?

[Is he missing something?]

I didn't mean to start the argument!

[He wanted to apologize but fucked it up. Ephemera twitches, shifting again.]

I was trying to apologize. It didn't work and she wanna fight, so that didn't work either.

[He's getting a headache, although he doesn't think he can even blame it on just this conversation. So Lance presses his fingers to the bridge of his nose briefly, sighs, and looks back up at Ephemera; his tone is more even again when he responds.]

Okay. That happens, sometimes. But it's usually best to just walk away, if the situation is devolving that quickly.

[Lance is kind of a hypocrite about this, but he still knows it's the right advice.]

[Yeah, well. Hindsight and all that shit. Ephemera shifts again, unhappily.]

I'm not good at that.

It's not easy.

[But that said--]

Maybe next time, although hopefully there won't be a next time.

[Not that that's probably likely, though.]

Yeah.

[Ephemera knows he sounds petulant, and hates that about himself.]

Maybe.

You have to decide what's really most important to you and then act on that.

[It's a reminder more than anything else; he's never going to convince Ephemera not to pick a fight just because he shouldn't, so it's going to have to come down to Ephemera making the choice not to do it for his own reasons.]

[Yeah. That.

Ephemera thinks about that for a moment, watching Sweets.]

It's hard to remember, in the moment. I get--stuck? On what's in front of me.

[Lance nods at that, finding it unsurprising.]

That's very normal, but there's only so far it extends. Lashing out initially might be very difficult to control and will take practice, but continuing afterward becomes less and less about an instinctive reaction and more about not wanting to stop yourself.

[He can easily understand someone who is not used to having to control themselves losing it briefly; it's just a human reaction, even if it's an undesirable. But that's something that has to learn to be controlled, and beyond it there's still no real excuse for.]

[Not wanting to stop.

Yeah, Ephemera thinks. That sounds right. Getting lost in the rage, letting it just happen. He did that for a long time in prison. Stayed utterly silent and solitary unless he was getting into a fight. Just waiting for an opportunity. Biding his time. Sometimes the guards bribed him with paper and charcoal so he'd stop beating them up and he'd feel like a person for a little while. It never lasted.

And now he's here.

Ephemera exhales slowly.]

How do you remember that?

[He looks away briefly.]

People are...difficult.

[Lance feels some level of sympathy, because he likes Ephemera well enough, but it's necessary to find the fine line here; he can't be too understanding, because this is absolutely not something that should be justified away by any means. Even if it's just an argument or something like that now, Lance has seen far too many times what happens when someone won't control their anger, whether they truly believe they can't or just want to use that as an excuse.

But being too harsh won't help either, and so he picks his words carefully.]

It's very rare to actually, for lack of a better term, 'black out' due to anger, fear, or otherwise. In almost all other cases, you're still thinking about what you want to do.

[He hesitates again briefly.]

You're clearly able to control your emotions when you choose to; I find it unlikely that you wouldn't be able to resist acting in anger if you were in a situation where you truly needed to do so. I also doubt it never crosses your mind that you should.

[Therefore it's ultimately up to Ephemera to listen to that voice in his head; there's nothing Lance can tell him that will make him remember to do so, because Lance really doesn't believe remembering is the real problem at all.]

[Ephemera gives Sweets a thin smile. Nothing he's saying is wrong.]

Haven't been around people for a long time. And when I did see them, talk with them, anything like that, I was--angry. All the time.

[And now he's here.]

Think it was easier. Just feeling one thing. But I can't do that here.

You seem to be doing pretty well, all things considered, aside from the anger issue.

[He means that; there are a lot of things that worry him about Ephemera's behavior, but there are also several people here who are a lot worse.

He's quiet several seconds, again considering what to suggest next; he has an idea, but it's one that he's not sure he's willing to commit to because it could be a risk. After a little time weighing the pros and cons, he decides to ask another question.]

Is there anything in particular that makes you the type of angry that gets out of hand, as opposed to being only annoyed or irritated?

007 [Video]

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