hadriel | [Voice]

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[Voice]

So, I can't be the only one who's been smacked in the face with culture shock, right? Or technology-shock, because a lot of the shit that's here I've never seen or heard of and have no idea how it works. I've figured out a couple of things through trial and error, but I'm not too proud to admit most of my reaction is still 'no fucking clue'. For those in the same boat, how long did it take you to adjust? What's the craziest discovery you've made? And for those that aren't, care to lend some advice? I'll pay you in drinks or other stuff; if you've the patience to endure all my questions, you've earned it.

I've said it elsewhere, but just repeating myself now: if you're on that hit list and not that great at defending yourself, let me know. I'm pretty damn good at that, and so is the large war dog at my side. [Said war dog lets out an eager bark.]

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I've been here two months now and I've yet to fully adjust. I think the most amazing discovery I've made so far was the can opener.

...there's a way to open cans without stabbing it with a knife??

Yes! They have it in the shop. How to describe it . . . it's like a little clamp with a turning knob and a blade on one side.

Ingenious. I'll have to look for one. Any other good kitchen stuff, while I'm at it?

[bright laugh] Honestly, I wouldn't be the one to ask. I still burn everything I try to cook.

At some point, it might just be better to go lazy and do sandwiches or something, but it's also fun to experiment with all the gadgets, you know?

Yes, I just wish that more of them came with lists of simple instructions.

I know! I've ruined too many things just guessing.

And what about all the little holes in the wall? I poked at one and it zapped me!

I think the little holes in the wall are for different electronic devices. At least I followed the line leading from my [her voice turns uncertain for a moment] lamp to a set of holes. I pulled at the line, it came out of the holes, and the lamp stopped working. I put the line back in the holes and it worked again.

[There's a pause as she goes to test this out, then chuckles as Barkspawn yelps in surprise.]

Okay, that's way more useful and fun than getting zapped. I can see myself getting way too amused by this.

[Tug it out, light goes off, push it back in, light goes on. Magic!]

[Marg waits. and is that a doggie in the background?]

Very much so! I haven't been to the shops lately, but perhaps they've included more devices we can use with the holes.

[it might as well be magic from Marg's perspective]

Barkspawn and I will have to look. It'll be like a treasure hurt, sorta.

Man, if the craftsman back at Orzammar could see all this, they'd shit themselves.

Barkspawn? Is that the dog I heard in the background?

Your home is called Orzammar?

I grew up in Orzammar, but I wouldn't exactly call it 'home'. It's a big underground city like this, only full of dwarves. We trade with humans on the surface.

And yep, Barkspawn's my dog. Say hi, boy. [Cue some friendly, eager barking.]

Dwarves? [thinks back to Tyrion Lannister] I didn't realize there were so many of you.

[Margaery coos] Oh, he sounds precious! And big!

Well, yeah? [Puzzled over here.] We're as numerous as any other race.

[She shifts to video after some fumbling, so the large dog can be easily seen, inadvertently revealing herself as well. While she's only a bit taller than Tyrion, her arms and legs are more proportionate to her size, and muscular.

Barkspawn responds to the cooing with an eagerly wagging tail and friendly bark.]

Yep, he's a trained war dog but if he doesn't have to fight anyone, he's a big softie. All he wants are treats and belly rubs.

You're a race? [is also puzzled, but rolls with it] I hadn't realized.

[takes in the appearance of both the person and the dog. clearly not a dwarf like Tyrion. and she exclaims in delight as she sees Barkspawn]

What a handsome dog! I'm sure he must be a great help in battle. And you must give him a treat on my behalf.

Yeah, we are. I thought you knew, you were talking like you'd seen dwarves before.

[She pets Barkspawn, who's looking rather smug and then immediately perks up at mention of treats.]

Fine, you bottomless pit. You'll get one. And he does, but he's also smart enough that if there's not much to do, he'll get bored and make mischief. So I have to wear him down with a lot of playtime and exploration.

No, I'm sorry to say that I didn't. What my world calls a dwarf and what your world does seem to be different.

[makes a little waving motion at the camera in Barkspawn's direction]

I'd imagine that the caves must come in terribly useful for that.

[Barkspawn tries to lick the screen, but Aren distracts him by throwing a treat. Zoom, he goes.]

Oh yeah, those areas are perfect for both of us. We can't afford to let ourselves get rusty here, not when all that shit at the colliseum will happen again, right? What a way to welcome new people. 'Here, have some monsters.'

[Margaery laughs, then turns more serious]

Indeed. I suppose I was lucky in a way. All I had to face were gigantic beetles. Terrifying at the time, but not so bad in retrospect. Not when compared to the Null.

Fuck the Null. What a bunch of cowards, trying to get us to do their work for them. If they ever show themselves, I'll let them know what I think of their trying to get us to kill kids.

If the do show themselves, I'm afraid that I'll have no choice but to hide. I've been taking lessons on swordplay, but there's no way I'll be good enough to do any good on the field.

That's okay, it should be up to those of us who've fought on the battlefield, not civilians. Sometimes the best thing you can do is keep out of the way, and wait for it to blow over. I know that pretty well.

I just worry because the man I love will be on the front lines. I wish there was something I could do to help him.

And I've been terribly rude and haven't introduced myself, haven't I? Margaery Tyrell, Queen of the Seven Kingdoms. What's your name?

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