01 | voice

[cashlin]

Hey, gang! Hope some of you didn't get maimed-slash-dismembered over the last couple weeks. [stated as breezily as ever, way to go lilith.]

Got a PSA for you all. I know alcohol sounds pretty great, especially after the wendigo crap, but don't drink the stuff in the restaurants without checking it first. I got lucky with the first one I tried-- sorta tasted like a fruit cocktail kind of thing-- but one time a bottle got knocked out of my hands and it dissolved through the floor. So, uh. Yeah.

Also, does anybody else have guns around here? Are you restocking your ammo at all or are you just... rationing it out? I've been trying to look around the armory but every weapon there's of the stabby variety. That's great and all, but you can't shoot swords out of a shotgun.

[... no one tell her.]

That's it for now. Lilith, out.

Comments

[attagirl]

[ whoah. uh. either she's forgotten, or there's some weird time travel bullshit happening here, or she's some weird clone who hasn't gotten the entire memo -- they all seem pretty much equally likely to him tbh. ]

Well, uh. You do, eventually. And then you and Roland help a bunch of Vault Hunters make a go at Handsome Jack, so, you know. It's whatever.

[cashlin]

I do? Are you trying to say you're from the future, or--

[she trails off. cue the blank look and beat of silence.]

What the hell kind of stupid name is "Handsome Jack".

fucking laughs

[attagirl]

Or you've got amnesia or something, yeah. Jeez. This is pretty weird, huh.

[ THIS IS SO WEIRD. ]

And I dunno. Kind of figure he's just compensating for, uh - [ axton gestures at his own face. ]

S A M E

[cashlin]

Uh, I do not have amnesia. I would know. [...] I mean, I wouldn't know, but-- I don't have amnesia.

So, judging from the kicking Hyperion ass thing, I'm assuming this Jack guy is an ugly Hyperion stooge who needed to get put down?

[attagirl]

I mean, how else are you gonna know you have amnesia unless someone points it out? [ he is really dogging this point, but he'll eventually move on. ]

And he's the head Ugly Stooge, actually. Did a hostile takeover of the company a little while ago. "Blah blah blah gonna rid Pandora of you evil bandit scum blah blah blah watch me blast shit with space cannons and act like a total psychopath," you know. Normal stuff. But Roland had us tryin' to keep him from opening up a vault.

[cashlin]

Because there was never a chance for me to get amnesia. You know Roland, right? He'd back me up! Since we opened the vault it's been me, him, Mordecai, and Brick-- they wouldn't play along with that bullshit, they'd tell me.

[the argument only makes about 40% sense, but she's going with it.]

He sounds like a real asshole, but how do I know you're even telling th--

Wait! Back up. Roland had you what?

[she knew it. she SO knew it.]

[attagirl]

Uh.

[ he's a little deer-in-the-headlights here. did he just accidentally spill some sort of secret? :T ]

Jack was trying to open a Vault and like - I dunno, take over all of Pandora or whatever. Roland had us stop him.

[cashlin]

Yeah, I believe that-- we've killed all kinds of assholes like that together. But you just said there was another Vault!

[sorry axton, this lilith is too young and singleminded.]

I thought the Vault only opened once every 200 years! Where's this new one? How the hell did you even find it? Don't tell me Tannis is still holding out on us!

[attagirl]

[ huh. right. it's just going to take him a little acclimating to - he's used to lilith, hardcore kind-of-leader. this is just jarring. ]

There are a ton of vaults, actually. Look, it's actually super complicated- [ no it's not, axton. ] - so just pretend I didn't say anything, yeah?

[cashlin]

Or what, we're gonna risk some sort of time paradox or whatever?

[this is so confusing. lilith huffs, and stares, hard, into the camera.]

Axton, right? I go to Sanctuary, I meet your group, and we kill this Jack guy together to stop him from screwing Pandora over and opening the Vault. Again. Or, uh, a vault.

How do I know you're telling me the truth about any of this at all?

[attagirl]

Uh.

[ axton struggles visibly for a moment - he's trying to think of something to tell her that could prove that he's telling the truth, but honestly? while he admires the fuck out of lilith, he doesn't actually know her that well.

his brow knits, and then he seems to have a eureka moment. ]

You get seriously into Bunkers and Badasses.

[ he'd heard tina telling gaige all about it. :') ]

[cashlin]

[her expression quickly moves through shocked, to blank, to grudging in a roughly ten-second span. it's a loaded silence, until--]

...Okay, I believe you.

But how the hell did you get here from the future?

[attagirl]

I don't know!

[ he also doesn't know why he's so defensive, but that doesn't change the fact that he is. ]

Probably the same way you got here from the past.

[cashlin]

Okay, well-- we'll just deal with that part later.

[handwave. axton please.]

'Least now I know that opening the Vault wasn't a total waste of time. Thanks for telling me all of this.

[attagirl]

Yeah, yeah, don't worry about it.

[ he scruffs his fingers a little awkwardly through his hair. it's weird, feeling like he's sort of on the same level as lilith instead of, you know. having her do things like "ordering him offworld to go pick up really intense and super mean vault hunters." ]

You got any other questions, or...?

[cashlin]

Sooo.

[lilith folds her hands and leans forward on her elbows. might be kind of nice to have a fellow vault hunter around who was, age-wise, more of a peer than her guys: she’d been the only one still in her 20’s.]

There’s more Vault Hunters around by the time we actually meet, huh? Must be fun. Unless you count stragglers and that crazy chick from Atlas, it was pretty much just me, Mordecai, Brick, and Roland.

[attagirl]

Yeah. I mean, not like there's a ton of us or anything, but I joined up after I got kicked outta Dahl, uh.

[ how does he even explain zer0... ]

Sal - he's a real short fella from Pandora. Kinda crazy, nuts about guns. Maya's a total badass - she's another Siren, too. Gaige is just a kid, but she's friggin' awesome.

[cashlin]

You and Roland must have a lot of stuff to talk about. Seems like a lot of you guys are going AWOL these days.

[sorry, axton-- yet again, she's tuning the bulk of what he's said out for the most important bit. another siren.]

Another Siren. Holy shit. [she's positively elated.] I can't believe another of us shows up. We do meet, right? She have the same powers as me?

[attagirl]

K... ind of? Except - not really at all, I guess.

[ wow axton a+ yes great answer there lilith will definitely be pleased by that. ]

Look, to be honest with you, I don't really get the whole Siren thing? I mean, she's got powers, but she doesn't really like - grow giant fire wings or anything like you. She does this thing she calls a phaselock? Which mostly just "holds big shit really still while we shoot it." It's the best.

[cashlin]

[the mention of her wings again confirms that he's not lying about all of this, seeing as the people who've gotten to see the wings first-hand are, excluding mordecai and brick and roland, extremely dead. BACK TO MAYA--]

In the same kind of phase energy that I use? [awesome.]

Awesome.

[awe...some... ]

[attagirl]

Yeah, she's pretty awesome. Tattoos are killer, too.

[ uhh. this is so awkward. why does she have to be from the past. ]

Sooo. Yeeeep. Sounds like you've really got a lot to look forward to!

[ don't tell her about roland he can't ever tell her about roland ever. ]

[cashlin]

Duh! She's a Siren. All of us are.

[Except maybe Steele but that was sort of a need-to-know basis. Whatever.]

Sure does. After that weird AI lied to us about the Destroyer, though, pretty much anything sounds like it'd be an improvement.

[attagirl]

Yeah. Well. I gotta go, uh. Take a shower, so. I'll see you around!

[ LMAO HE'S JUST GOING TO AWKWARDLY END THE CONVERSATION HERE sorry your castmates are so goddamn worthless lilith. ]

[cashlin]

Wait, don't hang u--

[..... ? ? ?? ?? ?? ??? ? ?? ??]

Ugh.