hadriel | 003 [Video]

[The video feed turns on to show what is probably a strange pair of people to be making a post together. It's also a really, really important post about an incredibly important subject.

Chris offers a small grin and a wave at the camera.]

Okay, so, I feel like I should say that I'm not announcing anything horrible about monsters this time. Just... Making that clear upfront.

[Is everyone relieved? Good.]

Instead, Cashmere and I are taking a super important poll.

[He glances toward Cashmere, waiting to see if she wants to continue from here.]

Very important. [ She agrees and pauses for a moment, fixing her hair in the camera. ]

I'm sure you’ve all noticed Chris and I have something special in common. So we need to know who else out there shares our special quality. Are you blonde?

[ Yes, she is serious. ]

We're here to make sure those of us who are blonde are having the most fun. If you're not having fun, we’ll think of a way to fix that.

[ She glances to Chris. Ideas?

Chris looks over at her in response, then fixes the video with a serious expression.]

Yeah. And if you are having fun, could you like... Tell us your secrets? Because that'd be pretty awesome.

[That covers the totally important stuff, he thinks. Any last remarks, Cashmere?]

Non-blondes need not reply. [ That should win some friends. ]

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[Eurgh, Hostel.]

That was a really terrible movie.

[He's lost a whole lot of fondness for horror movies after the whole debacle back home, and he didn't even like Hostel to begin with.]

Oh, yeah, it's awesome here. Tons of relaxing, fun stuff to do, and great internet.

[His own sarcasm is pretty clear as well, even though he's affecting fake enthusiasm. Hadriel's still better than being on the mountain, but it's been trying really hard to lose that status lately.]

It made good points about people. [ which should say something about Sharon's trust in humanity. ]

It's a 5 star vacation destination. [ 5 shit soaked stars. ] We need a Yelp in this place.

I wouldn't go that far.

[He's pretty sure the point of Hostel was masking a lack of plot with violence, and a side helping of 'some people suck'. Which is nothing new.]

Hey, we could totally use the network for a Yelp sort of thing. I'd love to see the reviews people would right here.

[Store was abandoned. Full of junk. Last month had human meat in the food! 0 of 5 stars.]

[ it was violent, and gory, and at points just disgusting and horrid to be disgusting and horrid, but sharon likes anything that leans towards exposing the disgusting truth of humanity.

look. she. has. shopped. at hot topic. ]

I think most of the reviews would be the same, with some varying levels of witty. Zero stars for everything, from everyone.

Pretty much. Though there'd probably be that one guy that votes everything up either out of delusion or just to mess with people.

[There's a few candidates for who that might be, too.]

So, we'd also get dumbasses and trolls? That sounds like a normal group of Yelp reviewers to me.

Yeah, it'll be all familiar and whatever. Just like home.

Thinking about that, it might be best if we cancel the whole Yelp idea. I already want to murder a good chunk of the people here, don't really want to make it worse.

[ it sounds kind of like a joke, but it's not entirely ]

[He doesn't make the comment he's thinking of, because it would be uncalled for and he's trying to pretend the argument he and Sharon had during the wendigo event didn't happen at all.]

Yeah, I don't think any of us need anything else that pisses us off. Good reviews could be really helpful though, so maybe some sort of like, static post people could respond to could work.

[Maybe. Mostly he wants to do something useful.]

That's full of good, bullshit reviews? Nah. People want to bitch. [ the nature of humanity or some shit ] It'd get like, ten comments, and then fizzle out.

Well okay, maybe not good, but like... If someone found something useful in one of the stores they could share the info or whatever.

And it's not like people don't get all their bitching out on the network already, so.

Like a... Fuck, what's that site? Craigslist?

Sort of, but with less scams or creepy guys.

Though Fear might be such a creepy guy that he counts for a bunch of them.

[ he may be able to hear some amusement in her voice. ]

Yeah, I think he fills our quota of scammers and creeps for sure. He may as well be our resident troll.

Let's be real, he's so the serial killer that lures people in with free stuff and meets them at 2 AM in a McDonalds parking lot and they're never heard from again.

Hey, anyone going to McDonalds at 2 AM to meet some shady fuck probably wasn't going to live much longer anyway.

Yeah, but still.