003 [Video]

[thechoiceisyours]

[The video feed turns on to show what is probably a strange pair of people to be making a post together. It's also a really, really important post about an incredibly important subject.

Chris offers a small grin and a wave at the camera.]

Okay, so, I feel like I should say that I'm not announcing anything horrible about monsters this time. Just... Making that clear upfront.

[Is everyone relieved? Good.]

Instead, Cashmere and I are taking a super important poll.

[He glances toward Cashmere, waiting to see if she wants to continue from here.]

Very important. [ She agrees and pauses for a moment, fixing her hair in the camera. ]

I'm sure you’ve all noticed Chris and I have something special in common. So we need to know who else out there shares our special quality. Are you blonde?

[ Yes, she is serious. ]

We're here to make sure those of us who are blonde are having the most fun. If you're not having fun, we’ll think of a way to fix that.

[ She glances to Chris. Ideas?

Chris looks over at her in response, then fixes the video with a serious expression.]

Yeah. And if you are having fun, could you like... Tell us your secrets? Because that'd be pretty awesome.

[That covers the totally important stuff, he thinks. Any last remarks, Cashmere?]

Non-blondes need not reply. [ That should win some friends. ]

Comments

text

[thechoiceisyours]

Wow Em are you feeling left out or something?

[...Also hopefully she'll take that as the joke it's meant to be.]

[unfollowing]

[Jesus Christ Chris she's not an idiot.]

you're goddamn five years old, you know that?

[thechoiceisyours]

[He's still figuring out how much he can mess with Emily without resulting in hurt feelings and/or death. Both of which would probably be on his end.]

Uh, I'm pretty sure my ID says I'm nineteen.

Also do we have any coffee left? If not I'll see if I can find any before I head back home.

[unfollowing]

[Enjoy this grace period of Emily trying (a little) not to fight with you for every little thing while it lasts.]

please, like josh never got you a fake one. don't insult me with that level of stupidity

bring some back. bring good stuff if you can get any

[If she can't have Hacienda La Esmeralda, she'll settle for Starbucks.]

[thechoiceisyours]

[He will definitely enjoy it.]

My fake one says I'm twenty-two.

I'll see what I can find. Good coffee would be pretty nice but don't hold your breath or anything.

[High quality stuff sure doesn't seem very much of a priority for Hope to stock, though maybe they should talk to him about it. Good coffee would definitely inspire some hopeful feelings.]

[unfollowing]

go fuck yourself, smartass. talking about how dumb and blond you are is the best thing you can think to post?

[This is how she shows she cares. Sort of. No yeah this is how she shows she's your friend.]

trust me, i know better than to hope for my wildest dreams to come true in this hellhole

[Yes she has wild daydreams of sipping some really good coffee sometimes. Also can she claim credit for good coffee inspiring hope in people? She's the one pushing for good coffee. You should thank her for the idea, Chris. It was hers, after all.]

[thechoiceisyours]

Well I don't have any serious shit to say about whatever terrible thing is going on at the moment, so pretty much yeah.

[He actually does have something that'd be worth posting about that isn't a bad thing--or nearly as dumb as this--but it's still too early to talk much about it.]

At least there's coffee at all, though. I guess we can be thankful for that?

[He totally doesn't care who gets credit as long as Emily shares any of said good coffee.]

[unfollowing]

i never said if you had any serious shit to post. just not dumb shit like this

yeah, i guess. my refined palate can't really take it, but caffeine is caffeine

[She might consider sparing a scoop or two with you if you end up helping her in her quest to get skin cream or whatever skin product Hope deigns to give her when she fulfills her part of the bargain.]

[thechoiceisyours]

I only work in extremes, Em.

[And those extremes are super serious or super stupid. No in between.]

Somehow I think you're tough enough to handle bad coffee.

[It's a compliment, sort of. Stuck inside a joke. And he would totally offer to help, only he doesn't think he'd be too great at inspiring hope in anyone at the moment.]

[unfollowing]

you're a lost cause

it's a struggle

[Yeah, she's never getting that skin cream.]

[thechoiceisyours]

Yeah yeah

the struggle is super real obviously

[Poor Emily.]