audio.

[ex_break829]

Man. Man. You guys are just, ahahah, just a riot. The guy tied to his bed, the guy trapped in his room, that one weird couple having a blow-out — like, hello, you know we can all see that, right? [ he gives a sigh-chuckle. ] Ahh, bandits.

Aaaanyway, just wanted to check in with everyone, say hi, introduce myself. It's Handsome Jack — yes, the Handsome is legally part of my name, yes, you can just call me Jack, though I will also respond to "sir" and occasionally, "daddy". Some of you have already met me: I'd do shout outs but I've mostlyyy, uh, forgotten all your names? Sorry, kids. Thanks for helping me kill those ugly titty monsters. There's always a job for you at Hyperion.

One last thing, promise I'll make it quick. Space travel. If you know shit about building something that can leave atmo, see me after class. If you know anything about what galaxy and sector we're in, raise your hand. If you're riding out in the desert on one'a these divine spirit quests and you think "boy, that old hunk of scrap looks like it could be useful in constructing a rocket!"? Gimme a call. There could be something in it for you.

Okay kids, that's all for now. Remember to check bloodflow to your partner's bound hands every hour so they don't lose 'em. Jack out.

Comments

[ghoulaid]

hmmmmmm
if the station has lasers can i shoot em

[ex_break829]

excellent question
the answer is hell yes

[ghoulaid]

ok i support me getting lasers so u have my attention
paint me a picture here tho visionary. why do u wanna get off this planet so bad anyway

[ex_break829]

is that a for real question
have you seen this place
i've been here like five minutes and i already know it's the worst

[ghoulaid]

i mean it sucks but it dont suck that bad. theres water & air & stuff so thats pretty shiny....maybe other places got that stuff too but idk
aint it gonna take like 100 years to even float to a diff planet without firing off ion particle hyperjump drives or whatever the shit

[ex_break829]

depends on what resources this planet has.
this kind of a 100-step plan see
hyperspace and lasers are up there in the 90s
step 1 is conversations like this

but if you would rather get left behind sweetheart be my goddamn guest
nothing forcing you to help out

[ghoulaid]

we got sand

anyway fuck space travel i aint about that
but i mean. assuming u aint full of shit...i wanna see how one of these gets built so idk i guess im there
not right this min tho ok i got a lot goin on

[ex_break829]

sure whatever this is all still r&d

you got any skills i should know about?

[ghoulaid]

i guess? i work on cars and bikes and bombs and stuff...idk just normal stuff

[ex_break829]

no shit you're a mechanic?

you checked out the bikes they're offering for the road trip? personally i prefer something with a roof, a mounted gun, and dune-capable suspension, but they're not total crapshows.

[ghoulaid]

i mean i try lol but stuff dont work normal here. shits weird on the insides
the bikes might be ok tho idk i aint checked em out yet. there any left behind?

[ex_break829]

"weird on the inside" what??

there's gotta be a couple, seems like not everybody went

[ghoulaid]

its like...stuff on the inside aint how its sposed to be. parts aint connected right or things that should be in there aint there at all? just pop ur toaster open & u will see

[ex_break829]

[ There's a fairly long IC gap before his next reply. ]

oh shit

[ghoulaid]

lol
surprise!!!
figure the bikes might be the same way but idk. might have somethin good anyway

[ex_break829]

how the f does it look like that and still work.
this is the soap all over again.

but ok. ok. an engine's an engine.
if it can create propulsion horizontally it can do it vertically.