>> video.

[inthewar]

[ He has no idea what the fuck is going on, but he knows he's never felt like this before. He's reflected on the things he regrets, of course, and he's been haunted by the choices he made in certain situations, but he carries on with the business of living well enough. He takes what he can get, what joy he can find, and he focuses on that.

So, what the fuck. ]

Anyone else feeling pretty shitty almost non-stop?

[ He has no shame in talking to people, why the hell not? He has nothing to hide in expressing his emotions, though that doesn't at all mean he's ready or willing to just confess all his sins to whoever the hell is listening right now. He's got some measure of control still. ]

I was a fucking asshole once. I get it. I know it.

But whatever this feeling is now - shit. It's this place, right? It's gotta be.

[ And he has this desperate, almost suffocating need to fix the terrible things he's done, but he can't. He's just paralyzed by this overwhelming feeling of being an irredeemable asshole. ]

[Text]

[dragonsgrasp]

Seeking redemption was my entire goal before I was brought to this place. But I've lost my path recently... I ought to set myself in the right direction again.

Since I've committed numerous atrocities in my past, it's only fair that I start, first, by revealing them all here and now. After that... I don't know what I'll do, but I'll have to figure out something.

1. I used to frequently beat up and bully the person who became my best friend.
2. I have had have had wrongful feelings toward my best friend's beloved.
3. I'm constantly jealous of my best friend, to the point where I often loathe him.
4. I tried to stab my best friend in the back.
5. I stole some crystals.
6. I threatened to kill a little girl.
7. I betrayed all of my friends by fighting against them.
8. I aided in the kidnapping of my best friend's beloved.
9. I purposefully skipped my best friend's wedding.
10. I still sometimes feel a deeply overwhelming moral conflict.
11. In the middle of an endless war, I knocked out and kidnapped several of my allies.
12. I failed the dragoons, my kingdom, and my family name in every way possible.
13. I once dressed like this: Open attached image.

I can surely keep going, but this may be enough of a start. Forgive me. I truly regret all that I've done.