[video] You only THINK I guessed wrong!

[nonscriptum]

I fell victim to one of the classic blunders- do I seriously have to read this?

[You may recognize the guy on your screen as local parkour enthusiast and history nerd Nathan Drake. What he is wearing, however, differs so resolutely from his typical "jeans and a Henley" aesthetic that the broadcast appears to be hosted by a man whose sartorial sensibilities make him look like the quintessential Harvard professor: tweed vest, bow tie and all.

He gives a pleading expression to someone out of frame, who appears to have no mercy. Nate takes a fortifying breath and continues his recitation with approximately zero enthusiasm.]

...the most famous of which is "never get involved in a land war in Asia" - but only slightly less well-known is this: "never challenge an FBI psychologist to deliver a line with a straight face."

[He looks directly at the camera, then at the figure behind the camera, and mimes a finger slicing across his neck at the figure in question with a mouthed I'm going to kill you.]

Comments

[smoketendrils]

I can imagine. Does that material even breathe? [If someone wears tweed in Exandria, they're probably a douchebag. And Percy is a clothing snob.] How long are you going to have to suffer this?

[nonscriptum]

No. It does not.

[Maybe it's best that Percy doesn't see Nate's usual attire, which consists of denim and slightly-too-tight Henleys rolled up to the elbows and boots that have seen better days. As someone who subsisted on hand-me-downs and the charity of church-run thrift stores for a long time, Nate has never been inclined toward haute couture or really...anything that wasn't affordable and serviceable.]

Luckily I only have to wear it for- [He checks his watch, and then frowns.] ...eleven more hours.

[smoketendrils]

[You're a menace to fashion, Nate.]

I assume as part of the bet you can't just hide in a corner?

[Because he knows this kind of bet. You don't get to cheat your way out of it.]

[nonscriptum]

[Says the man unironically wearing a jabot.]

No, gotta go about my day as usual, apparently.

[Although he won't be doing his usual scouting-and-cartography work, given the constraints of his clothing. This is why Indiana Jones always changed before his jobs.

With the lull, he does take a moment to scrutinize Percy's - if the name on the communicator is correct - attire.]

...did you lose a bet, too?

[smoketendrils]

[If this were not normal attire for a noble from Ren Faire World, then he'd probably feel very called out right now, but it is, and he's just confused.]

Is the cloak too much? I only just got it, but I think it's more functional than aesthetic.

[But it is a little bit aesthetic. As he lifts it up- because he's pretty sure that's what's being talked about here, there's little flashes of arcane lightning on the underside.

Hilariously, arcane lightning or no, the leather cloak is probably the least extra thing he's wearing.]

[nonscriptum]

[Is he joking? Is this a joke? Or is this man truly, seriously dressed like Louis the Sun King's goth brother?]

...I was thinking more of the- [Nate gestures around the entirety of his screen.] Everything.

[smoketendrils]

[Oh. Oh well dammit. Luckily, being around people who will totally tell him to his face that he dresses like a ponce keeps this from being something he has to react to with anything other than a lineface.]

The cost of nobility is perpetual fanciness.

[nonscriptum]

Is it, though?

[Nate's question is as crooked as the smile on his face, because now he's giving shit for the sake of giving shit.]

Kind of seems more like an incidental by-product.

[smoketendrils]

[YOU'RE STILL WEARING TWEED, MAN.]

Ah yes, but you see, I'm actually pulling this off.

[To be fair, very few people could pull this off. He's not wrong. It still doesn't make him look less like Steampunk Wyatt Earp Only More English.]

[nonscriptum]

[MAYBE SO...but at least he's taking it off when the day is over.]

Is that what the serfs told you? You know they only say that because they're contractually obligated.

[When in doubt make jokes about the feudal system at the expense of the upper class.]

[smoketendrils]

[In the most sardonic deadpan ever, because it wasn't enough that he's been sarcastic through this entire conversation. He just found a deeper level.] We don't do that in Whitestone.

[nonscriptum]

[Nate isn't an idiot. He can tell when he's pushing someone's buttons unnecessarily, he knows the signs of sarcastic discomfort, but it feels so nice to rib someone who dresses like a distant cousin of Napoleon Bonaparte that he can't quite muster the guilt.

He winks.]

I'll take your word for it.