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hadriel2018-08-16 08:42 am
puzzlingly) wrote in hadriel2018-08-16 08:42 am
Entry tags:
duel 11. video (cw: death or dying)
「It's been a while since he's made a video post in which he looks actually serious, he doesn't look sad for a change, just thoughtful.
When he finally speaks he does it uncharacteristically (for him) quietly, even though, firm.」
How do you deal with loss?
When people leave this place or, when you know you will never see someone you care for again?
When they pass away.
Do you try to forget about them... or... 「No, that thought actually hurts.」
What is that helps you to move on?
「If they do at all.
This has been in his mind ever since Maedhros and Celebrimbor were gone, and even way before. He didn't knew them personally, but he could see how much pain their departure had caused — only one person had made him feel that way, but it wasn't Yugi who left, it was him. Atem left them all and he cannot help but wonder, was he the cause of grief among his loved ones, the ones that survived him when he decided to give up his life, and then when he had to move on from the world of the living a second time?
He doesn't wish to think so highly of himself, but it's hard, specially when all his life the world did use to revolve around him. But he worries about those he left behind, they would be fine, wouldn't they? Heh, if only they knew he hasn't moved on at all, that he still talks to his partner in his head all the time... What a little hypocrite.」
「private text: Kaiba Seto」
Mokuba is gone.
「But Atem is sure he already knows. He doesn't expect a reply.」
When he finally speaks he does it uncharacteristically (for him) quietly, even though, firm.」
How do you deal with loss?
When people leave this place or, when you know you will never see someone you care for again?
When they pass away.
Do you try to forget about them... or... 「No, that thought actually hurts.」
What is that helps you to move on?
「If they do at all.
This has been in his mind ever since Maedhros and Celebrimbor were gone, and even way before. He didn't knew them personally, but he could see how much pain their departure had caused — only one person had made him feel that way, but it wasn't Yugi who left, it was him. Atem left them all and he cannot help but wonder, was he the cause of grief among his loved ones, the ones that survived him when he decided to give up his life, and then when he had to move on from the world of the living a second time?
He doesn't wish to think so highly of himself, but it's hard, specially when all his life the world did use to revolve around him. But he worries about those he left behind, they would be fine, wouldn't they? Heh, if only they knew he hasn't moved on at all, that he still talks to his partner in his head all the time... What a little hypocrite.」
「private text: Kaiba Seto」
Mokuba is gone.
「But Atem is sure he already knows. He doesn't expect a reply.」
no subject
I will help you in any way I can, you deserve that happy ending.
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After all I've done and allowed back in Westeros, I wonder. . . but, thank you. I've done what I can to prepare myself for his world, stitched his name and address in the lining of all of my gowns in case the Door mucks with my memory, and I stay ready. Always ready for the day to come.
no subject
He tries his best to give her a little smile.」
You're... incredible, Margaery.
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she gives a small smile in return]
I don't know if I'd go that far.
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「He jokes even though it's true.」
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It's strange! I used to be so very good at taking compliments, but since coming here I've lost the knack for it.
[perhaps it's because here, she's valued for who she is and in Westeros, she was valued for who she pretended to be]
no subject
Heh, I get it. I don't think your life was too different from mine back then. Everyday, looking pretty, bowing heads, smiling to everyone — kinda miss it but... It was a tiring too. Most good things people would say were because of who I was, I guess, nothing else.
「Not that he pretended to be anyone else, but in some days, it was harder.」
Don't take me wrong, I loved my people. Here, I suppose that doesn't matter anymore.
no subject
[she had to maintain her front as the perfect, charming queen and later as the perfectly pious queen until the day she died]
It does matter. Your love for your people prepared you to love others here.
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Yeah, I guess it was, but I think we've made fairly clear how different our kingdoms were. It was difficult but I wasn't alone. Also, I guess you could say that I was more like a symbol than an actual ruler.
「And that was incredibly frustrating at times, until he stepped up and took the reigns.」
Heh, I'll take your word for it.
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Terribly different. And mine is a mess and it's going to get worse before it gets any better. But, a symbol? Of your country?
[she wishes she could've truly guided Tommen as she'd been raised to do. he had potential to be a good king, but he listened to his mother far too much]
[an innocent look] What, you don't think I'm right?
no subject
Ah, but it'll get there, you'll see. 「Only she, won't, unfortunately, it's just a manner of speech. A little insensitive at that, though. 」
No, a symbol of my Gods. The king represented God among men for my people, so, I didn't exactly had to get involved in the political affairs, that was what the Vizier was for, but I did anyway at some point. It wasn't what you could call, orthodox.
「But he supposes it's painfully obvious that he, himself, is everything but ordinary.」
Oh, no, I wouldn't dream of it, Margaery.
「That goes with a wink.」
no subject
No, I won't. Others will, though. [she's determined to make it to Matt's world, but part of her will always miss Westeros]
Oh, I see. What were your gods like? You've not told me much about them. But, what provoked you into taking a more active role as king?
[far from ordinary!]
Good. My reasoning is impeccable. [she winks back]
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「She should rest assured that at least her world will see a brighter future someday.」
Ah, we had so many. I still do. I still believe despite everything. 「Despite of his culture being gone.」 We had gods for... specific things I guess you call it. Like, Ra, he is the Sun, or Hathor, goddess of fertility, Ma'at, the goddess of Order and Justice. There is Osiris, Anubis, Seth... I could go on but, I'm afraid I'm just gonna bore you, we had many.
「Private.」
「Please don't ask, it'd take forever. And while he doesn't mind sharing anything with her, he may not be as comfortable to share those memories of his that are both, fond and a little painful so out in the open.」
I was... Heh, I was really spoiled then. After my father died and me being crowned king, no one would dare to say anything against my wishes. At least when I was alive, it's how things were done, but even with all the guidance, I was just a child. Then, I guess I woke up one day thinking that my father wouldn't want me to be like that. That he would have wanted me to take care of his kingdom, of his people. So, I tried.
no subject
You still believe in your gods? That must be a comfort to you. [Margaery stopped believing after her ordeal with the Faith of the Seven and the High Sparrow] We had gods for specific things, too, but we only had seven. It sounds as though you had a great deal more.
[Private]
That's all anyone can ask of you. That you tried. Even when you're a ruler. Perhaps especially then.
But no one dared to say anything against your wishes? That sounds. . . potentially tricky. In my world, I knew someone who no one dared to say anything against her wishes. She's the one who killed me.
private video
「It would have certainly been easier on him too.」
... Rest assured that my wishes were mostly, play all day long...
「He didn't get to have anyone killed, well, way later. Hopefully.」
private video
[he told Margaery to lay back and let her third husband fuck her. as though she wasn't angry over the way he'd failed to come to her defense earlier]
Your card games or something else?
[she assumes it's cards]
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「He probably knows that better than most, his people faith was put on him, he was after all, a God among men for all they knew.
But he has to laugh at the other, just a little.」
There were no card games back then. I played a lot of Sennet and Ur. Just, boardgames.
「But it is no lie, he has always liked games.」
private video
[she does not doubt that he did a far better job as a representative of the gods on Earth than the High Sparrow did as a representative of the Faith of the Seven.
she tries for a smile, but it's a little shaky. she's still angry about how she died and it likely shows]
No? Do you have them here or could you make them?
[when she was a small child, her grandmother made her lessons into games. she got a certain number of Great Houses and their lords correct, she got a sweet]
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In retrospective, despite his fate, he had been lucky... so very lucky.
At her smile, he tries to reciprocate in kind. She's carrying so much emotional baggage after all this time, she wasn't alone, no, if this post was any proof of Atem's own but, he often wonders how he could help her free a little better.
It takes him a little moment to reply to that, much more composed now. How could she expect them to go on with the conversation after delivering that bomb? No pun intended.」
Margaery, do you know what Karma is?
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not everybody gets to be lucky.
she could desperately use some time in counseling, but she comes from a society where such a thing is unheard of.
she blinks at the camera to blink back tears and tries to maintain her smile]
No, I've never heard of such a thing. What is it?
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「There was nothing more relaxing than talking about the Goddess of Justice, Ma'at, and how everyone eventually would get their asses kicked by her and playing a little game. Kinda like counselling, just better.」
I did make one with, junk mostly, but it's playable. Less stressing than blackjack.
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[she would like the concept of a goddess of justice, though she'd be afraid of being judged for the way she turned a blind eye to the Lannisters' crimes]
Isn't that what we have to do with everything around here? Cobble things together out of pieces of this or that?
private video
「This is why it was very important to just, be good, as one possibly could. Don't kill people, don't wish them wrong, worship your cats. You know, the usual.」
Heh, right? ... ah... 「A bit of a sigh.」 Can't be helped.
「He is a little ashamed to say it, but he misses a little of the glamour from back home, the commodities, how easy it was everything.」
private video
[she was too blinded by here ambition to be queen back home. she regrets a lot about what she did in Westeros]
Unfortunately, it can't.
[he shouldn't be ashamed to admit that. she misses being queen, having others respond to her beck and call]
private video
「Assuming she wouldn't want to sail through the stupid islands and take forever to get there. He wishes they could move away from here already, even the ice planet sounds easier to deal with than this lost pieces of land on this cold salty soup.」
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