duel 11. video (cw: death or dying)

[puzzlingly]

「It's been a while since he's made a video post in which he looks actually serious, he doesn't look sad for a change, just thoughtful.

When he finally speaks he does it uncharacteristically (for him) quietly, even though, firm.」

How do you deal with loss?

When people leave this place or, when you know you will never see someone you care for again?
When they pass away.
Do you try to forget about them... or... 「No, that thought actually hurts.」

What is that helps you to move on?

「If they do at all.

This has been in his mind ever since Maedhros and Celebrimbor were gone, and even way before. He didn't knew them personally, but he could see how much pain their departure had caused — only one person had made him feel that way, but it wasn't Yugi who left, it was him. Atem left them all and he cannot help but wonder, was he the cause of grief among his loved ones, the ones that survived him when he decided to give up his life, and then when he had to move on from the world of the living a second time?

He doesn't wish to think so highly of himself, but it's hard, specially when all his life the world did use to revolve around him. But he worries about those he left behind, they would be fine, wouldn't they? Heh, if only they knew he hasn't moved on at all, that he still talks to his partner in his head all the time... What a little hypocrite.」


「private text: Kaiba Seto」

Mokuba is gone.

「But Atem is sure he already knows. He doesn't expect a reply.」

Comments

[puzzlingly]

「Cue more laughing.」

It's not my fault! I just-- I don't think I'd be good at that... okay yeah I see now what you mean. Maybe both of us need to stop.

[toiletseat_girl]

You stop. My defense mechanisms work perfectly for me, thank you.

[puzzlingly]

Heh, you think I cannot see through them? What are you even defending yourself from?

[toiletseat_girl]

Yeah, but you're usually nice enough to not call me out on 'em. And, the world. I'm defending myself against the world.

[puzzlingly]

Oh, come on, it is not that bad, is it?

[toiletseat_girl]

It can be. Grade school, middle school, high school, college all sucked. I had no friends. In fact, I had people treating me like shit the whole time. So I just kind of built up these defense mechanisms and [she shrugs] never let 'em down.

[puzzlingly]

「Huh, that's familiar, awfully so.」

I see... I had no idea. I'm sorry.

「If only she had been lucky enough to find one ancient Egyptian magic artifact with a soul inside, he could have been her friend! Totes.」

It's probably not the wisest idea to let them down here either, I guess.

[toiletseat_girl]

No, it's cool. [it's not] I got used to it somewhere around third grade.

[if only, right? but fate happens and they got to be friends, anyway]

Not always, no. But for some reason, it's easier here.

[puzzlingly]

「This is a little sad, meanwhile Atem can only think of his partner and how he used to be bullied, how he had to step up for him to protect him, no matter what. Yugi had been "lucky" to find him — something questionable, at best — to release him back into the world, but it's clear that there are so many others out there with no such luck whatsoever, with no one to defend them. It's just plain sad. George, she's great, she deserved better. It makes him a little bit mad, not at her of course, it's just so unfair!」 

You've made friends here, that's gotta count for something.

[toiletseat_girl]

[whereas George just accepted it as a fact of life. the sun rises, she goes to school, she gets treated like shit, she goes home, takes a few more blows to her self-esteem just for fun, goes to bed, repeat the next day. ordinary. predictable. and eventually led to her emotionally shutting down completely unless it was to rile another person up]

Yeah. It does. It's nice. It's real nice.

[puzzlingly]

「That is so not what life is like! Only it is, isn't it? It's so normal that no one cares — well, he does.」

I'm... glad.

「Aw, now he looks a little sad. But just a little, he's glad he can be her friend now.」

I'll see you later tonight, alright? You better bring your A-game, George.

[toiletseat_girl]

[and she's glad he does]

Me too.

[she notices the sad look and tries to look like it's all good. how successful she is at it, who knows?]

All right, see you then. And you better believe it.