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[deviledlegs]

Hey, all you heavenly angels and cocky asshats! Consider this your very first public service announcement on behalf of everyone's favorite pirate cook, Sanji.

[There he is, blowing cigarette smoke at his phone's camera with that shit-eating grin. All is well, or so it seems.]

I need food wrapping paper and air-tight containers. A shit ton of them.

Each and every lovely lady who has the generosity to go out of her way and deliver some to me will go home with any dish her heart desires so long as I have the ingredients! You other bastards can just be grateful knowing you might not actually starve later.

[He wiggles his fingers in a rather silly goodbye gesture.]

Ciao!

Comments

Video

[stupid_monkey]

Why only ladies? I can get those things too! Why can't I get dinner for it?

[deviledlegs]

Because we have limited supplies, and we need to be saving as much of it as we can!

[These rules don't apply for beautiful ladies who compliment him. Can't imagine why.]

You want dinner, then bring your own ingredients.

[stupid_monkey]

[He's thinking about it.]
...

...

...

[Nope, nothing.]

That doesn't make any sense!

[deviledlegs]

It makes perfect sense to anyone with their priorities straight!

[stupid_monkey]

No it doesn't! Why is it a waste if it's for me, but totally fine if it's for a girl?

I could get you loads of that stuff, but I'm not gonna if you're going to be unfair about it.

[Not that he knows where any of that stuff is, but he'd check all of the shops if it meant food.]

[deviledlegs]

Because girls are beautiful and delicate and perfect, and they require every ounce of my affections! I don't have any left for you!

[...]

So if you have those things, just bring them here anyway and accept it.

[Yeah, that's persuasive. Nailed it.]

[stupid_monkey]

Ew! I don't want any of your affection!

I'm not bringing you anything, you perv!

[deviledlegs]

Then you don't want my food!

[Not that he wanted to give this guy any of his affections anyway! Baka!]

Now get me some air-tight containers if you want to keep eating for the foreseeable future!

[stupid_monkey]

I do too!

[He remembers those crabs, they tasted amazing with this guy cooking]

I'm not bringing you anything unless you I get to eat too.

[deviledlegs]

[Okay, hold up. Sanji drops one of his hands into his pants pocket and takes a deep breath before frowning at the camera.]

Do you even have anything, or are you just going to start desperately searching the moment I agree?

[stupid_monkey]

So what? You'd get stuff either way.

[The tongue sticking out at him is the epitome of maturity.]

[deviledlegs]

[Oh gosh. Holy shit. He's really arguing about this just to motivate himself. And in total earnest too.

He's Luffy.

Sanji can use this.]

Tell you what. Bring me everything you can find that's clean, air-tight, ad could fit in a fridge. Each one of those items I decide to use is one side dish for you.

Deal?

[stupid_monkey]

Deal!

[Goku smiles wide as though they hadn't just been arguing. He's glad that the cook saw logic eventually.]

I'll bring you everything I can find!

[deviledlegs]

[...He really is Luffy. With a stomach to match. How did the universe manage to produce two of them without imploding?]

Just bring me the good stuff!