video;

[deviledlegs]

Hey, all you heavenly angels and cocky asshats! Consider this your very first public service announcement on behalf of everyone's favorite pirate cook, Sanji.

[There he is, blowing cigarette smoke at his phone's camera with that shit-eating grin. All is well, or so it seems.]

I need food wrapping paper and air-tight containers. A shit ton of them.

Each and every lovely lady who has the generosity to go out of her way and deliver some to me will go home with any dish her heart desires so long as I have the ingredients! You other bastards can just be grateful knowing you might not actually starve later.

[He wiggles his fingers in a rather silly goodbye gesture.]

Ciao!

Comments

[Video]

[imhisaunt]

I have some containers you could have! Oh...but..... I'm not a lady....

[Does that disqualify him? Delmar feels very confused, not able to follow Sanji's through his own bewilderment]

[deviledlegs]

[Sanji's expression could best be described as a pout. Damn, it's so disappointing to have his first bite be some old guy. Still, the old guy has air-tight containers. So he's an extremely useful old guy. Kudos to him.]

Bring them in, bring them in! Your reward will be the warm, fuzzy feeling in your chest you get from doing the right thing. You know, the one that's not heart burn.

Video

[stupid_monkey]

Why only ladies? I can get those things too! Why can't I get dinner for it?

[deviledlegs]

Because we have limited supplies, and we need to be saving as much of it as we can!

[These rules don't apply for beautiful ladies who compliment him. Can't imagine why.]

You want dinner, then bring your own ingredients.

[stupid_monkey]

[He's thinking about it.]
...

...

...

[Nope, nothing.]

That doesn't make any sense!

[glazedonutholes]

[ A gasp. ]

How did you know?!

[deviledlegs]

[blink blink what]

Know what? That we won't starve if we have food?

[glazedonutholes]

No, silly. That I was heavenly.

I could have sworn I only told Wash.

[ Donut... you don't even remember who you told, do you? ]

video;

[storyseeker]

How big is your ingredient stash?

[deviledlegs]

[Unlike with the poor guys who have given him a ring so far, Sanji is immediately at full attention for this beautiful face.]

As big as our island prison allows, Miss! Though I'll have to substitute most fresh produce with their Hadriel-brand equivalent. I'm terribly sorry for the inconvenience!

[storyseeker]

That's still pretty vague. But I'm just curious, really. I can look around our kitchen and see if we've got some containers like that. You storing up for winter?

[Video]

[missiondeterminant]

[Connor is, as usual, covering the LED on his temple with a beanie and so appears human; however, he is definitely not, and therefore this whole food issue doesn't matter to him in the slightest. It's for that reason that he just sounds vaguely curious when he asks--]

Is insulting approximately half the population really the best method of getting the supplies you want?

[deviledlegs]

It's the best way I operate, and since I'm the one preparing the food, my answer is yes!

[He insists proudly. Like a dumbass.]

[missiondeterminant]

[...Humans. So dumb. But he prefers this to some alternatives, so he's still just faintly amused in response.]

How is it working for you so far?

video

[uptightness]

[Ah. Him.]

Anyone actually taken you up on your generous offer?

[deviledlegs]

Miss Carolina!

[He never forgets a woman's name. Sorry.]

So far, I have to thank a generous old man and some bizarre humanoid starburst! But I'd feel a hundred times better if only I had the opportunity to show my gratitude to you!

[uptightness]

[But he forgets that there should be no miss.]

You already said thanks.

[More or less. She really doesn't require anything further. Rather, it was that idle curiosity that prompted her.]

What's a humanoid starburst though?

[Video]

[such_a_teez]

You really know how to endear yourself. [He says it only a little dryly.] Any lovely ladies willing to give you the time of day so far? How about angels? Any come from the heavens with containers for you? [His bet? Normally zero for this type of man. But Sanji claims that he can cook, which actually ups his chances despite... the rest of him. Tyki is too curious if he's capable of getting a woman to talk to him to avoid responding. Inquiring minds and all that.]

[deviledlegs]

If I wanted to endear myself to anyone, I wouldn't have become a pirate.

[He laughs. Sure, it's a joke; it's meant to be funny. But he's dead serious. The fact that he's serious is kind of funny too.]

But yes! I've already had the pleasure of greeting two stellar ladies who raised their phones just to chat with me! Truly, I am a blessed man of charm and charisma!

[such_a_teez]

True enough. There are less endearing fields, certainly, but not many with quite the reputation attached to them as piracy.

[Tyki blinks, and then laughs when Sanji says he's met a couple stellar ladies. Especially in the way he says it. The girls of Hadriel must be desperate indeed. Or just kind.

Or hungry. He supposes that can't hurt.] I suppose that means a good deal, doesn't it? [Oh, Sanji. If lifting a phone is all it takes to make him feel charming and charismatic...]

video

[pocketspa]

Oh, so it has to be girls, huh? Bet I could get you to not know the diff.

[There he is, big ol' grin, the bastard man.]

I see you didn't mince your face, good job.

[deviledlegs]

[It doesn't have to only be girls. He'll gladly accept supplies from anyone. He'll only reward girls.

Before he takes it upon himself to explain this, however, something a great deal more important must be addressed.]

My mellorine detector has never been wrong! I accept your challenge!

[Im. Port. Ant.]

[pocketspa]

You wanna bet on it?

[He looks so smug, because he already knows the exact plan here.]

I'll turn up, even bring you what you asked for. But you can't beat magic, baby. I'll be as pretty as any girl you've ever seen.

[He has no idea if Sanji has spoken to Lup or not, but he's about to flex that twin sister prank benefit hard.]

video;

[writtendestiny]

[Poison is a young lady, though she wouldn't consider herself a 'lovely' one, and she comes with a question rather than the supplies being asked for.]

What does being a lady have to do with it?

[deviledlegs]

Nothing! [He admits cheerfully.] It has to do with my preferences!