video;

[deviledlegs]

Hey, all you heavenly angels and cocky asshats! Consider this your very first public service announcement on behalf of everyone's favorite pirate cook, Sanji.

[There he is, blowing cigarette smoke at his phone's camera with that shit-eating grin. All is well, or so it seems.]

I need food wrapping paper and air-tight containers. A shit ton of them.

Each and every lovely lady who has the generosity to go out of her way and deliver some to me will go home with any dish her heart desires so long as I have the ingredients! You other bastards can just be grateful knowing you might not actually starve later.

[He wiggles his fingers in a rather silly goodbye gesture.]

Ciao!

Comments

[Video]

[imhisaunt]

I have some containers you could have! Oh...but..... I'm not a lady....

[Does that disqualify him? Delmar feels very confused, not able to follow Sanji's through his own bewilderment]

[deviledlegs]

[Sanji's expression could best be described as a pout. Damn, it's so disappointing to have his first bite be some old guy. Still, the old guy has air-tight containers. So he's an extremely useful old guy. Kudos to him.]

Bring them in, bring them in! Your reward will be the warm, fuzzy feeling in your chest you get from doing the right thing. You know, the one that's not heart burn.

Video

[stupid_monkey]

Why only ladies? I can get those things too! Why can't I get dinner for it?

[deviledlegs]

Because we have limited supplies, and we need to be saving as much of it as we can!

[These rules don't apply for beautiful ladies who compliment him. Can't imagine why.]

You want dinner, then bring your own ingredients.

[stupid_monkey]

[He's thinking about it.]
...

...

...

[Nope, nothing.]

That doesn't make any sense!

[deviledlegs]

It makes perfect sense to anyone with their priorities straight!

[glazedonutholes]

[ A gasp. ]

How did you know?!

[deviledlegs]

[blink blink what]

Know what? That we won't starve if we have food?

[glazedonutholes]

No, silly. That I was heavenly.

I could have sworn I only told Wash.

[ Donut... you don't even remember who you told, do you? ]

[stupid_monkey]

No it doesn't! Why is it a waste if it's for me, but totally fine if it's for a girl?

I could get you loads of that stuff, but I'm not gonna if you're going to be unfair about it.

[Not that he knows where any of that stuff is, but he'd check all of the shops if it meant food.]

[deviledlegs]

What?!

[HERESY.

This guy is twisting his words into something they're not! He's being misunderstood, mistaken, misconstrued! How dare!]

You are no such thing! My heavens are populated by divine curves and luscious lips!

[glazedonutholes]

Aww. Why thank you Mister.

[ Yeah, he totally ignored the first part and focused on the latter. ]

[deviledlegs]

Because girls are beautiful and delicate and perfect, and they require every ounce of my affections! I don't have any left for you!

[...]

So if you have those things, just bring them here anyway and accept it.

[Yeah, that's persuasive. Nailed it.]

[deviledlegs]

[What are coherent thoughts?]

THAT WASN'T A COMPLIMENT TOWARDS YOU!

[glazedonutholes]

But I distinctly heard you say my Heavens. It's totally nice of you to compliment me and all but you don't have too. I'd be happy to help with your food drive. As my mom's always said, a home-cooked meal is a labor of love.

You really must have a lot of love in you Mister.

[stupid_monkey]

Ew! I don't want any of your affection!

I'm not bringing you anything, you perv!

[deviledlegs]

[LKAJSLDKFJASKLDFMLKSDJFLASDF LKLDFJKKOLKJA]

That-

You-

You!!!!

[Frantic. Angry. Pointing!]

Not you! Not for you! No!

That's-

No!

[glazedonutholes]

Aww. Acting shy now.

Don't worry. Your secrets safe with me.

[ And with a wink, he closes his device. He'll stop by later to drop off some packaging. ]

[deviledlegs]

Then you don't want my food!

[Not that he wanted to give this guy any of his affections anyway! Baka!]

Now get me some air-tight containers if you want to keep eating for the foreseeable future!

[deviledlegs]

[Sanji will at least be semi-composed by then. If one of the tables in his commandeered restaurant just happens to be upside down on the other side of the seating area, certainly that's unrelated.]

video;

[storyseeker]

How big is your ingredient stash?

[glazedonutholes]

[ There's a jingling of the bells and moments later Donut enters all happy and gay. ]

Hiya Mister.

[deviledlegs]

[Unlike with the poor guys who have given him a ring so far, Sanji is immediately at full attention for this beautiful face.]

As big as our island prison allows, Miss! Though I'll have to substitute most fresh produce with their Hadriel-brand equivalent. I'm terribly sorry for the inconvenience!

[Video]

[missiondeterminant]

[Connor is, as usual, covering the LED on his temple with a beanie and so appears human; however, he is definitely not, and therefore this whole food issue doesn't matter to him in the slightest. It's for that reason that he just sounds vaguely curious when he asks--]

Is insulting approximately half the population really the best method of getting the supplies you want?

[deviledlegs]

[Sanji is halfway surprised that Emporio Ivankov himself hasn't just forced his way inside. But no, he reminds himself. This guy isn't a pushy lunatic; he's just clueless.

He points to a table with a few random containers piled atop it already, feigning suave nonchalance.]

Right over there.