hadriel | 006 [Video]

So uh... Hey everyone. Again.

[He could probably get a better opening line, but whatever. Moving on.]

I know like, a bunch of people just arrived so... Welcome, I guess. We're still working on the newbie's guide to waking up in a cave-city run by gods, but until then like, if you have any questions I can try and help? Also uh, it's probably safe at this point and we're just being paranoid, but you may want to avoid eating any meat products you find here. For reasons.

[MOVING ON.]

Also uh, sort of related, but I was thinking that maybe before next month we should really... Plan some way to help out? I mean, people just sort of show up and half the time there's monsters too, and... Maybe some sort of organized thing for helping the new people not get like, eaten or whatever would be a good idea.

[This is not exactly his area of expertise, so if other people want to take charge on this he's more than happy to let them, but otherwise he'll try and figure something out. It really seems like something important to get established.]

In uh, a rare moment of good news though, the whole coffee thing worked out. So if you want coffee there's some at Delight's bar now, though you'll have to like... Be kind of patient with me and the others being possibly terrible baristas. Still kind of getting the hang of the whole thing.

[But surely coffee itself is well worth any less-than-practiced customer service; they're at least pretty good at making coffee, including somewhat elaborate drinks, and as far as Chris is aware they're all trying. That's what counts, right?

Right?]

I think that's about it, except for that like... If anyone's curious, the handheld games from the arena this month are just normal games. I thought maybe they'd be some sort of weird alien-versions of them, but I guess not; I took one apart and it was all the expected stuff inside it.

That said I'm totally betting I can beat anyone's high scores.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

you do shit like this, but somehow i'm the biggest jerk?

life's seriously not fair

Hate to break it to you Em but you lost the biggest jerk title awhile ago.

Wasn't sure how to tell you.

no one tells me shit, and then you all wonder why i'm angry all the time

who has it now

Sorry Em, I know the news is hard to take.

I dunno, some shady asshole here.

[There's a lot of people here who are not just jerks but probably actually dangerous.]

i'll be ok now that there's good coffee

i think we both know who, if we're actually being serious

Yeah, I don't want to jinx it or whatever but for once something's gone right.

[He pauses a moment, unsure if Emily means who he thinks, but decides to play it off.]

Hey, maybe I know more jerks than you.

Edited 2016-05-14 16:40 (UTC)

my enjoyment alone will be enough to keep the coffee flowing

no maybes about it, chris. you sometimes have the absolute worst taste in friends

Yeah, I think we're good on fulfilling our end of the bargain.

You know, I'd argue with you, but everyone I'd guess you'd label as the biggest jerk here is a friend of mine, so.

[It's a lame joke, but also completely true. Damnit.]

i told you so

you say that like i didn't get punched in the stomach or insulted for having the audacity to be born not 100% white european

Well you really should've done more to control circumstances before your birth Emily, geez.

honestly chris if you were in the same room as me right now, i would probably kick you in the balls as a way of congratulating you for growing some in order to make that terrible fucking joke

[Which is actually a roundabout way of admitting she finds it kind of funny.]