hadriel | [video] - Backdated to July 18th

[Newt is in Hope's Temple. He is Pissed. In fact, it's almost possible to say he's gone all the way into Angry.]

Listen up, so there's this giant triangle-headed asshole dragging an enormous cleaver around. His name is Pyramid Head, and if he catches you, he will rip your skin off, disembowel you, and then play with your insides. For fun. Trust me, avoid him at all costs. Stay in a temple if you need to. In fact, considering how much more fucked up this place just got, I'd even recommend it at this point. This guy is way faster than he looks and he has zero mercy for anyone. It doesn't matter how powerful you think you are, Pyramid Head will rip you in half. Literally.

[his expression darkens even furth, if at all possible]

And for the idiot who pulled him in here? Fuck you. Fuck you and fuck whatever you were trying to accomplish because dragging fuckING PYRAMID HEAD IN HERE [yep we have gotten up to a yell, ladies and gentlemen, that sure is a bunch screechy yelling] WAS NOT A SOLUTION!

[and the screen goes dark as he hangs up]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Yeah so Wade's been sticking to Newt like warts on a toad these past few days. Ever since that horrible caricature of himself teleported into their lives, he's not going to leave things up to chance that any of his friends here aren't going to suffer an ignoble death by its hands. It'd just be downright embarrassing. Coupled with the fact that their old friend P. Hiddy seems to have followed them from the festering hellhole that was Haven, and Wade's not moving from Newt's side at all.

He owes it to Travis.

Newt's sudden outburst startles him, distracts him from fiddling with his holographic watch, though he supposes it's not completely out of character. Dude still wears the scars of his time in Haven (in some cases, even literally) and they're all still feeling a little jumpy-- even Wade, who'd spent the better part of a year in what amounted to Space Vegas after the fact. PTSD isn't something that can be fucked away, unfortunately.

Still, Wade figures he might as well acknowledge Newt's anger... in his own sensitive way, of course.]

Easy there dear, think of your blood pressure.

[Newt scowls a bit, though not at Wade, shoving the phone in his pocket once the post is made and ended]

My blood pressure's fine. Probably low or something, even. [he snorts] Anyway, she deserved it, and people deserve to know what to watch out for.

Oh, I'm not sayin' it was a bad idea. Just... y'know. Sounds like you're releasing a lot of pent-up aggression there.

You okay, darlin'? You need a beer an' a backrub?

[The mock-flirtatious tone in his voice implies that he's being facetious. Maybe. From the way things went pear-shaped relatively quickly, they might all need backrubs by the end of it. And alcohol. Tons of it.]

Edited 2016-06-20 12:44 (UTC)

[asldfhs Newt can't help but choke on a laugh at that, though it's half a snort, and he's elbowing Wade in retaliation] Aww, that'd be great, man, thanks! You're so thoughtful!

[It's good to hear Newt laugh after all these years. Wade's surprised to find how much he's missed it, and he has to take a moment to swallow the lump in his throat. Just a momentary spasm, nothing to worry about.]

I dunno, man. I mean, I'd love to, but that'd be kinda musclin' in on your liebchen's territory, yeah?

Hmmm, now that you mention it, Hermann's never given me a back rub. [he is considering this very seriously] Is that grounds for neglect?

[Wade's eyes widen in an expression of mock dismay.]

Ruh-roh. Sounds like a relationship on the rocks to me.

You'd better sort that shit out quick before you lose him to a cute little beaker with an hourglass figure.

I've seen it happen before-- it's tragic as hell.

[Sounds like a relationship on the rocks to me.

It's supposed to be a joke. It's funny. He should laugh. And he does! Laugh! But it sounds a little strained, now, and weak] I--yeah, totally. Though I think I'm probably safe--I doubt we could find a beaker out here if we wanted to. [GOING FOR LIGHTHEARTED]

Hey, you never know. Hermann might get desperate enough to find himself a nice petri dish. It kinda has an hourglass figure if you get drunk enough?

[Yeah, guess who's completely oblivious to the fact that he's accidentally on point with that whole "relationship on the rocks" thing.]

[Newt swallows, at that] Nah, man, that's not Hermann's style. He's all about math and the cosmos and stuff.

The cosmos?

[Don't make the easy joke, don't make the easy joke, don't make the easy joke--]

I can image. I mean, he's probably probed Uranus several times, right?

[God fucking dammit Wade.]

[alksdhfs Newt can't quite help the blush that spreads over the bridge of his nose, though he does laugh.] Uhhh, not quite yet, no. We haven't really, uh...gotten that far. Or had time for it. Or anything like that.

Whaaaaat?

[News to Wade. He thought you'd have already broken out the engagement rings by now.]

Havin' trouble gettin' in the mood or something? Pretty sure I got my iPod around here somewhere-- you like Marvin Gaye or is Barry White more your style?

[video] - Backdated to July 18th

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just pretend I can type and that last tag says "imagine" OTL