Dr. Newt Geiszler (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
fortunefavored) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
hadriel2016-06-19 04:48 pm
fortunefavored) wrote in hadriel2016-06-19 04:48 pm
Entry tags:
[video] - Backdated to July 18th
[Newt is in Hope's Temple. He is Pissed. In fact, it's almost possible to say he's gone all the way into Angry.]
Listen up, so there's this giant triangle-headed asshole dragging an enormous cleaver around. His name is Pyramid Head, and if he catches you, he will rip your skin off, disembowel you, and then play with your insides. For fun. Trust me, avoid him at all costs. Stay in a temple if you need to. In fact, considering how much more fucked up this place just got, I'd even recommend it at this point. This guy is way faster than he looks and he has zero mercy for anyone. It doesn't matter how powerful you think you are, Pyramid Head will rip you in half. Literally.
[his expression darkens even furth, if at all possible]
And for the idiot who pulled him in here? Fuck you. Fuck you and fuck whatever you were trying to accomplish because dragging fuckING PYRAMID HEAD IN HERE [yep we have gotten up to a yell, ladies and gentlemen, that sure is a bunch screechy yelling] WAS NOT A SOLUTION!
[and the screen goes dark as he hangs up]
Listen up, so there's this giant triangle-headed asshole dragging an enormous cleaver around. His name is Pyramid Head, and if he catches you, he will rip your skin off, disembowel you, and then play with your insides. For fun. Trust me, avoid him at all costs. Stay in a temple if you need to. In fact, considering how much more fucked up this place just got, I'd even recommend it at this point. This guy is way faster than he looks and he has zero mercy for anyone. It doesn't matter how powerful you think you are, Pyramid Head will rip you in half. Literally.
[his expression darkens even furth, if at all possible]
And for the idiot who pulled him in here? Fuck you. Fuck you and fuck whatever you were trying to accomplish because dragging fuckING PYRAMID HEAD IN HERE [yep we have gotten up to a yell, ladies and gentlemen, that sure is a bunch screechy yelling] WAS NOT A SOLUTION!
[and the screen goes dark as he hangs up]
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[Emily has stepped up a few feet away from him, off to his side. Her arms are crossed, but her glare is half-hearted at best. She's so fucking tired of this shit.]
Not that I don't agree with what you said, but could you please keep it the fuck down.
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perma-action hell ye
[Cue dramatic eyeroll.]
How do you even know what the hell that thing is out there, anyway?
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[no YOU'RE an idiot--but before he can actually SAY that, the question catches his attention]
Because--[his scowl gets darker, even]--in the last inter-dimensional hellhole I was kidnapped to, the evil Corporation that captured us tossed him into our cage on a regular basis to terrorize us and to guard their secrets. Let's just say I've had way more contact with that guy than I would've ever liked.
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What the hell is she supposed to even start with?]
There's more than one of these weird places? Goddamn. So even if we could work the Door, we could end up somewhere worse.
[Or at least just as bad.]
Goddamn.
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[Fuck all of this shit, honestly.]
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[H o n e s t l y. Who is this asshole.]
Just quit yelling. Everybody heard you. Good job.
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I didn't say that you did? [wtf yourself]
And I only yelled the once! Chill.
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You failed, by the way. You don't tell Emily to chill.]
I'm literally the one telling you to chill.
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Yeah? Well I'm telling you to chill about telling me to chill.
[Actual Five-Year-Old Newt Geiszler]
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Whatever. Don't shit yourself when the sirens sound again.
[She's done with you, and it's more important for her to keep Ashley company right now, so off she goes to do just that.]