第4: [text] lost in translation

[unfollowing]

((OOC: Collected misfires etc sent from Emily's phone to just about everyone. They will all be in the comments to this entry.

UD house and anyone around Emily at the time when a totemo kawaii text gets sent will hear angry swearing.

PM (unfollowing) or PP (punnyinpink) me if you want a text from Emily during the event, regardless of whether or not your character has CR with her. What better way to meet Em than through Rage's fuckery?? 8D))

Comments

[pighead]

japanese right

what does it mean

[unfollowing]

[This is literally the definition of hell, fuck this, and THANK GOD JOSH CAN'T READ JAPANESE. This is fucking mortifying.

She types: 'i was just asking who wants to take coffee to the clinic tomorrow'

What appears when she hits 'send':]

that i... have a crush on you... i have for a while now, actually...

[Only dogs can hear the screeching sound Emily makes when she reads that.]

[pighead]

[What the fuck.]

aw man

you know i always figured

sorry you had to hide your burning and undeniable love for so long

[Look, Josh can't pass up this opportunity to mess with her. He just can't.]

action

[unfollowing]

[THIS ISN'T WORKING WELL AT ALL.

Emily marches over to his room to clarify things that REALLY NEED CLARIFYING.

First things first, though, as she knocks on his door with her eyes closed.]

Are you dressed, asshole? I need to talk to you. Spoilers: I do not have a crush on you.

action

[pighead]

[He opens the door. He is, in fact, dressed - thank god - and the expression on his face is very theatrically shocked.]

What? Em, are you saying you lied to me? Were you playing with my heart?

[He's gonna get his ass kicked.]

action

[unfollowing]

[There's a moment where Emily realizes that this is exactly what Rage wants. (And it has to be Rage. It fucking has to be.) That she is playing right into her games. That she is making this worse for herself by coming to scream at Josh for being, in the end, a troll.

So she's not going to yell.

No, she's going to punch him in the hip -- painful, but probably harmless coming from her.]

Play with this, fucker!

[Congratulations, Josh. Emily has swung a fist at your hip. What do.]

action

[pighead]

[What Josh doesn't do is dodge, or make any actual attempt to get away. He does stumble back, and rub the now-aching spot on his hip.]

Ow! Man, you hit pretty hard. I thought you'd be too worried about breaking a nail.

[A legitimate expectation, he thinks.]

Come on, it was funny.

action

[unfollowing]

[GOOD. She hopes he bruises. Fucker.]

Please. Like I don't know how to throw a punch without breaking a nail.

[Come on now, Josh.]

It was stupid. [And harmless, ultimately.]

action

[pighead]

Emily, ninja warrior.

[Yeah, okay. He shouldn't have been surprised.]

Sure, but we could use a little stupid here. You know. After all that bullshit.

action

[unfollowing]

[She would probably kick ass on Ninja Warrior, actually.]

I guess. [It's muttered through gritted teeth.] At least nobody else asked me to translate for them.

[God, how many other people would the glitch have made her fake confess to?]

action

[pighead]

Hey, half of them probably didn't even know it was Japanese. These people are from crazy places.

[Josh is at least from a world where the language exists, has friends who speak it, and has some basic knowledge of its existence.]

It did this to a bunch of your messages?

[Don't laugh, Josh. She'll just hit you again. Do NOT laugh.]

[unfollowing]

[He'd better not fucking laugh. She's watching him like a hawk.]

That, or fucking kaomoji.

[Or putting 'nyan' after everything, but fuck that, she is not saying that out loud.]

[pighead]

[He's REALLY trying not to. And succeeding, for now.]

Man, that's harsh. Mine was doing weird emoji too for awhile.

[It didn't bother him too much.]

[unfollowing]

[Lucky fucker.]

Rage is good at her shit. [That much, Emily will grant her.] Just don't get any ideas, all right? I have a boyfriend.

[pighead]

What, you mean you're not gonna dump Matt for me? You're breakin' my heart here, Em.

[Yeah, he's still going to give her a hard time.]

[unfollowing]

[Rather than answer, Emily just rolls her eyes and gives him the finger, muttering asshole as she turns and heads back to her room.]